Two things happen to me when I go garage-saleing:
1. I become incredibly, perhaps ridiculously, cheap
During the last community garage sale I found several books I’d been wanting and one I had just purchased at Borders-Tantalizing-House-of-Rip-off Reading-Material for the outlandish sum of $13. It was a small paperback book and I got it for 50 cents at the garage sale. Ironically it still had a $13.00 Borders price tag on it and was in perfect condition. So I returned it to Borders for store credit. Normally I wouldn’t have the guts to do something like this but the deals I get at garage sales just turn me into a different person, a “those grapes rang up as 99 cents/lb but the sign clearly stated they were on sale for 98 cents/lb” kind of person. So, I used the store credit to buy 3 other sale books I’d wanted. Suh-weet.
Next I head to Costco. This month they have a ton of coupons for stuff I normally buy anyway, diapers, pull-ups, Clorox wipes, bags of chocolate bigger than my torso. Well after they rang through my $200 order, I noticed on the receipt that they had missed using my Huggies coupon for the pull-ups. It was a $3.00 savings — LOST! So, I went back, had them ring it back through and they handed me three big ones. Nice!
Parenting Magazine is somewhat of a joy to me when I find time to read it so I decided to renew for another year. Two days later, I see a coupon for a free Looney Toons dish set when you subscribe to the magazine for the first time. I say, “Yo, what up, G? I’ve been a faithful subscriber to your publication for like 2 years. Where’s my free dish set — actual retail value ~50 cents?” So I call them and talk for 20 minutes to a couple of managers and supposedly there is now a note on my account somewhere that says someday someone will possibly send me something free…..maybe. Please do not calculate how much I value my time by figuring out how long I was on the phone with the muzak and what I got out of the bargain. Still, I felt empowered.
2. I feel an almost uncontrollable desire to go home and set alight 83% of my family’s personal effects. (Are they called “effects” if the people are still alive?) (Okay, maybe he’s not grateful for this one….but he should be. Our house and garage look so much nicer once they’ve been purged.)
Seeing all of those people getting rid of that stuff, I just think, “Wow, I have a lot of hud building up in my house!” So, I’ve been dejunking and throwing things away like it’s my job. I’m sure you’ve already stopped reading at this point. So I’ll stop writing. More on this fascinating topic another time.