The world has been Thrilled once more.
Stranger Things are happening around here.
We could not love Potter more.
Happy Halloween!
Archives for October 2016
Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry… For Your Messy House
I’ve been passionate about this for years. If we’re friends in real life, chances are you’ve heard me talk about it. Why can’t we all just make a truce or realness? [read more at HowDoesShe.com]
Make America Engage Again – Santa, McMullin, and Me
I’ve often been asked, “How do you tell your kids that Santa isn’t real?”
Actually, I don’t.
As my kids mature, I just change the way we talk about Santa. When they’re little, they think of him as a powerful entity with endless resources and the ability to make their dreams come true.
Frustratingly, he doesn’t always use his powers to fulfill their fondest wishes. Sometimes he brings socks or a boring lunchbox. And they grieve. But their power is limited so they write letters and wait and hope for good things to happen.
But, as they grow, we have a frank discussion. Santa is real, but he’s not just one guy. He’s millions of people who use their time and resources to make magic happen. I’m Santa. They’re Santa. And they become actively engaged in spreading holiday joy.
It’s an earthshattering and exciting transition.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve experienced a similarly disruptive and thrilling change in the way I think about presidential elections.
As a moderate conservative, human person, who believes in equality and civility, I watched with horror as Donald Trump snagged the presidential nomination before the Washington State primary.
My last choice Democrat was running against my last choice Republican. And I felt completely powerless. It was like hiding and watching Santa fill my stocking with lima beans. Slowly. For months. And there was nothing I could do about it.
Because Santa is in control. And we say, “Thank you,” and move on.
I turned off the news. I blocked friends who posted political rants. I gave up.
The two major parties are like our parents, telling us that Santa is The Man, and we are welcome to write him letters but they probably won’t make much difference.
The major media outlets are like that mean kid in first grade who tells you there is no Santa.
In September I started hearing about Evan McMullin, an independent candidate who’s gaining ground quickly in Utah and other western states. I clicked on a link. And I could not stop clicking.
Evan McMullin actually has the momentum and credibility to say, “There is a Santa. And we’re all him. And if we work together, we can realign America with its founding principles.
His chances of winning the White House are slim. He needs to win enough electoral votes to stop both Trump and Clinton from reaching 270, sending the decision to the House.
It is the longest of longshots, but I have never seen anything like the groundswell of support that follows whenever he opens his mouth. Americans recognize truth. We crave it. And he’s in a virtual tie with Clinton and Trump in Utah and gaining supporters daily. In a tight race, that could be the ballgame. If the race isn’t tight, it still sends a clear message to the Republican Party that we demand candidates who reflect our values.
So, suddenly I transitioned from discouraged and apathetic to outspoken activist. Many of Evan’s supporters are people who have never taken a public stand politically, attended a rally, or drummed up political discussion at the bus stop. But, suddenly we are engaged and we are on fire.
And every day I hear, “A vote for McMullin is a vote for Clinton,” and “A vote for McMullin is a vote for Trump.” The truth is, when you realize your actual power as a voter, you can’t vote the odds anymore. You can’t practice statistical democracy.
A vote for Evan McMullin is a vote for civility, patriotism and a new generation of American leadership. A vote for Evan McMullin is a vote for Evan McMullin.
I don’t tell my kids there’s no Santa. I explain what Santa looks like to caring, engaged adults.
I won’t tell you there’s no hope for change in American politics. I’ll tell you what hope looks like to caring, engaged adults.
Hope looks like Evan McMullin and his millions of supporters who are proving it is possible to Make America Engage Again.
Bucket of Awesome – Childhood Firsts
What Do You Know About Your Childhood Firsts?
What do you know about your early life? How about your childhood firsts?
What was your first word?
Your first foods?
How old were you when you reached your first major milestones? Were you an early or late walker? Did you talk much as a young child? How old were you when you lost your first tooth?
Today is almost like another list day, but you can add more details to these stories if you like. What other important childhood firsts can you think of?
**We can change our lives by how we tell our stories. Journal along with me as I excavate my past for the joy, the goodness, the Awesome. When we’re done, we’ll have a whole Bucket of Awesome, a story to inspire the people we love, and a brighter perspective of who we really are.**
Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. This means, I may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase something from a link I post. Don’t worry, it costs you nothing but it helps keep the Awesome flowing. Thanks!
What’s Your Longshot?
It’s not cool to admit this, but there are things in my life I don’t attempt or I attempt half-heartedly because I’m pretty sure I won’t succeed.
Weight loss is one. Growing my business online is another. Consistently making healthy breakfast for my kids is a big one. We are a cereal family most of the time. Cereal with a side of fruit for a sense of moral/nutritional superiority.
