Motivation

Guest Post – Balancing Your Bipolar – by Blythe Edwards

November 21, 2017 by Kathryn

**Today I have a guest post by writer and Drops of Awesome reader Blythe Edwards. Her new book Balancing Your Bipolar: A Holistic Approach to Living a Life You Love is aimed at helping people with Bipolar Disorder find meaning and healing in their struggles.**

Why I am Passionate About Balancing Bipolar

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 2 when I was 17 and since that time I have often had the feeling that if I could just help people who have similar experiences with the struggle, it would be worth the pain I have gone through.

Over the years, I have had a few opportunities here and there to do just that. Nothing big, but as I have become more open about sharing my experiences, I have found more people who have family members or friends who have bipolar and they are better able to understand them through our conversations.

This past year I decided I wanted to write a book about my life. It has morphed into something more and it is less about me, and more about sharing my experience so that I can help people who have bipolar and their loved ones to understand it better and work to find balance. Mental illness is a struggle for many people but it doesn’t have to be the end all.

I am so pleased with the initial responses from my family and friends who have gained a deeper understanding of their family members and friends through reading Balancing Your Bipolar.

I am so grateful for those who are brave enough to be real about their experiences with mental illness of all kinds that have helped me to be open as well.

I have written Balancing Your Bipolar: A Holistic Approach to Living a Life You Love to reach a larger number of people and be a positive voice to help them find balance and greater happiness.

Who I Am

I am a 27 year old mom of three young girls and I get to stay home with them every day. I am trying to do my best and manage what life throws at us. I work to be open and real about my experiences to help decrease the stigma associated with mental illnesses and be a positive influence.

How Drops of Awesome Helped Me

I found the post about Drops of Awesome a few weeks after it was published in early 2013. It was so powerful for me as a young mom with one 18-month-old little girl. I was still struggling to accept my diagnosis and using Drops of Awesome daily made a huge difference for me.

It became my journal for about two years. Sometimes daily, overall very consistently. I would tell myself Drops of Awesome for the little things throughout the day and then journal about them in a gratitude journal as well.

It helped change my perspective of my depression periods. I went from beating myself up for doing what felt like nothing each day, to looking for and praising the little things. In this I was able to do more many days, but even when I wasn’t able to, I was so much happier with myself.

Now, I still use Drops of Awesome during my depressions, which I am actually experiencing now. It has been great to revisit this strategy in detail and realize how much of an effect it has had on my life. When I look at dishes or another chore that needs to be done I can tell myself “drops of awesome” for putting away that one dish, or folding that shirt. In that moment I am awesome!

That attitude shift makes all the difference in allowing me to find joy in my life.

Bucket of Awesome – Write Your Story – Free e-Course

March 7, 2017 by Kathryn

Bucket of Awesome: The Your-Life’s More Amazing Than You Realize Guidebook launches today! It’s my Book Birthday!

And what’s a birthday without gifts? That’s why I’m also launching Bucket of Awesome – Write Your Story, a free e-course.

Whether you want to create a document outlining your life for future generations, or simply frame your history from a place of power and optimism, creating a Bucket of Awesome is your solution.

Bucket of Awesome is a writing journey to help you put your life into joyful and hopeful focus. Completing this project will help you learn and remember all the things that have made your life so remarkable.

You will get the benefit of a renewed sense of gratitude and purpose and those who come after will be inspired by a document that tells the story of your unique life and perspective.

Sign up for my free e-course and get started today!

choose from each week.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. This means I may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase something from a link I post. Don’t worry, it costs you nothing. Thank you for supporting my website!

Digging out of a Hole

February 10, 2017 by Kathryn

I don’t often need to listen to Weezer but when I do it really pumps me up. Because if they can rhyme “front” with “violent…lunt,” then I’m pretty sure I can do anything I put my mind to.

What’s with these homies dissin’ my girl?
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys
That made them so violent?

Wednesday was a crappy day. And I’d like to make the disclaimer that I know I have an easy, charmed life, but some days are just hard. I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to accomplish and I did do a bunch of stuff that I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do. And that makes me feel bad about myself. When I feel bad about myself, I consider that a crappy day. And I had been sliding toward it for about a week.

