Stuff

My Pore Cleaner Sucks

September 4, 2007 by Kathryn

While I was “researching” the Harriet Carter catalog for blog fodder, I came across a pore cleaning device “as seen on TV” and felt it was ridiculous, possibly useless, and I must have it. However, I was unwilling to pay $7.95 on the off chance that one of my pores could be cleansed of impurity.

Then, the stars aligned and by some miracle the DOLLAR STORE got in a shipment of the coveted pore cleaners. These particular cleaners were not “as seen on TV” per se, but they were as seen at the DOLLAR STORE, which meant that they would only cost approximately one dollar. I dug into my piggy bank and indulged.

The box claimed that the device would provide a personal spa experience. I am a person and I like spas and experiencing things. Great-o.

Inside the box there were no instructions, just this helpful warning insert.

There are a few things I love about the insert.

1. The CAUTION — “Purple spots or scars may appear on your skin.” With the use of this device, you must forever choose between dirty pores or purple spots and scars.

2. The fact that PORE CLEANER is always typed in ALL CAPS.

3. The part where it says “do not use PORE CLEANER if you have pimples or any skin inflammation.” What exactly are you supposed to clean out of your pores if you’re not someone who’s prone to pimples or skin inflammation? Also, if the cleaner does what it says it will do to your skin, everyone who uses it will have skin inflammation. Maybe you can only use it the one time, until your skin becomes inflamed and then you have to stop. Or maybe you can only use it once on each patch of skin until your entire face turns purple and then you have to stop. Maybe you can only use it on that really soft part of your skin right behind your earlobes.

4. That you cannot use the PORE CLEANER for more than one minute around the nose or 4 minutes around the cheeks, chin or forehead. You cannot use it ever around your eyes, the top of your nose, head, hairline border, or on areas of thin skin, or on the same point more than twice.

After all this I put a battery in, started her up and pressed her to the very thick and unblemished tip of my nose. Nothing. Nada. Not even the promised purple polka dot.

Well that’s just one more thing I’ve seen on TV that I’m not willing to spend a dollar on. For a real spa experience, I guess I’ll need to shell out at least a buck and a quarter.

The Potty Training Answer Book

September 3, 2007 by Kathryn

This lovely little book about potty training has done a number on me. Just binging up the topic of potty training now that Magoo’s nearing 2 and a half makes me twitch a little. I delight in the fact that he’s not showing the signs of readiness. Rather than looking forward with excitement to that milestone, I find the signs of readiness alarming because I am not yet ready and do not want to deal with training him when he is.

I thought reviewing Karen Deerwester’s book of answers might be thing I needed to push me towards the next big step in Magoo’s development. Not so. She has a very calming and relaxed approach to potty training, describing how each parent should come up with a personal plan for each child to help them become successful, given their unique personality and temperament.

She tells parents to chill out, advice I definitely could have used when I first started with Laylee, convince I should train her the same way I was trained even though we are totally different in temperament. I created an emotional and physical battleground in our little condo that I shudder to remember, so insistent that I be “right” about what her body was doing.

Reading the calming and enthusiastic book actually stressed me out more because of all the questions she addresses. Laylee was never afraid of toilets! Oh no! Maybe Magoo will be. Laylee never pooped in potted plants or behind furniture. Ack! Maybe Magoo will. The advice in the book was good and covered a really wide range of potty training issues. I guess I just don’t want to need all that advice. I’m hoping Magoo will self-train before the age of 12. Here’s to pleasant dreams and happy fantasies!

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Tip Tuesday — Reading with Kids

August 28, 2007 by Kathryn

The internet’s been down all day here so Tip Tuesday is gonna be mostly on Wednesday this week but I know you can roll “wid” it because y’all are cool like that.

When Laylee was first born, I read to her obsessively. I had all kinds of reading goals, plans and agendas and I loved the way we bonded over our favorite books. Now that Magoo has joined the posse, I find myself armed with books as a weapon to encourage naps, bedtime and something like quiet behavior in church.

He doesn’t seem to have an attention span worth mentioning and since most of our books don’t growl or explode, they’re of very little interest to him.

Laylee still loves stories but she wants to pick her own now and they’re often either so long or so annoying that I try not to suggest story time unless I’m trying to bribe her into narcolepsy.

