Archives for January 2007

I was recently babysitting for a friend’s daughter, an adorable little 2-year-old elf who can spell her 3-syllable last name perfectly.   She reminds me of a corporate executive in miniature with bulbous pig-tale buns, marching around the house and calling me by my last name. 

“Thompson!  Excuse me! What does this toy do?”

“Hey THOMPSON!  Excuse me! Where are you?”

I spent the morning laughing at her polite attempts at dictatorship and asking her to spell things and coach Magoo at football.

At one point she and Magoo got into a tiff about something in which one was yelling yes and the other was yelling no.  They stood about 5 inches apart, hollering at each other until they forgot whose job it was to say “yes” and who was rooting for “no” to win. 

Half an hour later, I was called onto the field or into the boardroom or whatever. 

Olive: Thompson!  Who’s in that picture?”
Me: Me and Laylee’s Dad.
Olive: What are you doing?
Me:  We’re drinking soda.
Olive:  But what are you doing, Thompson?
Me:  Drinking soda.
Olive:  No.  You’re kissing.
Me:  No we’re not.
Olive:  Yes.  You’re kissing.
Me:  No. [pulling the picture down]  See, we’re just drinking soda from two straws that are very close together.
Olive [eyeing the photo suspiciously]:  O-kaaay.

Then she was off with purposeful steps, her hair bouncing sweetly behind her.  My word! I need to get me a kid like that.  Acutally, I don’t need a kid like that.  I think I would die from the cuteness. 

Then Laylee punched her in the face.  I really hope her mom doesn’t mind large red facial welts.  She could have fallen asleep on her arm.  Sometimes that leaves a mark.  Ayayay.

I do want to point out my favorite parts of this picture, the parts no one notices, the reasons I still keep it framed in my front room.

#1 — The tadpole — This picture was taken right after I peed on a stick, saw a double pink line for the first time and announced it to my entire family.  What could be more romantic than that?  I bet you’d share a soda in public too if it happened to you.

#2 — This guy — He would not share a soda.  I love the horrified look on his face.  “Are they kissing?  At an outdoor theater?  Does this lawn chair come with a vomit receptacle?”

I now close my eyes tightly, throw a penny in our backyard puddle and wish that guy was available to make facial commentary in the background of all our family photos. 

-So, um, yeah.  I just stopped by Costco and happened to take this picture.  No I did not photoshop it.  That is my real parking spot!   AHH!!!  I know.  The best day ever.  I’ve still got it!

-Fairies are invisible and magic and their names are Laylee.  They wear very little in the way of clothing.  They appear to be cold, if I could see them, which I can’t, because they’re invisible.

-Laylee just told the baby we’re watching not to go into her castle and I’m pretty sure I heard Dan say, “Laylee, can you say ”˜nobody puts baby in a corner’?” and I loved him… and thought of Chris.

At BlogHer, our friends from Johnson and Johnson had nametags that said “Johnson’s Baby” and it became increasingly hilarious throughout the weekend to say things like, “Where did Johnson’s baby run off to?” or “Why are you sitting over there like that.  Nobody puts baby in a corner.”Â  I think it was the 10th or 35th time Chris said this that I began suspecting a life of adult diapers was in my future.

-Also, Brian has sweetly commented on the Hertz post and from the sound of things, he has not undergone any major surgery as a result of his ordeal.  He is a trooper (not with the state, just the chipper-young-lad variety).

When Magoo asks for a geek, I get him some jews.

When my friend’s daughter asks for her hippy, she prefers the valveless variety with no handles.

This morning Magoo is dining on jews, chi, and faffles.

What are some of your favorite childish mispronunciations?

 

Boomama has started a fund for Kelli who is in need of a kidney transplant.  If you have a spare minute and a dollar fifty from your couch cushions, go over and help her out.  Just click on the picture to read more about what you can do to help.