It was one of those days where you don’t want to do anything you should do for the very reason that you know you should do it. You don’t know what I’m talking about? Feel free to move along.

One of the big problems stemmed from the fact that I decided to try Weight Watchers a few weeks ago. Mother Oprah says she’s finally found peace with food by using Weight Watchers so I thought, Why not? Bring it, O-Money! The problem is that a few weeks into just about any diet, I get angry.

What the chicken? I’m sick of chicken. No one can make me eat this delicious chicken breast. Even me. Even though I’m the one setting the limits, I get mad that the limits exist. “Accountability is the worst,” I say! So, I ate the whole house on Wednesday. And it didn’t even taste good.

I do much better emotionally when I simply make small changes to my eating habits, rather than going all-in on a new “lifestyle.” But I don’t always do so well with my weight when I simply make small changes and I’ve definitely packed on some hibernation pounds this last winter…er…two years.

I’m also having a harder time than I thought I would managing my time with my kids all in school. I have an overwhelming list of things to do and several hours each day to do them. I have great organizing systems in place. But I have such little motivation to do the hard things on my list.

I wouldn’t call it a midlife crisis but it’s definitely a housewife crisis. I’ve always been a stay-at-home mom and now, for 6 hours a day, I’m a housewife… and a writer. No little kids to raise. Just a bunch of their crap strewn all over the house I feel the need to pick up, volunteer commitments, a ton of personal writing and blogging goals with no deadlines or accountability, and this feeling that I need to be contributing more financially but that I have no idea where to start. I wish I could just write and make money but it’s not that simple. There’s a little thing called marketing and I haven’t figured out how to do it yet.

And my next Drops of Awesome book is coming out and I love it, but when I have days like this I think… who am I to help people feel happy? I do not have everything figured out. I need Drops of Awesome thinking just as much as anyone who reads my stuff.

I ruminated on this for a couple of days. I’m writing books about this stuff and yet I still need Drops of Awesome thinking as much as anyone who reads my stuff. And I kept plugging away. Periodically weeping in the shower over my own inadequacy. Reaching out to friends. Driving to that stupid Weight Watchers meeting to weigh in, even though I knew my weight would be up… re: Snow Day Cinnamon Roll Gate 2017.

And then last night it hit me with full force. I NEED DROPS OF AWESOME THINKING JUST AS MUCH AS ANYONE WHO READS MY STUFF! Like I actually need it. Literally. I have to focus on it. I have to reboot my thinking patterns. That’s the way out of this hole.

It’s actually quite silly how often I come to this earth-shattering realization and recommit to being nice to myself and focusing on my wins. I am much more consistently good at reminding other people to turn off their negative voices than I am at turning off my own.

But last night I took a few minutes to think about what I’d done well that day and the day before, the awful waste of life day. And I found that I’d done quite a lot that I hadn’t given myself credit for. And I woke up this morning motivated and ready to face the day. A bit.

I was tired, but I decided to make a nice breakfast and then maybe lie down. But while I was making breakfast, I thought I might as well pack the kids’ lunches for them. And while I was at it, I loaded the breakfast dishes and washed the griddle. I have a tradition of leaving it out dirty for a day or two but I decided, what the heck?! And since I was awake and alert and, you know, cleaning griddles, I might as well sit down in my pajamas and type up this blog post. It was like that children’s book, If You Give A Dog a Drop of Awesome. It might come full circle to the point where I cook again tonight around dinner time. Crazy.

I’d like to say a word about friends. I need them. I talked and cried with a few different friends over the past few days and they listened to me. And helped me clean my kitchen. And offered to drive my kids to things so I could stay home and feel crappy about myself. And gave me hugs. And shared their stories of sadness and personal struggle. And they’re probably the reason I was able to figure this out and pull myself out of this self-created hole.

They didn’t tell me my sadness was irrational, although it probably was. They didn’t tell me to suck it up because I have a cushy life and have no right to feel sad. They were simply kind to me. And that sparked in me the desire to be kind to myself. And that’s what I needed.