I’ve felt guilty about our mounting family illiteracy but not as guilty as I’ve felt about my many other areas of personal parental inadequacy so I’ve let it slide. Sometime between 6 months and 10 years ago, Sourcebooks sent me a review copy of Reading with Babies, Toddlers and Twos: A Guide to Reading, Choosing and Loving Books Together.

I finally pulled it out last month and found it was really a quick read and much to my surprise, it did not make me feel a bit guilty, only encouraged to do better. It’s full of great tips, quotes and stories about reading but the best part is that it’s crammed with lists of books for nearly every early age, stage and personality type.

I enjoyed the book and the renewed excitement my kids and I have found for reading so much that I decided to send it on to my sister-in-law as a baby present… But I couldn’t part with all those fabu lists so now I have to go and spend actual money on the darn thing.

My 3 favorite tips from the book are:

-Relax and let your kids enjoy their books, even if it means letting them love Curious George to a pitiful paper monkey death.

-Have your kids grab a couple of books on your way out the door so they have something to occupy them in the car. This will build their bond with books and may give you a couple of seconds’ peace as you drive or a helpful diversion in a checkout line.

-Take small chunks of time throughout the day to sit down and read with your kids, not just one big fat story marathon and not just at bedtime.

What tips do you have to encourage reading for children of all ages?

What books should no children’s library be without?

Lunch Engine Optimization

August 13, 2007 by Kathryn

I hear a lot of people talking shmack about Search Engine Optimization, the art of getting your website as high in the search results as possible on Google, MSN, Yahoo or Hakia.

There are many ways to do this. One is to creatively add popular keywords all over your site, in your post titles, your categories and tags, anywhere that would be picked up by a search engine. If you say “Purple Manatees” 400 times on the front page of your website, chances are you will rank pretty high on an MSN search for purple manatees. If you say “purple manatees” 400 times AND “large redish-blue sea creatures that are also known as cows of the sea, who live in the ocean in salt water and swim like fishes even though they’re mammals who are larger than PARIS HILTON or BRITNEY SPEARS,” you really broaden the search results people can use to find your site.

I’ve never really done this, but I hear the key is to use terms that a lot of people search for and to use as many different terms as possible.

Today I noticed that although I don’t do this on my website, I totally do it to get my kids to put the lunch I’ve made high on their personal search results page. Laylee wanted peanut butter and Magoo just wanted some BREAD!

Instead of — “peanut butter sandwiches,” I made, “Peanut butter and jam sandwiches on bread with pink jelly, sugar sauce that tastes like candy, creamy brown sauce, squishy homemade pastry and protein.”

That way, if they’re searching for peanuts, butter, jam, sandwiches, bread, pink things, jelly/jello/gelatinous anything, sugar, sauce, brown items, things that squish, homemade things, pastries, or vital protein-type nutrients, my PB&J creation will match their search perfectly.

Tomorrow I may whip up some “Kraft macaroni and cheese, slightly overcooked but almost al dente, pasta noodles with orange cheesish sauce, made with milk (an ingredient also found in ice cream), butter, unknown chemicals, saturated fat, refined carbohydrates, fun, slurpable goodness and joy.”

the reasons: cilantro, blue sky, Dan greeting me in the morning with an invitation to go clothes shopping

To Review or Not to Review

August 9, 2007 by Kathryn

I periodically sign up to receive review copies of books that seem interesting to me. The books arrive and I open them with anticipation. I touch and cuddle the books and put them on a stack next to my computer, waiting for the magical day when I will suddenly be overcome with the desire to stop everything I’m doing and read them.

This day never comes. If you take a somewhat lame book that I purchased on a whim and stack it next to a quality book that I’m obligated to read and review, I will almost always pick the whim book because there are no strings attached. So I’m trying to figure out whether to do any more of these reviews. On the one hand, I like getting great new books free in the mail. On the other hand, I don’t want to read them because I feel like I HAVE to.

So, I’ve been reading through my stack the past few weeks and I’m hoping to get all my reviews up soon and then decide if I’ll do any more. Do you all like book reviews on this site? Honest opinions please.

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Poetry Speaks To Children

August 9, 2007 by Kathryn

We took my review copy of Poetry Speaks to Children on vacation with us this July to try it out with the kids. It’s a hard cover picture book of poetry compiled by Elise Paschen with poems written by just about every famous poet around and a few I’d never heard of.

It comes with a CD containing readings of nearly all the poems, many of them read by the authors themselves. The track numbers are clearly listed on each page so it’s easy to follow along as you read, even if you’re too little to read words yet.

