Aspirations

A Few Things You Don’t Need

September 26, 2016 by Kathryn

We all need air, water, food, shelter… and possibly cheese. But there are a few things you don’t need in your life.

You don’t need to be perfect to lift someone else.

This blog is sometimes stressful for me. I started out telling stories about my kids. I know my kids. I know how to tell stories. It worked. But the kids are getting older and their stories are their own. There are fewer and fewer family stories we are all comfortable with me telling on the internet.

If I was going to keep writing, I needed a new direction. And I love writing. I love connecting with other women online. And that one guy who reads my site. I like connecting with him too. His name is Dan. And he lives in my house. Re: eternal matrimony.

The most shared post I’ve ever written is Drops of Awesome. So I decided to change domains and build a site based on the stories and ideas I shared in that post. I wanted a site that would tell people that they are enough, that all their small acts of good are overwhelmingly important, and that they can change who they are for the better with one tiny choice.

In theory, this sounds like a great idea for a website and I am completely passionate about this topic. However, I’m frequently intimidated by the prospect of sharing advice or ideas with women who I know could teach me so much.

I have to constantly remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect to lift someone else. If I didn’t struggle with feelings of inadequacy or discouragement, I probably couldn’t write so passionately about this topic.

None of us are perfect. And we all need each other. So I keep writing.

What are you passionate about? You can start now to share that passion with others, to teach them what you know.

Don’t wait until you’re perfect to reach out and lift someone else. We need your light and influence in the world.

You don’t need to know everything to do something.

I procrastinate. A lot. And although sometimes this is due to laziness, it’s more often due to perfectionism. I don’t want to start a project until I have all the materials, know everything about how to do it perfectly, and feel confident I will not fail.

I almost never meet all of those conditions.

And so the crap I bought to put in my 72-hour kits sits in a box in the garage until the diapers and pull-ups hardly even fit my 13-year-old anymore.

Well, last week I decided to believe my mantra – You don’t need to know everything to do something. I put away all the lists and plans and books about making 72-hour kits. I stopped by the grocery store for some food items and then just got out everything I had and threw it in backpacks.

It took two hours.

To complete a project I’d been procrastinating for 10 years.

Is it perfect? Nope. But it’s a lot better than what I’ve had for the past decade. Is there something you’ve been dying to do but you’re waiting to know everything and be perfect? Stuff that thinking in a dark hole somewhere and just get her done.

You don’t need a huge amount of time to make a difference.

I feel better when I serve someone, when I make a difference in someone’s life. But I don’t have time to start a charitable foundation today or even hand out food to the homeless.

Sometimes I need to remember that although I may not have time or capacity to make a difference with a thousand strangers, I can always make a difference to an individual.

Have you ever smiled at a child you don’t know in the elementary school office and seen her face light up? How about letting someone ahead of you in traffic? That might not save a life but it might restore the other driver’s faith in human kindness just a bit.

If you don’t have time to make a quilt for your niece’s birthday, send her a card. If you don’t have time to address and mail a card, text her or call her while you’re grocery shopping.

We are all busy. But some of the things that have made the biggest difference to me took almost no time at all. A text message telling me my friend was thinking about me all the way in Portland. An encouraging smile and nod from a neighbor who sat on the front row of my book talk and signing last weekend. Office staff who greet me warmly whenever I stop by the elementary school.

We can all do more of this junk. And it will feel amazing.

Do Something Good

September 19, 2016 by Kathryn

On days when I exercise, I’m much less likely to snarf a huge bowl of Mac and Cheese for lunch. On those big workout days, I tend to eat more veggies, lean meats and whole grains.

It’s not because I think, If got up at Stupid o’clock in the morning to burn 800 calories on a spin bike, I’m not going to eat back that entire amount in cheesy carbs!

It’s generally because I feel awesome about working out and I want to keep that high going. It’s about momentum and it’s about tasting victory.

One good choice in my life almost always leads to another good choice because doing good feels… what’s a good word to use here? AWESOME!

If I wake up and train like an athlete, then I feel all athlety and fierce and it’s only natural that I’ll want to fuel my athletic body with the right kind of fuel.

Choosing to be athletic makes me feel like an athlete. And when I feel like an athlete, I act like an athlete.

The same goes for my parenting. If I make a conscious effort to reach out to one of my kids and ask about his day, then I’m a nicer mom in our next interaction. I feel closer to him. We understand each other better.