Often when I’m feeling down or shameful or self-critical, I want to hide and be alone. But that’s never the answer. We need each other. And we need to see each other at our worst because it gives each of us a chance to be at our best and show love.

Which brings me back to Weezer. Why do any of us homies gotta front? Be real. Be Awesome. Be kind to yourself. It’s simple but it’s really hard sometimes. We can do this.

Bucket of Awesome – Ambassador Invitation

January 25, 2017 by Kathryn

***Update – The Bucket of Awesome Ambassador Program is drawing to a close, but please sign up below if you’d like to be on the mailing list for future updates and activities.***

It’s happening.

The third, and possibly most epic, Drops of Awesome book is almost here. It arrived at my publisher from the printer and hits shelves and interwebs March 7th! Sign up at the bottom for an early look at the book.

Bucket of Awesome: The Your-Life’s-More-Amazing-Than-You-Realize Guidebook has been in the works for over a year and I am really proud to share it with you. It’s a book with two purposes:

1. To improve your life by changing the way you tell your story.
2. To give you a framework and thought-provoking questions to help you record your personal history in an engaging and positive way.

Change your story by how you tell your story – Drops of Awesome style.

If this idea speaks to you like it yammers to me, I’d love to have you join our promotional team as an Ambassador of Awesome.

Ambassadors of Awesome for this project will receive an advance digital copy of the book and an invitation to join a closed Facebook group where we can share our Bucket of Awesome journeys and talk about our progress.

In return, you agree to receive email from me and the Familius team and help us get the word out about the book through participating in as many of the weekly missions as you can. I would love your help telling the world how Awesome they are. We’ve had so much fun as a team with the past two books. (As a side note, we are building the list from scratch so please sign up below if you’re interested in joining us, even if you helped us with a past project.)

Let’s fill these Buckets UP.

Select “Ambassador of Awesome” to join the team!

Bucket of Awesome – Childhood Firsts

October 15, 2016 by Kathryn

What Do You Know About Your Childhood Firsts?

What do you know about your early life? How about your childhood firsts?

What was your first word?

Your first foods?

How old were you when you reached your first major milestones? Were you an early or late walker? Did you talk much as a young child? How old were you when you lost your first tooth?

Today is almost like another list day, but you can add more details to these stories if you like. What other important childhood firsts can you think of?

**We can change our lives by how we tell our stories. Journal along with me as I excavate my past for the joy, the goodness, the Awesome. When we’re done, we’ll have a whole Bucket of Awesome, a story to inspire the people we love, and a brighter perspective of who we really are.**

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. This means, I may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase something from a link I post. Don’t worry, it costs you nothing but it helps keep the Awesome flowing. Thanks!

What’s Your Longshot?

October 10, 2016 by Kathryn

It’s not cool to admit this, but there are things in my life I don’t attempt or I attempt half-heartedly because I’m pretty sure I won’t succeed.

Weight loss is one. Growing my business online is another. Consistently making healthy breakfast for my kids is a big one. We are a cereal family most of the time. Cereal with a side of fruit for a sense of moral/nutritional superiority.

Sometimes I make lists about breakfast, but when 6:15 rolls around each morning, the chances of me following through grow slim.

There are so many things I avoid. Because success in these areas is difficult for me. Because nailing them would be a longshot.

And I’ve been thinking a lot about this for the past several days. Because I’ve found myself ALL-IN promoting a political candidate for public office for the first time. And this is very unlike me.

In the past, I’ve been quick to hide people from my Facebook and Twitter feed for posting too many political posts. I always vote. But privately and with dignity and respect for all the other parties and candidates.

But, if you looked at my social media feeds before October 5^th and then after, you’d probably think I’d been hacked by an unemployed 30-year-old man podcasting from his mother’s basement. It is all Evan McMullin all the time around here. I’ve taken my previously-underused Twitter account to new places, hashtagging the crap out of Evan McMullin and retweeting and liking anything that promotes his candidacy. I talk about algorithms and “retweet limits” and twitter strategy with my new online friends. Political nerdery and fanaticism is in full swing over here.

And Evan’s candidacy is a massive Hail-Mary play.

