Drops of Awesome

Personal Blog of Author Kathryn Thompson

Today I Was a Mom

by

I was a mom pretty much all day today. Here is my report:

I cruelly forced someone to wear pants outside in 40-degree weather.

I cut peanut-butter sandwiches in the shape of dinosaurs and delivered them to an alfresco restaurant-for-2 at the end of our driveway.

I danced like a lunatic while driving in my car. My passengers said I was good. I chose to believe them.

I changed shirts twice but never showered.

I calmly explained AGAIN why people under the age of 30 should never use permanent markers… ever.

I threw away 3 packs of wipes that had been left open and dried out completely. Yes. I heard the earth and Sheryl Crow scream out in pain and betrayal.

I received a visitor while sitting upon the throne who proceeded to hug and cuddle me tenderly while I peed… just because of love.

When they asked “Why,” I answered. All day long.

I held a large child like a baby while he cried and showed me his bonk. Twice.

I giggled on the escalator while holding hands with a boy and agreed that it was “JUST LIKE A RIDE!”

I tried to play a girly ballad on the car stereo but was told, “That song’s scary!” “No it’s not,” I retorted. He responded, “It’s not scary to YOU, but it’s scary to ME.” I navigated my Zune back to Eye of the Tiger.

I sat out on the front porch to sort the mail so they could keep playing outside until it was All the Way Dark.

When asked to squeeze the ketchup in the shape of a dinosaur, I did my best but was informed that it looked more like an AT-AT.

I purchased the socks with the grey bottoms even though they cost 50 cents more because they help him run so much faster.

After 3 hours of hard work, I unearthed a parking spot in our garage and put my car in it, only to be scared and confused when I went to leave for a meeting and found that the car was “missing” from the driveway.

I sat in a meeting full of other moms, animatedly discussing ways of extorting money from friends and family to support education. An award called a “Golden Acorn,” professional jump-ropers, and nominating people to be on a committee to nominate people were all discussed at the meeting as well.

I picked up two slugs with my bare hands and threw them to freedom so the children’s squealing would stop. One was on a rubber ball. One was on my living room carpet. They felt like congealed slime… because they were.

Upon request I composed two original songs, one called, “Hooky Joojie” and the other called, “Mommy, the Laylee’s Mommy,” sung to the tune of Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer.

I heard two people pray about how much they loved me.

Today I was a mom. It’s not a bad gig.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. cyndi says

    That may be about the best post I’ve read, maybe ever! It is a great gig, and thank you for reminding me to remember that 🙂 So, does he like the socks with the multi-colored bottoms? Mine swear by their speedpower! Happy momming, and thanx for sharing!

  4. sarah k. says

    I’m having heart palpitations over the tossed wipes. Kathryn! You live in Seattle! Don’t they know how to save dried out wipes there? GET THEM WET AGAIN! As in, with the same stuff that dried out of them. Put them in a sandwich tupperware, add water, voila! Did you know you can even wash the dang things in your regular laundry and reuse them at least a couple of times? Think of all the space in the landfill saved by just a few threads of polyester.

    There, I feel a little better. Except I now need to go throw up at the thought of touching slugs with bare skin, and no spatulas.

  8. Janel says

    Thank you for including conversing on the throne in your list of motherhood responsibilities. It’s so true! Very sweet.

  13. Debra says

    Kathryn –

    Why you don’t have a best seller sitting on the shelves at Borders is confusing to me.

    Seriously.

    And I’m not “just saying that” because I’m only one tank full of gas away from stalking you once you’re famous. 😉

    You are an incredibly gifted writer + a fantastic mom.

    Debra

  15. Jen @ The Short Years says

    I can relate to just about every single thing in this post. Great way to explain to people who wonder what at-home moms do all day! Oh, and the slug thing? You are so much braver than I am. When I found a slug inside the other day, I had to pick it up using a giant mass of paper towels as a buffer so no bare skin would touch the slime. You are truly the DARING young mom and if I had a hat, it would be off to you.

  22. Amanda says

    I hope you don’t mind. I linked your post to our MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers) blog…I’ll probably read it at the next meeting. Thanks for sharing your gig with the rest of us… 🙂

    • The Daring One says

      That’s really kind. Thank you so much. I was hoping it would sound familiar to a lot of you out there. Except for the not showering part. I wish you all much better hygiene than that. 🙂

  24. Ann Kroeker says

    I made a pumpkin pie and the 7yo boy who loves pumpkin pie more than any other dessert in the whole world came up and gave me a hug about three hours before dinner and hugged me, looked up and said, “That’s because you made me pumpkin pie. And I love you.”

    That’s all for me today. I was a mom, but not as awesome a mom as you, that’s for sure. You really gave. And gave. And gave.

    • The Daring One says

      Why do you think I chose this mom-day to blog? If you think every day is like this, I’ve seriously misrepresented myself. It was a good one.

      Love the pumpkin pie story. Anyone who can raise a 7-year-old boy to be that sweet is doing something RIGHT!

  26. Jenn says

    I agree with the mom who asked why you’re not already on The View talking about your latest novel, the one where you explain how to make up lyrics to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, for ALL the holidays – and then some.

    When are you letting me photograph you?

    • The Daring One says

      When this third eye shrinks from off my face. Seriously I have not broken out this bad since I was 15. Soon, I hope. I saw your gorgeous work up at the gym and I recognized it from across the room.

  27. Amy @ Experience Imagination says

    I was a mom at 3:00 in the morning and … well, your day sounds like a lot more fun than my middle-of-the-night adventure!

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who manages to change clothes without showering once in a while.