Choosing to be nice makes me feel like a nice mom. And when I feel like a nice mom, I act like a nice mom.

So what do you want to be like today? Do one thing that a person like that would do. Savor how it feels and let that momentum carry you away on a pillowy cloud of Awesome.

Take one step forward. Do something good today.

Maybe it Wasn’t ADD

September 9, 2016 by Kathryn

It happened.

After 13 years of parenting little people, I no longer have a lunch buddy, a grocery buddy, or a pound on the door while I go to the bathroom buddy. For 6 hours. Every. Single. Weekday.

Starting this week, my kids are all in school fulltime.

I’ve had wild emotional mood swings about this.

Last year when I chose to only put Wanda in half-day kindergarten, it had a little to do with money, but mostly it was about – I wasn’t ready yet. She was ready. SO SO ready. But I couldn’t bear to let go of my last little friend for that many hours each day.

I knew I’d miss her, miss my role as a fulltime stay-at-home mom.

Motherhood is my favorite thing. Gratitude is not a strong enough word to describe how I feel about being a mom.

But it is brutal sometimes. And it is not cessant. Even a little bit.

Halfway through the school year last year, I started to get excited. Wanda was overripe for full day school at that point and I found myself daydreaming about all the things I’d accomplish when I had more uninterrupted time.

I could write a novel worth publishing. I could go back to school and become a doctor or an astronaut. I could even find out what it feels like to finish a thought before being interrupted.

I’ve been a casual on-again/off-again writer and blogger for ten years, periodically taking on too much freelance work. Then I would scale way back when I realized I was incapable of being a great working mom of young kids.

My blog has gone through periods of large readership, but things are quiet around here these days. I just haven’t had the time and focus to give it.

As I contemplated my new free time and all the ways I could fill it, I started to get really excited. I was ready. I could do this. I was simply moving into a new chapter of my life and I might love it.

Then a couple of weeks ago I went online to pay school fees.

And there was a box by Wanda’s name.

For lunch money.

I was overcome with sadness. It was sadness that she would be eating lunch with someone other than me. Sadness that a hugely important phase of my life was ending. My identity for the past 13 years was gone. I grieved.

So I didn’t know what to expect this week as the kids headed off to school.

Would I be sad? Would I be lonely? Would I be bored?

I doubted I’d be bored. I’d spent the entire summer (whenever I wasn’t having emergency surgery) making a business plan for all the writing and marketing I was going to do this year. But maybe I’d be depressed or lacking in motivation to follow through. That scared me.

The morning of the first day of school, Wanda was eating breakfast while I read. She called my name.

I looked up to see a concerned expression on her face.

“What’s wrong, Wanda?”

She eyed me with pity.

“When I leave for school today, the only one you’ll have to talk to is Cortana.”

(We’re a Windows Phone family. Cortana is my personal digital assistant. Like Siri’s big sister.)

To her, that was a horrible prospect. Me, sitting alone at a table, my head in my hands, repeatedly saying, “Cortona, tell me a joke.”

I walked her to school. I had a nice walk home. I showered in silence.

Then I got in the car to run an errand and this feeling welled up inside my chest, a feeling I hadn’t been expecting.

Total, pure, bubbling JOY.

I can do this. In my worry and sadness about turning in my full time stay-at-home mom badge, it hadn’t occurred to me that I would be getting another badge back. KATHRYN. I was overcome with this feeling of reclaiming a part of myself that I willingly surrendered many years ago.

I am autonomous.

I am free.

I am simply Kathryn for six whole hours each day.

And I love it.

I have gotten so much done in the past three days. I can’t even believe it.

Lately I’ve been talking to my doctor about the possibility that I might have ADD. My thoughts have been so scattered and I’ve had such a hard time finishing tasks and following through.

My kids just started school fulltime and I realized – maybe I don’t have ADD. Maybe I just have children.

I think my explosion of productivity can be explained this way – In the past, when I’ve had an hour to work on a blog post, what I’ve really had is:

5 minutes to work on a blog post

6 minutes to have my hair styled like a princess

3 minutes to work on a blog post

5 minutes to notice the pirate booty on the floor and pick it up before it got ground into the carpet

10 minutes to work on a blog post

15 minutes to kiss the invisible owie and find the band-aids because IT JUST FEELS LIKE BLOOOOD

3 minutes to work on a blog post

And then 13 minutes to figure out how the Octonauts were possibly going to rescue the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a

Now, when I have an hour to work on a blog post, I have AN HOUR TO WORK ON A BLOG POST.