But I. Do. Not. Care. This process is reminding me that it feels good to do hard things, even if success doesn’t seem likely. Because, if we only fight the battles where victory is certain we’ll miss out on the victories that really matter.

And I want to apply this thinking to other areas of my life. I want to dig in and think about what I’m avoiding doing because I think it will be too hard or because I don’t think I can succeed.

Thomas Edison is quoted as saying, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

So, we won’t be successful unless we’re willing to push through the times where we’ve lost all hope of succeeding. We won’t be successful if we give up. And we have to be willing to do the right thing, even when, especially when, the odds are against us.

I believe that some of the most important undertakings begin not because they are bound to succeed but because someone feels bound to do the right thing.

What “right thing” in your life are you avoiding doing because you don’t think you can succeed? Can you try one more time? Can you stand up and make a change?

Breakfast. Tomorrow morning. Overnight oatmeal in the thermal cooker. Never surrender.

Bucket of Awesome – Journaling with Lists

October 8, 2016 by Kathryn

bucket-of-awesome-slider

Journaling with Lists

Let’s talk a bit today about the journaling or personal history process. It can be really overwhelming to sit down and just, “Tell Your Story.” Just like with any writing project, it’s easier to start with an outline before hammering out the entire thing.

With journaling, it can be helpful to start by making lists. Instead of writing a detailed description of all the places you ever lived, start by writing a list of places. This will give you something quick and easy to do so you can taste success and progress. It also sort of unlocks your brain and helps you remember things you may not have thought about in years.

Later, you can go back and sketch in details about each of those places or at least the ones that really matter to you.

Today, let’s make a few lists:

List the people who you consider to be true family. They may or may not all be actually related to you.
What towns or cities have you lived in?
Which foods do you love?

See? Easy peasy. You could fill these in later with reasons you love each of those family members, details about the towns and cities, and specific memories about those foods and how you came to love them.

But today, just make lists. And then eat some ice cream. But only if it’s one of the foods you love.

212 The Extra Degree: Extraordinary Results Begin with One Small Change

October 3, 2016 by Kathryn

Today, we start with a science lesson.

Water boils at 212 degrees. So, at 211 it’s just hot water. But at 212 it boils. And boiling water generates steam. Steam can power a locomotive.

That’s a huge difference with just one additional degree.

This is the premise of Sam Parker and Mac Anderson’s motivational book, 212 The Extra Degree: Extraordinary Results Begin with One Small Change. I read an advance copy this summer and it was a great, short read. The whole book is just 88 pages long but it left me feeling inspired and motivated to make a few tiny changes in my life.

Sound at all like Drops of Awesome to you? Me too! I really enjoyed this new analogy, one more way to think about how sometimes it’s just one tiny effort that can make all the difference.

In fact, the book has a similar resonance to 523 Ways to Be Awesome.

“How many opportunities have you missed because you were not aware of the possibilities that would occur if you applied a small amount of effort beyond what you normally do?”

I would add, how many times were you too defeated to apply more effort because you didn’t recognize how well you were already doing? Drops of Awesome.

The book contained short success stories and familiar quotes about courage and perseverance. One of my favorite was the famous quote by Thomas Edison, “Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

This quote resonates with me because I don’t always exhibit great stick-to-it-iveness and I often find myself wondering, what if I REALLY tried? What would happen then?

I comfort myself in my failures by saying, “If I’d REALLY tried, I could have been awesome at hip-hop dance, or filmmaking, or basket weaving. I just didn’t choose to give it my full effort.”

Sometimes committing fully is scary. What if I try my hardest and fail? Then there would be nothing left to give and I would know my best effort is not enough. That’s not something I want to know all the time.

Right now I’m standing on the edge of a situation like this.

I have written professionally for the past 10 years and I always told myself, “If I didn’t have kids at home… if I had more time… I would make writing a full-time career and I would be super successful.”

And now the kids are in school and I can still find all kinds of excuses to not go all-out with writing as a business. What they all boil down to is, I’m scared. I’m scared of spending the next few years working around the clock, only to fall on my face.

