I’m a little glum today folks. Okay. A lot glum. Wallow with me for a moment before we get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Magoo turns 3 this summer. He’s a big fat ball of toddleric cuteness and I want more.
I’ve been wanting another baby for years now and have been pushing against obstacle after obstacle to having another healthy pregnancy. My most recent and hopefully last hurdle has been working on getting my body and brain to a place where I can survive postpartum without losing my marbles.
My post partum specialist has been amazing at treating my symptoms and I’ve gone from doctor to doctor looking for someone who could find the root of what went wrong and fix it before next time. I finally found a great naturopath who I’m happy and comfortable with and she’s run a bunch of tests and we’re working on a plan to get me up and running.
It’s the first time in my adult life that I’ve had a general practitioner I’m happy with and we’ve been making good progress towards my goals.
This morning I went in to see her and she told me she’s moving to another city a few hours away. I am crushed, frustrated, sad and discouraged. I cried off and on all day. I don’t want to start meeting doctors again. I don’t want to have to tell one more person all the hairy details of my medical history. I just want to keep progressing.
Then I took Laylee in for her 5-year-old check up and the doctor’s test confirmed what I’ve been fearing. She appears to have some level of hearing damage from the repeated ear infections. My baby could be hard of hearing and we’re off to a specialist to find out more.
Magoo filled his pants as soon as we entered the exam room and I’d forgotten a diaper.
Laylee screamed like the dying when they gave her the first immunization shot. They then proceeded to give her 3 more. By the time they finished we were both crying.
I’m just tired and whiny and my foot still hurts.
My kids filled the entire house with packing peanuts and then danced them into the carpet.
It appears that it may never stop raining again.
mother of the wild boys says
Oh dear…here’s a cyberhug from me –{hug}.
boomama says
This is a big ole hug from Alabama to Washington.
What can I say. My arms are very long.
🙂
Mir says
Oh, honey. Big hugs coming your way. How frustrating and disheartening. BUT! (You knew there was a but, right?) You need to ask the doc you love to tell you who to go see, instead. Most likely she’ll be your best source for someone who practices similarly. As for the rest… this too shall pass. Promise.
Megan says
THE….. Sun’ll come out tommorrow!
bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow!
There’ll be SUN!
(No kidding! Check your weather report!)
http://www.weather.com/weather/local/USWA0395?from=search_city
Mary says
I’m sorry you are feeling so down. That’s so frustrating! From the doctor moving to the poop filled pants, you had a rough day! And i have to comisserate about the packing peanuts danced into the carpet. We’ve seen that at our little house and those things don’t like to be vaccuumed.
Perhaps a date with your hubby, or even a little ice cream therapy is in order. Oh, and I second whoever said to ask your doctor you love for a name of a new one, hopefully you will love just as much without all the searching. Good luck and hugs to you!
Melissa says
From a Mom whose boys are now 21 and 17, this too shall pass. I know it’s hard when you’re in the middle of it, but one day you will look back on today with fondness for “the way things were”.
I’m sending you a big hug from FL here, hoping that it will help brighten your day.
BTW, a dear friend of mine suffered from Post Partum Depression way back in the day. What worked for her (long before the meds available today) was to make sure she did some kind of exercise that made her sweat for at least 20 minutes a day.
She made it a habit to dance with her littles every day. She still makes sure she sweats 20 minutes a day, but all her kids remember is how much fun mommy was because she was always dancing! Bonus, she’s still got a great figure. 🙂
Melissa in FL
cheryl says
Hindsight is always 20/20. One day, you’ll look back at this and see the blessings. Or, perhaps you will repress and forget, and repressing and forgetting is almost just as good!!
I agree with Mir–ask your doctor to give you some referrals! It’s the least she can do, what with moving away on you like that.
I’m sorry about the hearing loss. That stinks. Maybe you could find some Signing Time? Yes! Start watching Signing Time with your kiddies, and who knows? It may help you get through the Thundering Threes with Magoo this next year, too.
Last quote (totally cheezy, but awesomely true): It’s always the darkest before the dawn.
Here’s a hug comin’ your way…. (pretend you now have the hug!).
Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck says
I third (or maybe fourth at this point) getting a referral from your current doc–she must be able to recommend someone who has a similar practice.
As for the rest of it, ack, that all sucks. To the Nth degree. I’m sorry and I hope tomorrow is better, that’s all I can say.
Carrie says
Oh, that’s a tough day… and the weather does not help, does it! Hope things get better soon.
jennyonthespot says
Golly… I have an opinion… but I think what your really need is to rejoice in the fact there is a wicked-awesome run of sun-filled days coming soon – after we get through today! Sunny, sunny, sunny – it’ll dry the mold in our hair and everything 🙂
If you find your family needs to get away – the wildly popular Viking Fest is happening this weekend in the exciting bayside town of Poulsbo… there will be a carnival with creepy people, elephant ears to get your kid’s spinning, a parade with chubby Shriner’s men in gold-lame’ short tops, and a whole village of smelly Vikings! If ever there were a distraction…
🙂
Kimberly Coleman says
What’s those four words? “This too shall pass”
(I hope that everything works out towards your happiness!)
All Adither says
That does sound rough. It’s so hard when good doctors that we trust and who listen to us make themselves unavailable somehow. Does she have recommendations for other good doctors in the area? (though i know this doesn’t sound good to you right now).