And I miss my kids. But that just makes it more fun to see when they get home each afternoon. Missing them is not the worst thing in the world. I’m genuinely delighted to see them when they come home.

Enjoying this phase of life doesn’t take away from how much I adored being home and raising my kids full time. Some of my most precious memories were made during those times and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Today as I drove home from volunteering at the school, I saw a mother with her toddler, standing by the construction site. They were holding hands and engrossed in the digger truck action. I felt a twinge in my chest and thought, “I don’t do that anymore.”

But I like this time too. I’m coming to believe that there are seasons enough in our lives for all the good things we want to do. We just need to look for the beauty in the one we’re in and be present so we can make the most of it.

Drop Kick – Using Drops of Awesome to Teach My Kids (and myself) to Pick Up Our Dang Shoes

May 3, 2016 by Kathryn

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about finishing things. I’m not talking about finishing a race or finishing a college degree or finishing your grass roots campaign against the evil sheriff of Nottingham. (I ask you, Brother. Are you gonna finish what you started?!) I’m talking about flushing the dang toilet and putting your blow dryer away when you’re done with it. I’m talking about WHERE ARE MY SHOES??!!

I am great at cleaning my house. Super great. I have a lot of practice because I’m also really good at trashing it. I go through phases where I’m really consistent about cleaning as I go. And then I have a hardship like a toothache, or a busy week, or a good YA novel, and I fall off the wagon.

I do better at being consistent when I’m counting Drops of Awesome, when I’m congratulating myself for every small thing I get done, but due to some of my habits and routines, I have set up a system where I need to do a million more Drops of Awesome each day than I should really have to. I make my life harder by not following through and completing basic actions. So I have to go back and clean up after myself over and over again.

Take my blow dryer, for example. I frequently have to go “clean my vanity,” which involves putting my makeup, blow dryer and face wash away. This only takes a couple of minutes to do but it’s a couple of minutes I could be doing something else. And there’s really no reason it should be its own task at all. Part of drying my hair should be putting away the blow dryer.

Think about an action or a routine that you do on a regular basis and ask yourself, “At what point do I consider my action complete?”

Can you imagine using your blow dryer and then just dropping it to the ground as soon as your hair was dry, with the machine still running? No way. Part of “drying your hair” involves turning off the dryer when you’re done. I also always place my blow dryer on the counter rather than just releasing it from my hand and letting it crash to the floor.

I get a Drop of Awesome for turning it off then and another one for placing it on the counter.

Then I look at that action and ask myself, how can I kick this up a notch? How can I get one more Drop of Awesome by taking this action just a tiny step forward? I call this a Drop Kick.

So, for me, the blow dryer Drop Kick was to, in one motion, unplug the blow dryer as I’m turning it off and place it under the sink, never letting it touch the counter. Because this was a revolutionary move and so out of my usual routine, I would say, “Drop Kick!” every time I did it. It was me, improving one of my daily routines, just a Drop.

Soon it became a habit. And I almost never have to “clean the vanity.” It has become self-cleaning.

Now, you may be great at blow dryer follow-through. I’m so happy for you. But is there anything in your life that you could kick up a notch to make your day go more smoothly?
I sat my kids down a while back and asked them to each think of one Drop Kick they could focus on for the week. They picked things like, “Don’t let my backpack out of my hands until I reach the backpack shelf,” and “Don’t let my shoes touch the ground in the front entry.” (There was some coaching involved.)

For two of the kids, this has made a big difference. The front door clutter is down and they have a much easier time finding their stuff when they need it.

Another side benefit of this common vocabulary is that if someone forgets, rather than saying, “Wanda, pick up your backpack,” I can say, “Laylee is doing a great job Drop Kicking her backpack. Wanda, did you remember your Drop Kick when you came in?”

It’s a subtle difference but the cute catch-phrase really helps the medicine go down. And we’re building new, improved habits every day.

What do you want to Drop Kick this afternoon? Pick one thing that you could do a tiny bit better!

MY Best vs. THE Best – 523 Ways to Be Awesome

April 5, 2016 by Kathryn

Today is the official release day of 523 Ways to Be Awesome! It’s the second book in the Drops of Awesome series and I’m super excited about it.

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I guess you could say that today is the book’s birthday and since I wrote it, David Miles designed it, Stephanie Yan edited it, and Christopher Robbins (not Winnie the Pooh’s homie) masterminded the whole thing, we are all accepting gifts and salutations through midnight tonight.