Sometimes I make lists about breakfast, but when 6:15 rolls around each morning, the chances of me following through grow slim.
There are so many things I avoid. Because success in these areas is difficult for me. Because nailing them would be a longshot.
And I’ve been thinking a lot about this for the past several days. Because I’ve found myself ALL-IN promoting a political candidate for public office for the first time. And this is very unlike me.
In the past, I’ve been quick to hide people from my Facebook and Twitter feed for posting too many political posts. I always vote. But privately and with dignity and respect for all the other parties and candidates.
But, if you looked at my social media feeds before October 5th and then after, you’d probably think I’d been hacked by an unemployed 30-year-old man podcasting from his mother’s basement. It is all Evan McMullin all the time around here. I’ve taken my previously-underused Twitter account to new places, hashtagging the crap out of Evan McMullin and retweeting and liking anything that promotes his candidacy. I talk about algorithms and “retweet limits” and twitter strategy with my new online friends. Political nerdery and fanaticism is in full swing over here.
And Evan’s candidacy is a massive Hail-Mary play.
But I. Do. Not. Care. This process is reminding me that it feels good to do hard things, even if success doesn’t seem likely. Because, if we only fight the battles where victory is certain we’ll miss out on the victories that really matter.
And I want to apply this thinking to other areas of my life. I want to dig in and think about what I’m avoiding doing because I think it will be too hard or because I don’t think I can succeed.
Thomas Edison is quoted as saying, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
So, we won’t be successful unless we’re willing to push through the times where we’ve lost all hope of succeeding. We won’t be successful if we give up. And we have to be willing to do the right thing, even when, especially when, the odds are against us.
I believe that some of the most important undertakings begin not because they are bound to succeed but because someone feels bound to do the right thing.
What “right thing” in your life are you avoiding doing because you don’t think you can succeed? Can you try one more time? Can you stand up and make a change?
Breakfast. Tomorrow morning. Overnight oatmeal in the thermal cooker. Never surrender.
Bucket of Awesome – Journaling with Lists
Journaling with Lists
Let’s talk a bit today about the journaling or personal history process. It can be really overwhelming to sit down and just, “Tell Your Story.” Just like with any writing project, it’s easier to start with an outline before hammering out the entire thing.
With journaling, it can be helpful to start by making lists. Instead of writing a detailed description of all the places you ever lived, start by writing a list of places. This will give you something quick and easy to do so you can taste success and progress. It also sort of unlocks your brain and helps you remember things you may not have thought about in years.
Later, you can go back and sketch in details about each of those places or at least the ones that really matter to you.
Today, let’s make a few lists:
- List the people who you consider to be true family. They may or may not all be actually related to you.
- What towns or cities have you lived in?
- Which foods do you love?
See? Easy peasy. You could fill these in later with reasons you love each of those family members, details about the towns and cities, and specific memories about those foods and how you came to love them.
But today, just make lists. And then eat some ice cream. But only if it’s one of the foods you love.
**We can change our lives by how we tell our stories. Journal along with me as I excavate my past for the joy, the goodness, the Awesome. When we’re done, we’ll have a whole Bucket of Awesome, a story to inspire the people we love, and a brighter perspective of who we really are.**
Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. This means, I may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase something from a link I post. Don’t worry, it costs you nothing but it helps keep the Awesome flowing. Thanks!
My Responsibility – Teachers over Moms
Wanda was doing her homework on Monday which was, and I kid you not, telling her stuffed animals about her classroom job. The school is experimenting with moving toward a “no homework” model by giving them little tasks. These are tasks that in the past would have been undertaken without assignment by any normal human child back in the days before they all became tablet-slurping cyborgs.
So now we get lists of things she can do to act like a kid and communicate with “her stuffed animals” (Translation: parents) about what’s happening in the classroom.
With the tasks, comes a worksheet and on that worksheet is a line to write the student’s name.
Wanda looked at the sheet.
“Oh,” she said, “We’re supposed to put our name at the top.”
I smiled and nodded and kept working on digging through my email.
She held her hand out to me, palm-forward.
“No,” she said in a lofty tone, “I need to do it. It’s my responsibility.”
Ummm…okay. No one’s stopping you. I looked after her as she lifted her shoulders into her best possible posture, tossed her hair, and marched off to get a pencil.
I kept on with my email.
“You see, mom? I have a new trait. It’s called responsibility. We’re studying it at school.”
“That is awesome. Good for you.”
All day, she was focused on her responsibility.
I helped her find her missing shoes.
“Thanks for helping mom. But next time I should probably do it myself because it’s my responsibility.”
Laylee reached for one of Wanda’s dishes after dinner.
“NO!! That’s my responsibility.”