    And the bathroom thing–around here, upon being told bathroom activities deserve privacy, my daughter starts a whole new round of the “But, why???” game.

    Sometimes, I just give up and tell her I’ve run out of answers and she’ll have to check back tomorrow to see if I’ve been restocked.

  28. KYouell says

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets hugs of love on the throne. My husband thinks I’m weird to let her hug me then, but the happiness on her face is too much to reject. I think maybe she’s so happy because she knows I’m trapped.

  29. Swank Girl says

    I’ve never been to your blog before – I was linked up through Boomama’s blog… and I’m so glad I did. I loved this post. I don’t have children yet… hubby and I are waiting for a little longer… but I so appreciated your words. This motherhood gig does sound pretty amazing and rewarding and I am looking forward to it very longingly. Thank you for sharing with us.

  31. David says

    I just read this to my wife, who is a “daring young mother” of two little boys and I was the one who was crying at the end.

  34. lucy says

    Wow, I’m exhausted from your post but had to laugh about the cuddling during your pee break…I don’t know how many times my daughter just walks in when I’m doing my business to ask me questions, tell me something or ask me to help her look for something…lol

  42. coach jamie says

    I love it!! Your post has reminded me to take time to enjoy all of the simple “mom” experinences that happen in a day and to remember how important it is to be present in the moment for your children.

  43. Giana says

    I absolutely LOVED this!!! Let me tell you, we’ve all been there with the bathroom thing. A lot of the time my 17month old all but insists on sitting on my lap while I’m in there. My husband won’t let him into the bathroom when he’s in there and the poor boy will lay outside the door crying!! And kudos on the slugs, this mommy would need rubber gloves and paper towels before I even thought about touching a slug! ICK!

  44. LaUnika says

    Amazing post. On almost every single line I said “I’ve done that”. 🙂

    Keep up the good work.

  47. Jamie says

    WHAT?! You made your child wear pants?! That is the ultimate punishment for a 5yo princess… I have heart palpitations every time I have to tell her to change b/c it’s 50 degrees below zero in Michigan and she wants to run errands with daddy. As for sharing toilet time, I can occasionally be seen (only by members of my family) sitting on the throne with a child or two, or maybe just one, on my lap just for the sake of peace.

  48. Melissa says

    Loved your blog. It made me laugh and reminded me of one of my days. I just wish you hadn’t thrown away baby wipes. You can rewet them and use or just dust with them. I rewet and wipe down woodwork,shoes car interior, etc….

  49. DeNae says

    See, you get it. If I could be reincarnated I’d come back as you. Although I suppose that would leave YOU in a pickle. If I’m you, then I suppose you’d have to be me. That’s not all bad, of course, but I’m much older than you are and I would probably set the ball on fire before ever touching the slug attached to it. If the slug were in my living room, we’d just have to move.

    So, if you’d prefer to be a middle-aged BTDT (been there, done that) mom, let me know and I’ll look into the cosmic implications of switching places.

    I bet there are a bunch of forms to fill out. (And what would we use for ID? Hmmm…)

  52. The Lazy Organizer says

    It’s got to be a scary thing to lose your car in your own garage (that made me laugh the loudest) and I’m so glad Sarah broke the news about the wipes so I didn’t have to.

  60. kittyhox says

    Aw, why do you always have to make me tear up right at the end.

    It reminds me that I’m the luckiest person in the world because I get to spend all day every day with my son. The funny moments and affection are worth all the tantrums, lack of privacy, and messes.

    My son also like to follow me into the little potty room inside our bathroom and either give me hugs or turn off the lights and shut the door so we’re in total darkness, because we’re “hiding.” I figure it’s good practice in case there is ever a burglar.

  62. DianaGainer says

    It’s a great job, ain’t it? And to think at moments I occasionally thought about resigning! I couldn’t seem to get no replacements though, I’m glad to report. Did you ever pause to reflect on why, at two years, they suddenly insisted on kissing their own boo-boos? Did that even make sense? Did you ever have any spectacular misunderstandings with the doctor, like carting two hysterically screaming boobelehs in to find out why they cried 22 hours of the day, to have him insist that you make them stop crying so’s he could talk to you? Or did your child come home from school and tell you he learned that the reason they call it the Blue Bonnet Plague is ’cause it made folks break out in a blue rash on their noggins the shape of a bonnet? Yeah, I guess that was me and mine! Gotta laugh! They do grow up though. Then we miss those days.

  63. Elizabeth says

    Wow! that’s an awesome post! Nevermind that you make my mothering skills look like the underdog of the year’s! I’m definitely visiting your blog again : )

    • The Daring One says

      That’s why the title was “TODAY” I was a mom. Every day is not like that. This was one day when I felt like I really got it done. I won’t write about what I did yesterday… Thanks for stopping by.

  64. Keri says

    Just stumbled across this post – thanks for sharing. Some days are easier than others, and sounds like you had a great day here. Thanks for helping us all to keep it in focus.

  65. kathy says

    First off, great writing talent!!!!
    Second, thank you. I have four kids. Single mom. Some days I wonder what I have accomplished, and usually come up with = ??? nada. Your essay made me review my day. Holy cow, it is amazing that I even got a load of laundry done. What, with bugs and boo-boos and potty parties! You made me think about how important those little things are……

  66. Family Matters says

    I’m all choked up. That’s pretty much how my good parenting days go, except I only have one left to do these sorts of things with. The other two are too grown up, save moments of temporary insanity.

  67. Marion says

    I sat here reading and laughing the whole time. I was relating to everything, especially the kissing of bonks, and the visits whilst on the throne. Thank you!!

  68. sarah says

    i love this! i go through these same situations everyday, times 3, and thank the gods for every moment!

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