The book is doing well on Amazon already thanks to you Awesome people and Familius has been working hard to get this book and the last one into some epic retail locations. I’m not naming names, but someone I know has been stalking the book shelves at Whole Foods because… ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!… any minute every Whole Foods in North America will have one of these bad boys.

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The whole thing is totally surreal to me.

Free range happy bacon.

$10/ounce soy cheese.

Handbags and leggings fashioned out of Kale and Hemp fibers.

Book
s by Kathryn Thompson.

All things that belong at Whole Foods.

We’re even working on scheduling a Costco book signing! You guys! I may get to hang out at Costco like the Blendtec guy, hawking my wares while people try to avoid eye contact and then eventually succumb to David’s gorgeous design and buy my book.

All of this is thrilling and I’m stoked. However, in some ways it puts me in a place where I desperately need to apply Drops of Awesome thinking.

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The truth is… there is always something more I could be doing to send this book out into the world more effectively. In fact, there are so many things I could be doing to spread the word about 523 Ways to Be Awesome that it can be really overwhelming. I slip into focusing on everything I’m not doing, which is ironic, considering the theme and content of the book.

Yesterday I sat looking at the list of marketing tasks I wanted to do before the book was released. The list was vast. And the check marks were… not as vast. And I was a day away from launch. And I didn’t have long to focus on it because I had to make dinner and get my son to baseball so I could go run a softball practice for my daughter.

In situations like this, it’s easy to think, “I’m not doing my best to launch this project.”

But then you have to dig further, “I may not be doing THE Best, but am I currently doing MY Best?” These are not the same thing.

THE Best is a notion that there is one perfect right way. It’s rarely realistic and frequently frustrating. MY Best is an honest assessment of what I am capable of doing based on my current circumstances, knowledge, and abilities.

And maybe My Best isn’t as good as I want it to be. So, what can I realistically do to increase my capacity today without beating myself up about what my capacity looked like yesterday?

To help with this process, I’ve been keeping a weekly to-do list, rather than daily. I write down everything I hope to accomplish for the week. Then, each morning I break my day down into time chunks that work around the flow of my non-negotiables and appointments.

Then I add as many items from my weekly to-do list as I can fit into those time chunks.

This gives me a realistic picture of what I actually have time to accomplish in a given day and I’m not quite as hard on myself when I find that I can’t do EVERYTHING. Time is finite and all I can do is use my time well. Sometimes this means changing my non-negotiables, cutting down on the appointments and commitments, and saying “no” to a few more things so I can say “yes” to different things.

I don’t have all the answers to this because I still get frustrated sometimes when I know there is a better way to do something and I just can’t quite get there. But I do know that I am happier when I focus on what I’m doing right and on realistic positive change.

I wrote a book. Drop of Awesome.

I gathered a team of fabulous friends and supporters to help promote it. Drop of Awesome.

I have been studying and planning and learning how to better execute social media strategy and I become more focused every day. Drop of Awesome.

Thank you so much to everyone who is taking this journey with me! Let the launch day festivities begin.

I Used to Do That

March 2, 2016 by Kathryn

I wasn’t always this perfect. And I won’t always be as imperfect as I am now.

A while ago I said something epically insensitive to a friend of mine who struggles with infertility. She didn’t say anything about it at the time but in a quiet moment later that day it occurred to me how hurtful my comment may have been. In this particular instance I felt strongly that bringing it up to apologize would only cause her more pain so I could relieve myself of guilt.

I felt terrible every time I saw her after my open-mouthed foot insertion. The guilt was eating away at me. I thought, I am so insensitive. I can’t believe I said that to her. I always speak before I think.

And then I stopped.

No, I thought, I used to do that. As of this moment, I don’t do that anymore.

This was a profound moment for me and I’ve used that phrase over and over since.

I used to do that.

As a mature woman who allows myself to evolve and change, when I look back at my life, I find there are things that I just don’t do anymore. There are little bad habits, sins or unkindnesses that come to mind and I think, I used to do that. But I don’t anymore.

I try not to beat myself up over these Used-To-Dos. If I don’t do them anymore, then thinking about them should make me happy. Oh, my, how I’ve grown!

But how long do you have to wait before you go from, “Dang! Why do I always do that?” to “I used to do that”? A week? A month? A decade?

Nope.