You’d think I had never once or ten THOUSAND times told Wanda to clear her own place at the table. No. This was new news. Her teacher had given her a new trait. For October. And that trait, my fellow Americans, is a little thing we like to call RE-SPON-SI-BILITY!
Maybe if I had a teaching degree I would be qualified to give her traits. Maybe.
The older kids, of course, found this hilarious and sweet. When Laylee taught our Family Night lesson about keeping journals, she made sure to look at Wanda with a grave expression and say, “We need to write in our journals. It’s our… responsibility.”
Wanda perked right up and nodded solemnly. She is now on the journal train.
So I started praising every good thing Wanda did as evidence of how responsible she was. I even noticed Laylee do something good and I called her out.
“Look how responsible Laylee is being! Nice job!”
Wanda looked perplexed.
“Wait,” she said, “Laylee has traits too?!”
Yes. Yes she does. But she’s not in Mrs. Boogaloo’s first grade class! I wonder where she got them!?
Why I’m Voting for Evan McMullin
If you’re not interested in reading a political post, come back tomorrow and I’ll have a funny post up about Wanda and a journaling post this weekend.
This is not a political blog. I don’t promote fiery rhetoric or enjoy causing friction. In fact, I generally prefer to keep my political views private. To me, the votes I cast are deeply personal and I discuss them only with a few close friends and my husband as we research together. I don’t do bumper stickers or lawns signs.
I also don’t tend to douse innocent strangers with buckets of water. However, if I see a person whose hair is on fire, I’ll happily throw some liquid to put her out.
America’s hair is on fire.
So, today on the blog, I’m dumping out my bucket, right here on the blog. I’m telling you who I’m voting for. You may not have heard of him.
His name is Evan McMullin.
I hadn’t heard about Evan McMullin until recently. I’m not a news junkie and I’m so sick at heart about this presidential election that when I see a link to a story about the race, I’ve gotten to the point where I scroll past quickly.
But, in the past week I’ve seen several links from dear friends about Evan McMullin, a new third-party candidate for president. My first thought was, “This is a stunt.” Next, “This is a joke.” And finally, “This guy is just trying to split the conservative vote so Trump can’t win.”
That last thought was mildly interesting because I really desperately don’t want Trump to win, so I followed one of the links.
Evan McMullin’s tagline is – It’s never too late to do the right thing.
And I spent an entire day watching video interviews and reading news stories about a man who I now deeply want to be the next president of the United States.
His chances are epically slim. All the better for the made-for-TV movie script after he wins, right? Maybe Sean Astin can play him.
Evan McMullin doesn’t sound like a politician. Because he’s not one.
He DOES sound intelligent, thoughtful, fair-minded, well-spoken, and earnest. He sounds kind. He sounds measured and calm but also firm and commanding. He sounds like not a narcissist or a racist. He sounds like someone who deeply wants to unite a divided country.
He is around my age. He’s 40.
He graduated from BYU with a degree in international law and diplomacy, working for the CIA as he completed his undergrad. He was an undercover CIA operative in major world conflict zones for 11 years. He has first-hand experience meeting with and fighting against terrorists and has a strong knowledge of world events, leaders, and people. He is well-versed in the constitution and fiercely devoted to protecting it.
He also received his MBA from The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. He’s worked in business. And most recently, Evan McMullin served as the chief policy director of the House Republican Conference.
Why did he get involved?
He can’t bear to see what’s happening in this presidential election. I know very few people who are excited about either major party candidate. Many are terrified of one or both of them.
I disagree with Hillary Clinton on most issues and I don’t trust her. Donald Trump’s presidency would be an unprecedented disaster for our country. He would embarrass us daily. He is unstable and unfit and I don’t believe our country, as we know it, would be left when he was done with it.
I’m an independent and have voted for people from both major parties over the years but my views are largely conservative. There generally isn’t a perfect candidate for me.
But I think Evan McMullin is that candidate. He sees himself as an American first. Then a conservative. Party loyalty comes after that. I know it sounds like a line but when he says it, I believe him.
For a more detailed view of his stances on issues, watch one of the videos posted below.
How can Evan McMullin Win?
He says he waited and waited in this election for someone with national name recognition to join the race, to step up and offer a third option, a viable option. When he reached out to contacts to ask if he could help in any way with an independent candidate running for office, they asked him to run.
He is only officially on the ballot of 11 states and eligible as a write-in in 20+ others and counting. Word is, he will soon be a valid write-in in my state, Washington.
His most realistic path to victory would be to win one or two states in a close election, causing Clinton and Trump to both miss the 270 electoral votes needed to win the presidency. There are 528 total votes. If that were to happen, the decision would go to the House of Representatives.
