Archives for May 2007

1. The cleanliness of my car in no way determines its ability to smell like poop. I could take a brand new car off the lot and if I put my kids inside, within 10 minutes the new car smell will be changed to something more… natural.

2. Every time I walk into my bedroom, an angel gets his wings. The tiny little metal pieces on my bedside lamp jiggle and tinkle as I walk across the floor and I smile.

3. I didn’t care much that Laylee’s bedroom door locked from the inside with a keyhole on the outside for which I had no key, until she locked it for the first time.

4. Shannon once told me that my northern accent gives me street cred.

5. Even if I didn’t want kids, I may have had them anyway just so I could drive in the HOV lane.

6. The first time Laylee had the stomach flu, I brought her a barf bucket and said, “If ye’re gonna spew, spew into this.” She was not amused.

7. Once I rented a video of housekeeping tips by Heloise. She can make her bed with her legs before she even gets out of it in the morning. Dan and I have been trying to master this skill for years. We call it “Heloising” the bed.

These random facts brought to you by Beth.

Dan and I have been going to occasional marriage therapy for the last year. It started with post partum Issues I was having and continues from time to time because it’s just so darn much fun to find a babysitter and sit in a room with Dan and a practical stranger who happens to be prodding us along to talk about our deepest feelings and most personal insecurities.

Sometimes we go in with troubles to talk about and sometimes we find things we’re troubled about because we’re sitting in a room talking about all the reasons we might be troubled and we think, “Hey! Didn’t you eat the last pack of pink YOGOS?!”

Yesterday was fun because I was being a brat. “I think it’s really insensitive that you didn’t notice me tossing and turning last night because you were asleep. I obviously need a new pillow and you did nothing about it.”

Dan got a funny look on his face and said, “I have a present for you out in the car.” Hmmm.

I guess I’ve talked about the Wonder Pillow at Costco one or fifty times in the last few months so Dan had purchased it for me and was hiding it away in the trunk of his car for the next occasion to present itself. Consider an occasion presented.

The therapist waved at us through the window as Dan pulled out the surprise. Point — husband.

It’s okay. I was a winner too. I got a good night’s sleep and during the session I made a wisecrack that caused our therapist to laugh so hard he almost stopped breathing. That has to count for something.

Oh, and I got to take Dan home with me and keep him. Mmmmmm.

Laylee wants fresh water for her dandelion flower. She NEEDS clear water for her dandelion flower. The dirty water in the kiddy pool out back is completely and not even a little bit not unsuitable for the growth and well-being of dandelion flowers. Dandelion flowers must never never touch dirt.

I told her that flowers live in dirt. They love dirt. Anyway, we could just pressure wash the dandelion flowers if they get too dirty.

She is busy saving worms from being squished by the rocks under which they live. Magoo is busy taking those rocks and throwing them at the worms who have just been saved. But I’m not worried about the rocks that he’s got. He’s still, he’s still Magooly from the block.

The other night at dinner Laylee told Magoo, “You are ODD.” She then looked at me like she was gonna be in huge trouble and added, “and I CARE about you.”

At bedtime every night Laylee invents a new song which she sings in an almost silent vibrato for several minutes. Then she asks Dan and I to sing it back to her. We sing some words, making them up as we go along and she applauds our efforts.

My sister Meg thinks we sound like these guys. (Be sure to listen to This Book is So Awesome and Save Ginny Weasley. Their tour schedule is on the site and many of the concerts are free. You should go check them out if they’re coming your way. And their little friends too, particularly My Dad is Rich.)

Driving through at the bank Laylee asked me, “Where is this place?” I told her it was the bank. “This is not the bank,” she said, “This is McDonalds.”

It’s sort of like McDonalds only instead of a green plastic toy, I get a green paper stack in my “happy meal.”

Magoo recently turned 2 and I honestly feel that there’s nothing terrible about him.

He loves blankets ferociously and sleeps with 6 or 8 tucked around him like a little nest. He still has fat in all the right squidging places but is stretching upwards so that he’s beginning to look like a Real Boy.

I have a hard time recognizing him without food on his face and I’m sure he finds me similarly unidentifiable without matching food on my shoulder. He loves hugs. It’s one of his many chants. “A hug, a hug, a hug, A HUG!!!!” The others include but are not limited to:

Mo mo cheece! (more more cheese — it doesn’t matter if his last cheese was 5 minutes or 5 weeks ago, he always begins the discussion as though he had just swallowed his latest bite.)
Wook, wook, wook, wook! (LOOK!)
My BAKE-IT! (blanket)
and
I got it!

Yeah, he’s got it.

He is often very concerned and has highly expressive eyebrows.

His head precedes his feet by at least a foot when he’s running. He is always running. Unless he’s falling down.

He wants to mosh with life. He wants to experience everything.

He loves his sister greatly. He may love airplanes more. He still prays for shoes several times a day. He begs to use the potty but never goes. He uses his head to catch his fall, afraid of damaging his hands.

Hands are for scooping peanut butter and for smearing… various things.

Each night at bedtime he makes an inventory of his various visible body parts and will not sleep until all of them have been solemnly kiss-ed.

Throughout the day, he peeks behind couches, boxes and piles of laundry, looking and asking for Daddy, sure he’ll pop up at any moment and mourning his absence.

He can eat more than Dan.

He feels things more deeply than me and cries when Laylee is sad.

He is a tender little man, growing up too quickly. I felt a sweetness about him before he was ever born but I never imagined how my soul would light up every time I saw his little round face and chubby knuckles.

I know that even when all the baby fat has melted away, I’ll always be able to look into his blue eyes and see my little buddy.