I propose that if you want to conquer a bad habit, you turn it into a Used-To-Do immediately. Whenever you do something you wish you hadn’t, rather than beat yourself up again, say, “Wow. I used to do that.”

Fix it if it needs fixing. And then move on.

If only wishing made it so, you might think. Saying, “I used to do that,” doesn’t automatically make it so I won’t do it again. Nope. I believe it can. Over time. At least far better than shaming and guilting yourself.

Let’s say you want to get up on time in the morning but you always find yourself hitting snooze. You wake up far too late, in a grouchy mood, and start the day off frustrated. You spend all day thinking things like, Why do I always do that? I know better than that but I’m so lazy. I’ve got to get up earlier but it’s so hard. If I don’t do better tomorrow, I’ll have another lousy day. I am so bad at mornings.

There are a few things that are messed up about this line of thinking.

1. You are reinforcing the negative behavior – “I always do that.” “I’m so lazy.” “It’s so hard.” “I’m so bad at mornings.” By telling yourself this story over and over again, you are digging it into your neuropathways, reinforcing it with steel beams and covering it over with cement. If you want to keep sucking at mornings, this is the way to accomplish that.

2. You are marinating in shame and guilt – Who was ever motivated to peaceful positive change by excessive shame and guilt?

No one.

Shame and guilt are key components of addiction and other out-of-control negative behaviors. A small amount of shame can help us fit into society by providing that little voice that tells us not go topless to the mall and a small amount of guilt can help us desire to make things right when we hurt another person. However, excessive shame and guilt can leave us feeling hopeless and grind us to a halt on our journey to healing and growth.

3. You are not being productive – There are no real solutions in this type of thinking. You are tearing down, rather than building up, criticizing rather than motivating.

Now think about this. Your alarm goes off one morning and, as usual, you hit snooze several times. You wake up late and frustrated and you think, I used to hit snooze a million times in the morning. That did not help my day go smoothly. Good thing I don’t do that anymore.

Throughout the day, as you feel unprepared or frazzled you think, This is frustrating. I used to feel like this a lot when I used to hit snooze in the morning. I’m glad I don’t do that anymore.

This does a few things to help your progress.

1. It stops your negativity before it spirals out of control – This is frustrating. But it’s temporary because I don’t do that anymore.

2. It redefines who you are and what you are capable of – I’m a person who makes positive changes. I have a plan to improve and I am improving at this very moment.

3. It reinforces positive behavior – All day long you rehearse the new improved version of yourself. I am a person who gets up early every morning.

You may need to do this again the following morning. And the next. But, if each time you hit snooze you think, I used to do that you will likely find that you hit snooze less and less.

Eventually you will transition to a place where your alarm goes off and, as you reach out your arm to hit snooze, you think, I used to do that, and slowly sit up in bed rather than dozing off again.

You reach the final stage when you don’t reach for the snooze button anymore, when talk of snooze button abuse comes up at a PTA meeting (as it so often does) and you think happily to yourself, I used to do that.

Saying, “Drops of Awesome,” when I do something positive helps me celebrate the good and keep my momentum going. Saying, “I used to do that,” when I do something negative interrupts the destructive behavior and reminds me of who I am and can be.

In the middle of writing this post, I went to the kitchen for a snack and saw the other half of Wanda’s breakfast grapefruit sitting on the counter. I should eat that before it goes bad, I thought. But then I decided there was probably more appetizing fruit in the fridge. I started to walk away and leave the grapefruit on the counter to die but then I thought, I used to waste food, and I ate it.

I used to eat chocolate right before bed. I used to say insensitive things in the name of humor. I used to ignore my kids when they got home if I was in the middle of writing.

What did you used to do today?

Sometimes Good Food Tastes Good

February 22, 2016 by Kathryn

I’ve been dieting and REALLY NOT DIETING and then dieting again for most of my adult life. I fluctuate in size and in most other measures of health and I work hard to shield my kids from my food weirdness. However I’m sure I shield them less than I intend to and it’s not ideal.

I’m a vegan.

Nope. I’m Paleo.

I eat whatever I want, dangit!

Whole 30 for life.

Chocolavores unite!

What my kids see is just food. On the table. Some of it’s good. Some of it’s less so. They know I’m always cooking some weird new thing and they mostly accept it, although sometimes with grumblings and rumblings.

Often, when I’m trying something new, I make two complete meals, one for me that I tell the kids is to help my body be healthier, and one for them to keep them happy.

