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Personal Blog of Author Kathryn Thompson

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Archives for June 2006

The Good

June 29, 2006 by Kathryn

house10I’ve decided that buying a house is a lot like having kids. When you decide to do it, everyone tells you what a big fat hairy adjustment it is, how much work and added responsibility it will require but that it’s totally worth it.

You think, “I’m sure it was a big adjustment for you because you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. I, on the other hand, have read What to Expect the first 10 Years For Every Personality Type, Secrets of a Woman Who Talks Very Softly to Small Children, Logical Love, and On Being Midget-Knowledgeable from cover to cover. I KNOW what I’m doing. I’ll actually get more done once the baby’s born because she’ll sleep all the time and I’ll have so much more energy once I’m not pregnant anymore.”

Then they’re born and you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck. What!? This was NOT what I expected. Yes, there are the sublime moments but those people were right. It is a TON of work. The work seems never to end. Your life will never be the same again and you have moments where you ask yourself, “Why did we do this to ourselves again?” The answer quickly comes and you know you would never go back on your decision, but you’d be lying to yourself if you said it wasn’t hard.

house2That is so much the way it’s been with this house so far. We’ve been here a week, spent thousands of dollars repairing things, buying new appliances, and lawn equipment. Add to all this the heat and the fact that a gelatinous blob of goob has taken over the upper third of my body and you’ve got a pretty rough week. (I’m really starting to wonder how I can blow my nose this many times. Where do I store all the goob? Is my brain so small that I can fit that much junk in my head?)

house5Then Karli came over a couple of days ago and helped me rediscover the things I love about my yard and house. She’s the kind of friend you need when you move into a new home. I will lend her out to you for a small fee. She pointed out every good thing about the floorplan and finishes. Then she took me on a tour of our wild backyard that I haven’t had time to explore.

house1Little Miss Horticulture discovered ripe strawberries, raspberries and blackberry vines. She found several rose bushes in full bloom, hidden behind the overgrown bamboo. I have an herb garden with dill and rosemary. There are morning glories, lilacs, lavender and a billion other gorgeous flowers.

house7

This is the view from my bed in the morning.

house11

This is what I see from my back fence.

house3

Here is my hearth.

house8

Where the cactuses will live.

house9

The red doors.

house6

And I’m glad we bought it. And I’m tired. And I’d love ideas for how to de-goob my head and lungs.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Tip Tuesday — Cool It

June 27, 2006 by Kathryn

Monday was another scorching hot day in rural Seattle with highs reaching into the low 90s.

Thou darest to call me a wuss?

Ha HA! Well it may seem a bit more scorcherific if you picture unpacking boxes all day in a house with no window screens that backs onto a lovely bug and Bambi infested forest. Seeing as we don’t want Bambi or the killer flies to enter our domicile, we kept the windows closed most of the day and let the sun bake us to a crisp.

Two weeks until the window screen maker guys can come out. We may try to make some of our own tomorrow. The Home Depot home improvement specialist did indicate that a hacksaw would be involved so I’ll keep you updated on the status of my appendages… not those ones!

And now for another installment of Conversations with Laylee:

Driving in the car
Laylee: AAAAHHHH!!!!!
Me: What!?
Laylee: That guy’s head is blowing all around in the wind!
Me [frantically looking, expecting to see some guy’s head hanging out the window, bobbing around like a balloon on a string in a wind-tunnel]: Where?

Just then, an older gentleman passed me on the left, driving a vintage convertible, his silver hair gently rustling in the breeze, like he was posing for a Vogue for Old Guys in Convertibles cover-shoot.

Laylee: That’s so FUNNY. His car has no lid on top of it!

Today please give tips for keeping cool this summer. First, I would suggest taking the lid off your van or at the very least cranking the air conditioning and blasting Bob Marley on your stereo. Also, don’t move (at all… just remain seated) if it’s hot where you live and try not to wear any clothes.

Man I wish I could still run around like a little muffin-bum in a diaper and a onesie.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

And I Never Got to Say Goodbye

June 26, 2006 by Kathryn

This doesn’t smell like my house. There are new weeds growing since we got the keys on Thursday and there are no condo association “guys” to come and obliterate them. We are the guys.