Dan and I loved the book and most of the readings. Some of the recordings are not super high quality and some of the authors are not excellent readers. Still it was fascinating to hear the voice inflections of the people who originally penned the words, a novelty that was lost on my 2 and 4-year-old but which I think older kids and adults would really appreciate.

My kids enjoyed it more when I read the book to them myself. The gorgeous illustrations really captured their imaginations (Well, Laylee’s imagination. This was still a bit of a stretch for Magoo.) and overall the experience was a success.

I think it would make a great gift for an elementary school aged child, one they might not appreciate at first but their parents would love you for and it would become a favorite as they learned to dive in and love the world of poetry.

Subscribe to Daring Young Mom

August 4, 2007 by Kathryn

I learned a few techie things at BlogHer and now I’m trying to act on them. I’ve finally gotten friendly with FeedBurner so if you’d like to subscribe to my RSS for your reader, you can click here.

If you’d like my new posts delivered to your email inbox, you can subscribe by entering your addres below. (Mom – I’m talking to you!)

Big Fat Harry Plot

July 24, 2007 by Kathryn

J. K. Rowling is trying to take over the world through social isolation, lack of personal hygiene and sleep deprivation. With half the world’s population starved for quality sleep, unshowered and refusing to talk to even their closest friends, Ms. Rowling is poised to take over the muggle world.

I finally finished last night and I can now speak to people again and even use the interwebs, no longer afraid that someone will drop a spoiler disguised as a “review”. When people at church told me they’d finished it, I would walk away from them quickly before they could utter another word. I did not want to hear, “It was so awesome” or “It didn’t quite do it for me” because then I’d know something and I wanted a blank slate experience. I can now go to sleep sometime before I’m supposed to wake up and I may even shower later.

Did I like the book? If you’ve already finished it and you’d like to continue this discussion via email, I will be happy to share my humble opinion.

Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 4

June 21, 2007 by Kathryn

And now for installment 4 of The Series:

Finally a shelf big enough for my VCR!!

“TV Topshelf – Sturdy shelf lets your TV do something handy!”

After Gandalf was reborn, he invented his own line of cleaning products.

White Wizard Stain Remover

The trees are lonely.

“Sweet William Floral Ring – Pre-seeded floral ring spruces up lonely trees instantly!”

Whoever said faux sheepskin covers were just for your high school hoopty obviously didn’t have a lounger worth modernizing.

“Fleece Recliner Cover dresses up that favorite chair and makes it more comfortable than ever!”

Who needs Orkin when you can simply hang a glowing sensor owl to scare away garden pests? I’m pleased to read that it is approved for indoor use and proven to amuse guests. I’m so sick of coming up with dinner conversation. This could solve at least half of our family’s current problems.

“Sensor owl scares away garden pests! Built-in motion sensor detects movement and emits a loud HOOT. Repels unwanted birds and squirrels while amusing guests. Use indoors or out.”

Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 3

June 10, 2007 by Kathryn

And now for week 3 of The Series:

If you don’t have enough pet hair on your couch, you can get it in just 3 easy steps.

Doggy Stepsâ„¢

Why waste another day worrying about that ugly septic pipe in your yard when you could spend your time looking at an ugly fake plastic tree stump? (includes lifelike 2-inch squirrels and raccoons.)

“Hide-a-pipe tree stump makes unsightly above-ground septic pipes disappear.” (I really think they could have used an exclamation point here, but what do I know?! I’m not the magician.)

It’s too late for me to invent a fork with razor sharp edges. The Knork is already a life-threatening registered trademark.

“When is a fork a knife? When it’s a KnorkÂ®! Clever design gives this fork a cutting edge along its beveled outside tines.”

Protecting your valuable furniture is never out of style.

“See-Thru Furniture Covers
protect your beautiful chairs and sofas. Heavy duty, stitched slipcovers are contoured to fit all arm chairs. They slip on and off in a snap to keep out dust, dirt, spills, bugs. Will last for years.” (For years? Oh goody!)

You can save space by installing a large metal device on your wall to crush cans. I’ve always preferred crushing cans on my forehead or with a swift flick and stomp movement, but then I know nothing about saving space. Apparently it can also be screwed directly into your table.

“Space-saving Can crusher for wall or table. Don’t let empty cans pile up between collections!”

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