I am blogging while I wait up for Laylee to get home from her evening activities and then I’ll sleep. I was going to wait up for the pies to cool but I don’t know that it’s worth it. Because there are no pies. Only pie soup with floating meringue. Two hours of my life in a dish with floating blobs of meringue.
And I’m good at pie. I SLAUGHTER AT PIE. But not this time. Because this time it matters. This time I’m making pie for two pie competitions, one at Magoo’s school that he desperately wants to win and one at Dan’s work that I desperately want to win because he’s in his new job with his new co-workers and I don’t know anybody and I have this irrational desire to win Stay-at-Home-Mom/Wife, Microsoft edition. It’s not a thing, but in my special brain-world it is and if I’m going to place in the top 3, I at least need to be able make a freaking pie. Right? Right?
I want to punch myself in the face for typing that because truly? Truly? Who cares? No one. And tomorrow not even me, I guarantee. But in this moment I’m epically sad about losing at pie.
I did good things today. Drops of Awesome were everywhere, but I ended the day exhausted, with liquid pie guts in a dish and I say, “Serve me up a different day, please. Because I’m sending this one back to the kitchen.”
The weather was gorgeous.
One of my kids left the house this morning seething with hormonal rage, aimed at no one in particular but flowing in my general direction. My throat hurt. I had a writing deadline and the post was taking me forever.
By 9:45am, I had heard that someone I care about had passed away, I had gone out in public unshowered and with Wanda looking like a pajama-clad orphan and I’d been pulled over by the police for speeding on a street where Dan has told me no fewer than 30 times to slow down because I would likely get pulled over for speeding.
Preschool, road construction, baseball practice, errands, more road construction, lateness, tween rage, nothing for dinner, trashed house that was clean YES-TER-DAY, instrument practice, play rehearsal, homework, shoes and backpacks everywhere, WAY more shoes and backpacks than there are humans living in my house. Way more. Like I could start a shoe and backpack emporium for people who like shoes with shredded laces because no one under the age of 30 in this family will ever EVER tie their shoes. They just let the laces drag behind them until they wear down to the length they want. Like beaver teeth.
And then Magoo and I spent two hours that I didn’t really have making lemon meringue pies from zest-and-squeeze-your-own-lemons scratch and the lemon fillings wouldn’t set at all. It was like yellow water in soggy hand-rolled crusts. And I blopped the meringue on top and baked them anyway because I was so mad at those pies, I thought a good fifteen minutes in a hot oven would serve them right.
And while I was typing this rant, Laylee came home from her rehearsal and I told her about my day and I cried a little and I told her sometimes it’s hard being the mom. And she said, “Your friend died and you got picked up by the police. That’s a hard day for anyone.” And she hugged me and told me she loved me.
And I loved her more.
I feel better now and I considered letting this post die on my computer without seeing the internet light of day. Because I am Drops of Awesome lady. I’m an author and a public speaker. I think positively. I love myself fully and never ever want to put my kids to bed at 5pm and hoover all the chocolate in Washington State. But that’s not always the case.
Sometimes I’m Drops of Awesome lady. And I’m tired.
And I’m fed up.
And I’m not rational at all.
And I murder pies.
And I thought you should know.
My little tween mom-substitute told me I should go to sleep. I think she’s right. Everything will look better in the morning.
KT says
Sorry your day stunk 🙁
I will eat your pie soup!
Kathryn says
You are welcome to a scoop!
Myla says
I love you.
Kathryn says
Love you too, Myla!
Nancy says
Some days are like that, even in Australia……
Hey, drops of awesome for even attempting to make a pie from scratch because that is where I draw the line. Some days are like that, thanks for sharing so we all know everyone has days like we do :). P.S. A certain babysitter of yours MAY be familiar with the local police and speeding in a small town……you should ask her about this…..
Kathryn says
You are so great, Nancy.
Rebecca says
Wow, you had one of those days….enjoyed your blog immensely…keep up the good work…we all have those days….just be happy they aren’t like that everyday.
Kathryn says
Thank, Rebecca. I figure if this is my horrible day, I have a pretty great life.
Margaret says
This post is an example of one of the reasons that I like you (and your sisters). You people are SO DANG AWESOME, and you ALSO share when things are tough. My tough days don’t involve NEARLY so many shredded-lace shoes or backpacks (or pies!) but it’s always just nice to know that other people have bad days.
And how wonderful and wise is your Laylee!!!!! A kid like that has an AWESOME mom.
Megan says
That is most certainly a hard day for anyone. You are awesome, drops of awesome lady. Thanks for sharing the good and the bad.
Kasey says
Ohmygoodness. I love this post so much. I was laughing and wanting to hug you at the same time, and also so grateful to know I’m not the only one who feels like this!
I had one of those mornings- one of those mornings where I was shoving my kids out the door to the bus stop stuffing 2 different forms into my son’s backpack and screaming at him to not forget that one other form I had put in the other pocket of his backpack, then as the bus pulled away realizing one of them had left her show-and-tell thing at home, and then my son called from school saying he needed a different form (which I SWEAR I had already turned in) and so I put that on my list. When I was looking for it (seriously, I turned it in!) I found something else that should have been turned in, like, a month ago, so I went ahead and grabbed that too on my way to the school.
When I got to the school office with my toddler in tow they said, “What do you need?” and I said, “Someone to find where my brain went after it oozed out of my ears while I was sleeping.” Well, they couldn’t help me with that, but I dropped off the stuff and had to get a new copy of the form- which, as it turns out, they didn’t have there, so I had to drag the toddler to the middle school next door and go through a whole sign-in process there and get escorted down the hallways to another office where I got the form and filled it out, etc., etc.
When I was at the elementary school feeling like the world’s biggest failure as a mom (my husband has been out of town all week which hasn’t helped) I saw a mom pull up, get out of the car wearing sweatpants and slippers with two kids in tow, and take them into the school nearly a half hour late. I took a breath and said to myself, “I’m doing okay. At least I’m not THAT mom!” And then I said a prayer for her, because by golly, we all have a hard job, and if today her best was getting her kids to school in pj’s and slippers was her best, then good for her and I love her for it!
Soldier on, friend! Buckets of awesome to you for validating the rest of us and being honest and vulnerable and real. 🙂
Kathryn says
That is a DAY, Kasey! Thank you for sharing. I so appreciate the friendship and validation. Many a good woman has been taken down my school paperwork. We shed a tear for our fallen comrades.
Amber says
So, you don’t know me, and this is exactly the 2nd post I’ve ever read of yours. But this is the post I needed today. And today was a good day. But yesterday wasn’t. So my feelings about yesterday haven’t exactly been mended yet. Thank you for being honest. I love when moms are honest with each other – about the really good and the really bad. Because we all have them. And so I love you today and you’re my favorite person on the internet. Thank you. 🙂
Kathryn says
Well, you are now my favorite person on the internet today as well, Amber. Thank you for taking the time to share with me. A couple of days after my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I had one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. It’s so good how it gets better.
Jennifer B. says
Thank you for deciding to share this. Yep, some days are like that–and it’s so nice to know that everyone has them and we aren’t alone. Glad to know you survived and even had a good day a little later. Hope your next week is full of happy.
Susan Lunt says
You have no idea how much your honest sharing lifts your fellow mommies…or maybe you do 🙂 Either way, thank you.
Scott Senkeresty says
Here is where you went wrong: when applying fluffy sweet white deliciousness to pie… it should always be Whipped Cream. Always. That other white stuff is from the devil.
Kathryn says
Egg whites are of Satan. Check. Cool whip too? Because I’m foggy on the theological origins of Cool Whip.