We’re also the guys who need to replace the refrigerator tomorrow. Crazy thing about us, we like freezers that FREEZE food. We also like outlets that provide power. Hence a call has been made to the electrician.

I have discovered that I have a “bum-leg”. It is my right leg and it doesn’t look like a bum. If I’m using that expression properly, I think it means that it just hurts a lot when I threaten to do something that smells of work. What a weird expression. I guess I could also say I have a “bum-finger” and a “bum-back”. But I wouldn’t risk saying “bum” anything to Laylee.

Yesterday I told her I was “pooped” and you can only imagine the hilarity that ensued. It was somewhat close to the Chaucerian 12-year-old-boyish delight I experienced when I found a typo online a couple of years ago about a disabled man who had been confined to a wheelchair after he was tragically “shat”. I can imagine that would do the body some damage.

The backyard is wonderful. Bamboo is taking over the world.

I actually packed dirty dishes and dirty laundry and I’m pretty sure I haven’t found them yet. I think they’re in a garbage bag somewhere with my brain… and possibly my digital camera. It may be a while before I post pictures of the house. I haven’t seen it since we got home from Houston (the camera, not the house).

I still feel like we made the right decision and this will be “home” someday, the home where our kids will spend a good portion of their growing-up years. But at this very moment it feels like some interlopers are about to honeymoon in my home and as I went to say goodbye to the old pad, I realized I had locked myself out with “their” keys to “their” new condo on the counter inside with a note welcoming them.

Yeah…”welcome”… and so help me if you don’t treat her well.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Good News

June 23, 2006 by Kathryn

We have more cupboards than I remembered from our original viewing of the house. I just spent almost 5 hours putting shelf paper down in the kitchen.

Dog food and spaghetti sauce spills in the cupboards. Yick!

On a sadder note, we may all be kicking the bucket at any moment.

I was talking to Laylee about how, starting this weekend, we will live in the new house forever. She replied, “Except we all get to die sometime.”

Me: Yep, but then we can get resurrected.
Laylee: YEAH! And then our bodies and our spirits will get STUCK together.
Me: That’s pretty special.
Laylee: Yeah, cause we need our bodies to dance… and clap our hands… and eat food. When we die, all the food goes out of us but then when we get all stuck together again the food goes BACK in our bodies.

I was thinking of asking her to explain what exactly happens physiologically when all the stuckage occurs but by the time I got around to asking, she had moved on to a discussion of how exciting it was that the clouds were moving in the same direction as our car. “Aren’t we so LUCKY!?”

She got a little lucky herself this afternoon, holding hands with a boy for the first time.

hands

Filed Under: Faith

Be a dear, would you?

June 18, 2006 by Kathryn

Pick me up some apple boxes while you’re at the grocer. We’re moving, you see…

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Deet Lips are Not for Kissing

June 15, 2006 by Kathryn

A couple of nights ago, my mom put her arm around me and said quietly, “The pool is perfect. There’s a romantic full moon out and I’m going to bed now with my blinds shut and my door closed. Goodnii-iight.”

“Hm,” says I. “Who am I to argue with a parentally endorsed late night swimming smooch-fest? This must be pursued… if Dan would care to participate.”

IF… ha ha ha.

So I strut past my fine and lovely computer-hacking husband in my super-hot $15 Wal-Merto bathing suit with a raise of the eyebrows that can only mean one thing:

“Care to join me for a mysterious and enchanted evening of mystery and mysterious romance where we pretend that we’ve just met poolside at an exotic resort, that we do not spend our days reminding midgets to say please, our evenings pretending to like mushrooms as not to turn the midgets into picky eaters and our nights typing side-by-side on our laptops or sleeping and that you haven’t watched me give birth to 2 children, one the size of a smallish adult manatee?”

You know the eyebrow raise I’m talking about, right ladies? Word.

So, I lounge by the side of the pool, tossing my hair from side to side and trying to decide which is my “good leg.” Should I cross right over left or left over right? I look up at the enchanted moon when, WHAT THE FLYING HECK??!!

That’s right, a piece of flying heck had attached itself to my arm and was sucking the blood from my body — and he’d brought friends. I was suddenly in a swarm. I made a very unladylike leap into the water just as Dan came out to join me, all be-swimming-trunked and manly.