He believes he could win in a three-way contest with Trump and Clinton because his platform is closely aligned with Paul Ryan and other Republicans in congress.
Evan McMullin’s bid for the presidency is the longest of longshots.
But he’s a spark of hope in an election that has been a long, dark road for many Americans.
People have asked me how I can vote for someone who has such a low chance of winning. I don’t think that should even be a question. When I vote, I don’t look for who’s most likely to win and then jump on that train. When I vote, I vote for the person who most closely shares my values and who I feel would do the best job.
I live in a blue state. Our electoral votes will most definitely go to Hillary Clinton. They always go to a democrat. So, does that mean I always vote democrat? No. I vote for the person who I believe could best lead our country. Every time.
And I don’t always feel passionate about the candidate I vote for.
This year there’s a candidate I feel passionate about.
Women fought for years for the right to vote. And so many others around the world do not have that option. I will not throw away my gift by voting “against” someone or choosing the “lesser of two evils.”
This November, I am writing in “Evan McMullin” for president. And I’m voting the heck out of my local elections. Because there are good people in Washington State who are stepping up to serve and have a great chance of winning on a local level.
It’s never too late to do the right thing.
If you’re interested in what Evan McMullin is doing, check out his website and join the movement!
**This blog is a place of love, respect, and encouragement. If you violently disagree and want to flame, feel free to do it somewhere else. I’m happy to have respectful discussion, but I will delete anything inflammatory or hateful.**
212 The Extra Degree: Extraordinary Results Begin with One Small Change
Today, we start with a science lesson.
Water boils at 212 degrees. So, at 211 it’s just hot water. But at 212 it boils. And boiling water generates steam. Steam can power a locomotive.
That’s a huge difference with just one additional degree.
This is the premise of Sam Parker and Mac Anderson’s motivational book, 212 The Extra Degree: Extraordinary Results Begin with One Small Change. I read an advance copy this summer and it was a great, short read. The whole book is just 88 pages long but it left me feeling inspired and motivated to make a few tiny changes in my life.
Sound at all like Drops of Awesome to you? Me too! I really enjoyed this new analogy, one more way to think about how sometimes it’s just one tiny effort that can make all the difference.
In fact, the book has a similar resonance to 523 Ways to Be Awesome.
“How many opportunities have you missed because you were not aware of the possibilities that would occur if you applied a small amount of effort beyond what you normally do?”
I would add, how many times were you too defeated to apply more effort because you didn’t recognize how well you were already doing? Drops of Awesome.
The book contained short success stories and familiar quotes about courage and perseverance. One of my favorite was the famous quote by Thomas Edison, “Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
This quote resonates with me because I don’t always exhibit great stick-to-it-iveness and I often find myself wondering, what if I REALLY tried? What would happen then?
I comfort myself in my failures by saying, “If I’d REALLY tried, I could have been awesome at hip-hop dance, or filmmaking, or basket weaving. I just didn’t choose to give it my full effort.”
Sometimes committing fully is scary. What if I try my hardest and fail? Then there would be nothing left to give and I would know my best effort is not enough. That’s not something I want to know all the time.
Right now I’m standing on the edge of a situation like this.
I have written professionally for the past 10 years and I always told myself, “If I didn’t have kids at home… if I had more time… I would make writing a full-time career and I would be super successful.”
And now the kids are in school and I can still find all kinds of excuses to not go all-out with writing as a business. What they all boil down to is, I’m scared. I’m scared of spending the next few years working around the clock, only to fall on my face.
But reading this little book helped me crystalize something in my mind. I don’t have to worry about failure. I just need to turn up my effort by one tiny drop at a time, by one degree. And never give up. Or, at least if I give up tomorrow, then I need to un-give up the next day.
What are you afraid to commit to? A better relationship with your spouse? A community service goal? A career? Weight loss?
What could you accomplish if you stopped focusing on what-ifs and fears and started just focusing on increasing your effort? One degree.
Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. This means, I may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase something from a link I post. Don’t worry, it costs you nothing. Thank you for supporting my website!
Bucket of Awesome – Laughter
Laughter and humor are a huge part of my life. I honestly don’t know who I’d be without them. A sadder person? Probably. A person with fewer wrinkles on my face? Definitely.
How would you describe your laugh?
When was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? Where were you and what set you off?
Who makes you laugh more than anyone else in the world? What is it about him or her that gives you the giggles?
**We can change our lives by how we tell our stories. Journal along with me as I excavate my past for the joy, the goodness, the Awesome. When we’re done, we’ll have a whole Bucket of Awesome, a story to inspire the people we love, and a brighter perspective of who we really are.**
Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. This means, I may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase something from a link I post. Don’t worry, it costs you nothing but it helps keep the Awesome flowing. Thanks!