That’s me in the hall. way. sending my daughter to kindergarten.
This week Laylee has a kindergarten “soft start.” Today she met with her teacher one-on-one for 20 minutes to discuss important matters like the sounds a “G” makes and whether or not she knows her own phone number.
From what I’ve heard, the teacher is an angel of heavenly joy and ever-lovin’ beauty blessedness. I’ve been hearing her name for 2 years, usually accompanied by sighs and gasps and mumbles about wonderfulness… absolutely amazingosity… and… freakin’ sainthood. I had more than one person tell me, “You have GOT to make sure Laylee gets in Mrs. Sweetsie’s class.” And I’d say, “Oh yeah? How do I make sure she gets in there?” And then they’d say, “Oh. You can’t. You can’t request a specific teacher but you’d better hope she gets in that class. Mrs. Sweetsie is an altruistic alchemist of magical teaching genius who belches fairy dust and has celestial light streaming from her fingertips. Having Timmy in her class has been the single best experience of my life. Good luck.”
So, needless to say although I’m going to say it anyway, I was more than pleased to find out Laylee had been put in her class. And she does seem like a keeper from the 20 minutes I spent with her today… er Laylee spent with her today while I filled out paperwork in the hallway outside the door and cried my eyes out because Laylee’s growing up so fast and for the love why did I ever stop breastfeeding her. If she were still on the teat, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t make me send her off into the world.
Not that anyone’s making me. I know I could homeschool but this feels like the right decision at the moment, even if it’s tearing my heart out through my left nostril. I sat in the hall filling out forms.
How many hours per day would you like to volunteer?
What bus will Laylee be taking home from school?
How many siblings does she have?
What are some of Laylee’s personality quirks or issues?
What is your biggest dream for her this school year?
And then I lost it. My dream for her? My dream for her? I have a dream. I have many actually. I dream that she will learn to stop calling me really loudly from the backseat of the car, only to mumble in an incoherent whisper once she has my attention. I dream that she will grow to love broccoli. I dream that she will ever begin a sentence to me without using the word “MOM!” at the front of it. I dream that she will learn things that thrill her and cause HER to dream big. I dream that she will grow in self esteem this year and have good friends who help her be better. I dream that she will always know how special she is and how much I love her.
I cried as I wrote down a couple of my dreams for her, none of which have anything to do with academics or book knowledge and then quickly wiped the tears away. I didn’t want to be THAT mom, although I’m pretty sure that nearly every first time kindergarten mom is THAT mom. It’s a special sorority of puddlehood that binds us all together.
And then I overheard Laylee and Mrs. Sweetsie talking in the next room.
Mrs S: So, what does your dad do for his job?
Laylee: He does all kinds of hilarious stuff and goes to parties.
*Mrs S: He just does fun things at work all day?
Laylee: Yeah. Oh man. This one time they took his boss and shoved his face in a BOWL OF WHIP CREAM!
Mrs S: And what does your mom do for work? Does she stay home with you or go somewhere else?
Laylee: Well sometimes for work she does gardening or just watches us kids and sometimes for work she types things on the computer so people will pay her money so she can buy us stuff.
I actually think she got my job pretty dead-on, minus the Cinderella triumvirate of the mending and the sewing and the laundry, and of course the Dr. Mario and the eating of the bonbons. It’s obvious who brings home the bacon in this family. While Dan’s off doing “hilarious stuff” and partying with whipped cream, I’m slaving away at home to make a few bucks. Sad!
Here’s a video of a work party a while back where Dan’s co-workers paid their boss $50 to let them dunk him in the creamy white goodness. Dan showed it to the kids and apparently it made quite an impression, erasing Laylee’s every memory of visiting him at MegaCorp, hearing about how he writes code all day and fixes bugs. No. Whipped cream is all-encompassing now. Not a bad job if you can get it.
*I’m not sure exactly what Mrs S replied. I was too busy listening for Laylee’s next enlightening tidbit of information to be added to our permanent file. I really think all teachers should write books about all the fascinating things their young students tell them about their home lives.
My daughter starts preschool tomorrow morning and therefore I am up on the computer composing all kinds of sappy blog posts about how she’s growing up, and these years are so short, and I dream that she will be a wonderful woman someday, and so on and so on. A sorority of puddlehood indeed, and preschool is only three mornings a week. I don’t know how I will handle kindergarten!
How do you always make your readers cry AND cry from laughing in the same post? Such nice writing. Also nice whipped cream action.