So he didn’t get to see me lounging in the moonlight. Ah well. At least we could go for a romantic swim… except OUCH! I was itching all over. I had several bites all over my body and the mosquitoes were still flying around my head trying to attack. Every time Dan would come near, I’d flail my arm up to fight off another blood-sucking insurgent.

I got out of the pool, retrieved the Deep Woods Mega Deet spray and covered both our heads with it, paying close attention to my face. Too close.

lipsDo you know what happens when you kiss someone with deet on your lips? Deet gets on their lips and seeps into their mouth so that each time they kiss you, they pull away in disgust and spit spastically into the pool. The kissing somehow activates the deet, making your lips go numb and possibly swell up to Angelina-like proportions. You fear death is imminent, so you then rethink your plans for the evening.

Dan: You up for eating some more mushrooms?
Me: Please?
Dan: Oh yeah, sorry. Please.
Me: Sounds good. [SMACK] AAAH!! They’re eating me alive!
Dan: You know how much I LOVE mushrooms!
Me: I can’t feel my lips.
Dan: I’ll get the laptops.
Me: Okay, don’t forget the extra pillow for under my knees.
Dan: Please?
Me: Oh yeah, sorry. Please.

Filed Under: Love and Marriage

More Doom, Sleepy Teeth and the Careening Psychobot

June 13, 2006 by Kathryn

rides2Everywhere we go, Laylee begs for “more doom please.” Sadly, she’s not tall enough to experience anything but the most juvenile form of doom. At the Houston Aquarium they have a miniature Drop of Doom with some pansy name like “The Magic Lighthouse” or something else equally inane. Luckily the girl can’t read so I introduced it to her as “The Drop of Doom” and to the protestations of Dan and Grammy I took her for a ride.

Why they would be concerned about her dropping in 2 story freefall repeatedly, I’ll never know. She almost didn’t have a meltdown on the seahorse merry-go-round so I thought she was certainly ready to try out something a little more adventurous. As per usual, I was correct.

Her commentary as we rode the ride one billion times consisted of 2 phrases repeated over and over again. “Hold tight to me Mommy” and “Again Please.”

Now everywhere we go, she’s on the lookout. “More doom PLEASE!” I’ll see what I can conjure up for you, sweet pea.

Due to the fact that Grammy and Papa are much smarter than Mom and Dad, sweet pea Laylee has developed some added creativity in her parental manipulation techniques.

After over an hour of swimming:
Papa: Okay kiddo, I think it’s time to get out.
Laylee: I don’t think so.
Papa: Oh really? Come on.
Laylee: No, my clock says it’s not time to get out.
Papa: You don’t have a clock.
Laylee: Yes I do.
Papa: Where is it?
Laylee: It’s right here. (pointing to a wet spot on the pool deck)
Papa: Oh really, and what does it say?
Laylee: It says it’s not time to get out yet.

Then last night at dinner, Laylee informed us that she needed to spit out the green bean in her mouth because her teeth were too tired to chew it. “My teeth are SO sleepy.” Yah-huh? Well, my uvula’s practically been in a coma for 3 weeks now and you don’t see me complaining. Chew the darn green bean.

Being out here in the Bible belt, Magoo’s picked up some added religiosity. Since we’ve been in Texas with Grammy and Papa, he’s not only learned to fold his arms for prayer but he has also been healed. Yes folks, he who was lame can now walk, or at least careen around like a flailing psychobot.

Video Hosting – Upload Video – Video Sharing

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Tip Tuesday — Vacation Planning

June 13, 2006 by Kathryn

vac frostingIt’s the summer. I’m on vacation. It appears that many of you are on vacation now or are soon to head out on your own adventures. What are your tried and true methods for making sure things go smoothly in your travels? HA HA! We all know that’s not possible. So, how do you at least minimize the chaos? (Laylee calls the sunscreen “frosting”)

Here are a few tips from the DYM:

1. Always refer to yourself in the third person, hopefully in acronym form, while on vacation.

2. Pack a separate bag for each person, regardless of the size (of the person or the bag). This way you’ll have less chance of your three year old wearing your infant’s full-length jeans as capri pants.