Currently I’ve stripped it back to a Drops of Awesome approach to diet and nutrition. I try to rack up as many good choices as I can and I don’t stress too much about the junk that slips in now and then. It’s working at the moment, in that I’m not stressed about food and it’s become like a game to see how many vegetables and tablespoons of flax seed I can consume each day.

So you’ll see my plate overflowing with roasted vegetables and chicken and my kids are piling up on white rice and cheese. Everyone’s happy.

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However, I was recently reading Jonathan Bailor’s book, The Calorie Myth, an exploration of hundreds of medical studies about how our bodies actually evolve with diet and exercise. It had a section about helping our kids form good habits with food and I thought, “If I’m trying to eat more vegetables, lean meats, and good fats because that’s the healthiest way to eat, why did I give up the battle of encouraging my kids to do the same?”

They may not be having problems with health or fitness now, but if they keep eating the way they are, they will have problems in their future. It’s a difficult thing to figure out because, if anything, my kids struggle with being underweight, so I feel justified filling them up with empty calories to bulk them up when what I should really be doing is helping them eat more, higher-quality foods.

The problem is, I’m willing to eat healthful food simply because I know it’s good for me. My kids expect things to taste good. So, the past couple of weeks I’ve been working on adapting favorite recipes to make them a few Drops of Awesome better for everyone. I’ve had some hits and some misses, but more hits and it’s encouraging.

Yesterday when the kids got home from school, rather than letting them get their usual bowl of breakfast cereal, I spread lettuce leaves with a Greek yogurt dip they like, filled them with sliced turkey breast and made little roll-ups. They all gave me the stink-eye at first. But every one of them ended up loving the new snack.

Then for dinner I took a family favorite, cheeseburger pie, made it crustless, and changed the topping. Instead of topping it with a bunch of cheddar cheese, I topped it with a little cheddar cheese, some low-fat cottage cheese, an egg and several egg whites, and broccoli florets.

I held my breath. This was a major overhaul. But they all, LOVED it. Even the pickiest, Wanda, asked for seconds. And in the family prayer, Magoo said he was thankful for all the yummy food I’d been making lately.

We’re making progress.

The cherry on the top came at lunch today when I surprised Wanda with leftovers. She hates leftovers on principle. However, today she was ecstatic to eat her “new favorite meal,” the healthier version of cheeseburger pie.

“I like this better than mac and cheese!” she said. High praise, my friends. “What’s the real name of this dinner? I want to know because last summer in swimming lessons my teacher had me yell out my favorite food when I did a cannonball at the end of class and if she has me do that again next summer, I want to yell, ‘THIS THING!’”

THIS THING, indeed. Drops of Awesome.

What Can You Bear to Do Today?

November 21, 2015 by Kathryn

Sometimes I can’t bear to clean the kitchen, but I can bear to fill the sink with water so the dishes will soak. So I do that. And the kitchen is one step closer to being cleaning. I find that breaking down my tasks into lists of tiny steps and choosing which one I can bear to do helps me be productive. This and more revolutionary, life-changing tips are available in my most recent post on HowDoesShe.com.

Can you bear to click this link? [click to read more]

Thrill the World

October 28, 2015 by Kathryn

Maybe it’s because I snuck out of my room to watch the Thriller video when it premiered on TV even though my parents told me I wasn’t allowed to watch it and then I bawled all night because I was so terrified. Michael Jackson with yellow eyes dancing in a horror movie within a horror movie within a horror movie. I mean. Come on. Vomit-inducing fear.

Maybe it’s because someone once told me I looked like Jennifer Garner, who once did the Thriller dance in a movie.

Maybe it’s because all the best flash mobs involve bridesmaids dancing like zombies.

It’s possibly because I love hip hop dancing about as much as I am horrible at it. Which is a lot.

Whatever the reason, it’s long been on my bucket list to learn the choreography to Thriller.

And dance it in a group.

This weekend I did it! Dressed as a zombie princess with my daughter, her friend, and yes, my chiropractor, I danced Thriller with 250 other people at the mall.

Our makeup wasn’t all that epic.

I smiled way too much because I could not help myself.

I was more jolly than creepy.

But I seriously had the time of my life.

Apparently every year, people all over the world gather in the name of charity to Thrill the World. They all learn the dance and then perform it together at the same exact time, setting a world record for something.