It looks like your husband DOES have a pretty tough job! You’re hilarious. Thanks for another excellently wonderful post.
Your daughter must seriously be the funniest child ever. I love reading your posts about her (and magoo)
Ah. That will be me next year. In the corner. With all the other puddles.
And dude – can my husband send your husband a resumee? He’s very good at ‘hilarious stuff.’ (As are you!)
Yes, it is ever so sobering to contemplate what our children are telling their teachers about their life right this very moment 🙂 Teachers truly could write amazingly hilarious books 🙂
I sent my last one off to Kindergarten today. Very wierd.
She’s in Kindergarten already?! Have I really been gone that long?! I’m looking forward to hearing more stories about L’s kindergarten days!
You’re going to survive this, I promise. But I know how hard it is–I thought my heart was coming out of my body when I sent my first to kindergarten. It get a LITTLE easier with subsequent kids, though not a lot. But Laylee? She’s going to be FINE.
Your best post. Evah!
My boy is off to the Big K today too. I had to take half a Xanax. I’m a bit of a mess.
“still on the teat” – comedy gold.
Good luck to you and Laylee this year. It’ll be fun. 🙂
Jake started Kindergarten yesterday…and I was a mess right when I dropped him off. But he had such a blast that it was hard to be sad for long…
I just felt completely inadequate filling out those forms. It was like a special psychology exam for the parent.
But M is off to first grade, riding a bike for heaven’s sake, because the school is too close to have buses. That one gave me pause…
Good luck ! You’ll do just fine. (and so, of course, will Laylee).
Mine just started kindergarten yesterday. The thing that really got me emotional was the siblings parting after 4 1/2 years of every waking moment together. Here’s my story:
http://www.diapersanddivinity.com/Diapers_and_Divinity/Blog/Entries/2008/9/2_Milestones.html
Thanks for sharing your fun story.
Oh! You got her! The teacher! Engineer got the new one. I’m sure she’s lovely as well. Our appointment is tomorrow…
Loved the R.E.M. reference.
I spill lots of salty tears on the first day of school. When they get to Jr. High – it is for a different reason all together.
My daughter started Kindergarten this year too. Isn’t it awful/amazing? I was a huge big crying mess. As I was hovering near the door, fighting the urge to stage a sit-in me daughter turned to her teacher and said, “She’s fine. She gets like that sometimes, but she’ll go to Starbucks and be just fine.” And with that I went to Starbucks and I was fine.
Loved your post, it absolutely made me smile.
Have a great day!
My baby (who’s 4) just started preschool, while his brothers are in 1st and 2nd grades. It’s oddly quiet around here….
Every mom is THAT mom. (Even if they’re a closet crier, like me.) My first started last week. I hope Laylee enjoys her launch into one-her-own-ness as much as Lij enjoyed his. Although he tells me nothing more about his day than that he didn’t play with clay and did boring stuff that makes his muscles strong, I know he’s enjoying himself. And it makes it a little bit easier for me to let go. Just a little bit!
Sorority.
Preschool starts today.
In 2 hours.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
We’re at the other end of the spectrum. Our youngest two piled their stuff in the car and moved away to college on Saturday night. Then Pam had the dog put down yesterday – too old and lame. [She was looking at me kind of funny, maybe something about me being old and lame. I hope she doesn’t get any ideas.] It’s really strange and different.
I’m sending you a BIG FAT HUG across the blogosphere… one weepy mom to another.
there is something so special about the kindergarten experience. even though we homeschool now, my two boys who are old enough to go to school both attended public school kinder and loved it. i saw them blossom and grow so much. and i was the same puddle of anguish and tears that you are.
but beyond the sentimental stuff, laylee’s conversation with ms. sweetsie was hysterical. priceless. i’m so glad you got to overhear it.
Wow. That whip cream clip does have quite and impact. My four year old was in the room and watched it with me. After it was over, he immediately gasped and said “Can we do it again. Please do it again.” Thanks. We both enjoyed the post.
Thank goodness Laylee didn’t get the other teacher, Ms. Meansie. And they honestly asked you how many hours a DAY you would like to volunteer? I’m starting to think this elementary school thing is too much of a comittment for me to handle. I might take that no-school home-school approach where the kids read anime and watch sci fi all day.
My sister told her Kindergarten teacher her middle name was Buckwheat! The teacher said it was all she could do to keep from cracking up in front of her.