3. If you’re staying for longer than 5 days, unpack your clothes and organize them if storage is available.

4. Don’t forget your swimsuit if your parents have a pool in their backyard and end up buying the least nappy suit left on the picked-over racks at Wal-Merto.

5. Make the lists. First do a master list of items each person will need (ex. Pez Dispensers). Then create a list of items specific to the individuals (ex. Snow white attire). Make a list of group-use items (ex. Squeegee). List items for carry-on luggage. Lastly, make a list of things you will need to grab last minute as you leave the house.

6. Bring all pertinent house-selling and buying info with you, if you plan to close on two house deals the week you get back in town.

vac bag7. For the plane ride, pack a bag with lots of easily accessible pockets. Memorize the contents of the pockets so you can reach down and grab a wipe, a headset, or a goldfish (I choose the cracker variety) in 2 seconds or less. Mary Poppins’s bag may look cool, holding all that stuff, but think how long it took her to find anything in there. What seatmate, including your child, is gonna put up with a pole lamp on their lap while you dig around for the duct tape?

8. Have fun and share your secrets here.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

“I’m so lucky that my timeout is not in a box.”

June 11, 2006 by Kathryn

Lessons learned from watching the Stanley Cup finals with Daddy and Papa.

Next up – the finer points of cross-checking.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Meme’n Weekend

June 10, 2006 by Kathryn

d hearts kWhen I downloaded the photos from the trip so far, I found this little piece of artwork, created by Daniel to make me swoon. It worked. It also reminded me of the shmoopy meme JD tagged me for a while back:

Two for Togetherness
Two things you compliment your husband on while in his presence:
1. His eyes.
2. His sweetness.
Two compliments you make about your spouse to your friends:
1. He is a genius.
2. He is amazingly patient with me.
Two traits you married him/her for:
1. His amazing white T-shirt collection
2. He remembered my name
3. His amazing human-spell-checker skills
Two days you cherished the most with your husband being together:
1. The day I looked like a piece of cheese.
2. The night we decided to get married. We were kneeling across from each other holding hands late at night. I didn’t want him to leave my apartment and go home. “What are we going to do about this?” I asked. He had a good answer
(Of course our wedding day and the birth of our children were kind of nice too.)
Two material things you could give your husband if you just inherited a fortune:
1. The saxophone of his dreams, complete with personal recording studio
2. All the photography equipment he could ever dream of, complete with Mac G-5 to edit the photos.
Two things you would miss the most if she/he left for two weeks:
1. His calming influence. I know it’s hard to imagine, but I’m a bit of a spaz.
2. His toes in bed with me
Two thoughts that crossed your mind when you first met/saw your spouse:
1. “This skinny white guy speaks Chinese? This, I must see.”
2. “I could marry him.” This is true. I have documented proof.
Two favorite dates:
1. Valentine’s Day lunch at the Space Needle
2. Trip to the local Pottery Painting shop to make the You Are Special plate
Two funny odd things you love:
1. Seriously, none of it seems odd anymore.
Two places you have lived with your spouse:
1. Provo, UT
2. Puget Sound, WA
Two favorite vacations:
1. Cape May, NJ — beach vacation/family reunion
2. Christmas 2005 when we got to see everyone from both of our families

While I’m at it, I think I’ll play along with Cheerios on My Butt over at Children and Cheerios on the Loose.

Turn On’s and Off’s

What is your favorite word?
Cheese

What is your least favorite word?
That I can say on this blog? MOMMY! — when said with a shrieking whine

What turns you on spiritually,creatively,emotionally?
spiritually — music or silence
creatively — clean and organized space
emotionally — service, music, my children

What turns you off?
WHINING and rudeness

What’s your favorite curse word?
For the LOVE!

What sound or noise do you love to hear?
Dan’s key in the front door lock as he comes home from work.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Okay, I think I’ll get in trouble if I say WHINING one more time. So… um… persistent whining, accompanied by pulling on the hem of my clothes.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Documentary film director or museum designer/curator.

What profession would you not like to do?
Massage therapist

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say at the pearly gates?
SWEET! Welcome. Well done.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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