So Laylee and I headed to the Senior Center Saturday mornings in September and October and dialed up the YouTube in between times to learn the heck out of this dance. Every time the music starts up and we get ready to dance, I tear up. Because that’s what I do. Dance makes me emotional.

During the first class we both just kept looking at each other like, “What did we get ourselves into?” It was way harder than we thought it would be, especially considering half the people in the class were senior citizens and they were rocking it.

The second class was better. We were almost up to old people hip hop levels and by performance day we nailed it. Mostly. My goal for next year is to make it look a little more like dancing and learn how to move my head from side to side like they do in the music video.

I’ve rarely had more fun with my girl and despite the fact that I don’t actually like pouring fake blood on myself and dressing up as a gory brain-eating zombie, I’m willing to pay that price in order to dance like Michael Jackson for a world record and to help disadvantaged kids learn golf. I am that selfless.

You should join us next year. Or should I say, “Next year join us… or we will nom nom your gray matter!”?

The fun thing is that whether you’re reading this in Seattle or Salt Lake City or Vancouver or Tokyo or London, there’s an event in your area and we can all dance together apart next year!

For the Love

October 21, 2015 by Kathryn

I have the hardest time every year choosing what picture to put on our Christmas cards. From the time school starts pretty much until Christmas vacation we simply do and do and do some more. We don’t really take time to document the doing. So the years when I get around to printing Christmas cards I often struggle. The summer pictures are too summery. The spring pictures are too outdated already. The fall pictures look like a ninja or witch, or a What Does the Fox Say, which aren’t very Christmasy.

So, this year I decided to kill two birds with one stone. For Halloween our entire family is dressing up as characters from White Christmas. Then we take a picture at the Halloween party and BAM! Christmas card pictures! The girls are the Haines Sisters, Dan and Magoo are Bob and Phil, and I’m the nosy housekeeper.

We’ve been buying fabric and feather fans for weeks and now, and the church Halloween party is just a couple of days away. I’ve been getting more organized, thanks to the fabulous Power of Moms, and I’m pretty much on schedule with this project. Today is the day to sew.

But I find that since I know I need to sew today, it’s the last thing I want to do. In fact, I’m Grumble-Sewing. Sew a seam. Growl a little. Pull out some pins. Sigh.

I am sitting at the table surrounded by gorgeous blue clouds of fabric and wonderful sewing machines that I’m blessed enough to own. I’m creating something amazing that I really want to create because I somehow convinced my entire family to dress up as characters from my favorite Christmas movie for Halloween, and I’m whining.

Why?

Have you ever done this? Have you ever found yourself whining internally or externally because you have to do something that you technically really love and that you chose to do but that suddenly when it’s time to do it, it feels like a chore?

Ugh. I have to read my book club book.
Ugh. I have to pick out an outfit for my date night.
Ugh. I have to sew Halloween costumes.
Ugh. I have to make dinner.
Ugh. I have to walk upstairs and sing Wanda a song for bedtime.

I love reading, getting dressed up, sewing, cooking, and spending time with my kids. But there’s something about a deadline or a sense of necessity that squash-slams my attitude.

However, noticing how annoying I was being, I was able to turn my day around by changing a few things:

1. Make a mental list of why you love what you’re doing – Today as I was sewing, I tried to remember why I love this hobby. I made a mental list.
-I get to make something beautiful.
-My kids love it.
-It makes me feel creative.
-I love finding cool new ways to put pieces together.
-It’s one of the few things I do that gets recognition from other people . (It’s like grown-up show and tell.)

2. Watch your wording – Whenever I chatted with someone, I was careful about how I talked about what I was doing. Instead of saying, “I have to sew costumes today,” I said, “I get to sew costumes today.” It helps to think of the task as a privilege, rather than a burden. I should never forget that I chose how I spend my time.

3. Take breaks – So instead of pushing through with my usual sewing sweatshop, a marathon process that makes sewing extremely unfun, I broke it up by doing other tasks like cleaning and grocery shopping. That way sewing was the recreational activity I could return to in little chunks and actually enjoy it.

I find that this process works even for tasks I don’t actually love. If I make a mental list of things I love about mopping (the smell of the soap, the way the floor looks and feels when I’m done, the game I play where I break the floor up into shapes and scrub them one at a time), talk about it like I’m lucky to have a floor to mop, and reward myself with a little break when I’m done the kitchen, mopping is less of a suck.

How do you motivate yourself to do the things you hate or remind yourself that you actually love the things on your schedule?

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