But reading this little book helped me crystalize something in my mind. I don’t have to worry about failure. I just need to turn up my effort by one tiny drop at a time, by one degree. And never give up. Or, at least if I give up tomorrow, then I need to un-give up the next day.

What are you afraid to commit to? A better relationship with your spouse? A community service goal? A career? Weight loss?

What could you accomplish if you stopped focusing on what-ifs and fears and started just focusing on increasing your effort? One degree.

Bucket of Awesome – Laughter

October 1, 2016 by Kathryn

Laughter and humor are a huge part of my life. I honestly don’t know who I’d be without them. A sadder person? Probably. A person with fewer wrinkles on my face? Definitely.

How would you describe your laugh?

When was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? Where were you and what set you off?

Who makes you laugh more than anyone else in the world? What is it about him or her that gives you the giggles?

A Few Things You Don’t Need

September 26, 2016 by Kathryn

We all need air, water, food, shelter… and possibly cheese. But there are a few things you don’t need in your life.

You don’t need to be perfect to lift someone else.

This blog is sometimes stressful for me. I started out telling stories about my kids. I know my kids. I know how to tell stories. It worked. But the kids are getting older and their stories are their own. There are fewer and fewer family stories we are all comfortable with me telling on the internet.

If I was going to keep writing, I needed a new direction. And I love writing. I love connecting with other women online. And that one guy who reads my site. I like connecting with him too. His name is Dan. And he lives in my house. Re: eternal matrimony.

The most shared post I’ve ever written is Drops of Awesome. So I decided to change domains and build a site based on the stories and ideas I shared in that post. I wanted a site that would tell people that they are enough, that all their small acts of good are overwhelmingly important, and that they can change who they are for the better with one tiny choice.

In theory, this sounds like a great idea for a website and I am completely passionate about this topic. However, I’m frequently intimidated by the prospect of sharing advice or ideas with women who I know could teach me so much.

I have to constantly remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect to lift someone else. If I didn’t struggle with feelings of inadequacy or discouragement, I probably couldn’t write so passionately about this topic.

None of us are perfect. And we all need each other. So I keep writing.

What are you passionate about? You can start now to share that passion with others, to teach them what you know.

Don’t wait until you’re perfect to reach out and lift someone else. We need your light and influence in the world.

You don’t need to know everything to do something.

I procrastinate. A lot. And although sometimes this is due to laziness, it’s more often due to perfectionism. I don’t want to start a project until I have all the materials, know everything about how to do it perfectly, and feel confident I will not fail.

I almost never meet all of those conditions.

And so the crap I bought to put in my 72-hour kits sits in a box in the garage until the diapers and pull-ups hardly even fit my 13-year-old anymore.

Well, last week I decided to believe my mantra – You don’t need to know everything to do something. I put away all the lists and plans and books about making 72-hour kits. I stopped by the grocery store for some food items and then just got out everything I had and threw it in backpacks.

It took two hours.

To complete a project I’d been procrastinating for 10 years.

Is it perfect? Nope. But it’s a lot better than what I’ve had for the past decade. Is there something you’ve been dying to do but you’re waiting to know everything and be perfect? Stuff that thinking in a dark hole somewhere and just get her done.

You don’t need a huge amount of time to make a difference.

I feel better when I serve someone, when I make a difference in someone’s life. But I don’t have time to start a charitable foundation today or even hand out food to the homeless.

Sometimes I need to remember that although I may not have time or capacity to make a difference with a thousand strangers, I can always make a difference to an individual.

Have you ever smiled at a child you don’t know in the elementary school office and seen her face light up? How about letting someone ahead of you in traffic? That might not save a life but it might restore the other driver’s faith in human kindness just a bit.

If you don’t have time to make a quilt for your niece’s birthday, send her a card. If you don’t have time to address and mail a card, text her or call her while you’re grocery shopping.

We are all busy. But some of the things that have made the biggest difference to me took almost no time at all. A text message telling me my friend was thinking about me all the way in Portland. An encouraging smile and nod from a neighbor who sat on the front row of my book talk and signing last weekend. Office staff who greet me warmly whenever I stop by the elementary school.

We can all do more of this junk. And it will feel amazing.