The sun is supposed to come out soon! Today or tomorrow! Hang in there.
allysha says
I’m so sorry. That’s a lot to deal with. I’m not a fan a platitudes, but I really do think that things will work themselves out. Hang in there while they do!
kate says
I don’t have anything pithy or cute or exciting to write, I just wanted to let you know that I hear you, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I, too, had a long struggle to find an MD that I like, and I cannot even begin to figure out what I will do if she moves away. I’m sad for you.
However, I also want to assure you that it will stop raining. Even if it seems like it may never stop, it will. I promise.
Awesome Mom says
I know how hard it is to have a doctor leave. My OB quit privet practice and I was bereft. Luckily we have not had another baby, so I have not hat to find a new one. I am also super sad that we have to leave my eldest son’s awesome cardiologist that has cared for him since he was a tiny baby. I know that there are perfectly adequate doctors where we are moving to, but it just will not be the same.
I think that we have all had the poopy diaper at the doctor’s office and not had a diaper. It is especially bad because the room is small and the smell quickly becomes overpowering.
Hang in there!
Kat says
It can’t rain all the time.
mother of the wild boys says
I forgot to add, that Signing Time lady on PBS totally reminds me of you every time I watch the show with my wild boys. 😀
Also, my boys’ school has these cool wireless microphones that the teachers wear on a lanyard around their neck to benefit those with hearing loss. It’s so much easier to hear over the chatter of little voices! As you near the time for sweet Laylee to enter school, keep this idea in mind. Ask about it, they might have it already or be open to installing one. 🙂
Rebecca says
You know what made a big difference for me was making sure that I gave birth to my kids in the spring and not in the middle of the winter – that sunlight helps a lot. But wise you for trying to get as healthy as you can before trying again.
I’ve recently felt happy again for the first time in months – I’m hoping for the same thing for you.
Isabel says
It’s supposed to get up to 90 on Friday. I don’t know about you, but that always makes me feel better.
Good luck.
Michele says
You know…. a couple of hours away is really not that far…. You won’t go every day. Even if you go monthly, it just might be worth the road trip. When I moved from Ogden to Orem (somewhere around 1.5-maybe 2 hours each way depending on traffic) I just couldn’t give up my OB-GYN. I traveled for her and delivered in Ogden too. It is a can do. Not very convenient, but a can do.
As for Magoo, poop happens, what can ya say.
And you can deal with Laylee’s hearing when you see the specialist and can put it into perspective.
I’m not minimizing how you feel right now, really!!! You are a can-do girl, and you’ll pick yourself up, dust em off and see good everywhere again very soon.
Stephanie says
Come get a hug.
andi says
To use my favorite movie quote: “That sucks and I’m sorry it’s happening to you.”
Carrie says
(((Hugs)))
maggie says
I cried when my old doctor moved away too. And I am scared to death about postpartum insanity when this second one arrives, in September, right in time for NO MORE SUN EVER.
But tomorrow! Will be sunny!
T with Honey says
Try dancing in the packing peanuts with them. If that doesn’t help find some bubble wrap and start stomping on it.
Sometimes it helps to let go and be a little crazy to keep from going completely bonkers. 😉
The Wiz says
Well, I’m not a doc or anything, but I’ll say that all your healthful foods will really make a difference this (next) time. Being on the lookout for it really will help, too, and I second the sunshine and exercise ideas, although I’m SURE you know this already.
Also, and I’m still not a doc, but hearing loss at this age is often reversible, from what I hear. I heard this from my sister, whose daughter had hearing loss at a similar age and is just fine now. It just really matters how early you catch it.
It’s just RUDE when people move away without asking.
Liz says
Honey, I’m sorry. Rough days suck. And I didn’t say it before, but I’m so glad you got your wedding rings back from the depths of despair.
((hugs)) ((more hugs))
Kris says
I’m sorry you had such a bad day. I say it’s OK to wallow once in a while. Sometimes things are just hard and you have to acknowledge & experience that before you move onward & upward!
I was wondering, too, if it would be worth it to travel to your doctor after she moves – maybe!
Kathryn in NZ says
Hugs n vibes!!!!!
Debra says
Sorry you’re having such a stinky day.
Chiming in with the others when I say:
Ask your naturopath to recommend a replacement. It’s highly likely that her recommendation will be a pretty close match to her.
I know. I know. Still not “her” though.
Casey says
Lord, honey, take it easy as much as you can right now. Things will get better. They may not get any cleaner (those packing peanuts are like static-powered glue) but they’ll get better.
Proud Daughter of Eve says
Boy do I know how you feel. I want to get started on our family but certain key ducks (like an income that’ll keep coming in) just refuse to line up. We’re working on it but there’s only so much we can do about it.
I blame the low birth-rate for the dearth of teaching jobs. *shouts to the rest of the world* Support teachers and schools: have more kids!
Renaedujour says
I’m so glad to see it confirmed: SUN TOMORROW.
If it’s not sunny tomorrow I will be spitting angry.
sweet mama entropy says
Oh, DYM! What can I say? I hope things seem sunnier tomorrow (as they so often do). In the meantime, sending you a great big e-hug… feel better soon!
Beth says
{{HUGS}}
Tiffany says
Waaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! Yuck, yuck, yuck. Sounds really cruddy.
Sometimes I just need someone to sympathize without trying to make it better or cheer me up. So, I’ll wallow with you.
Jamie says
Sorry to hear that your day has been a lousy one. I’ve had one of those this week, too, and all I wanted was to slink off into a corner and suck my thumb. (Um, except not literally.)
I hope tomorrow is much, much better for you.
Cheetah says
Don’t give up Honey!!! Doesn’t she know someone who is great?? That has always helped me. I moved away from my great help, decided I was fine for 4 months and only sought help when I crashed. Don’t DO THAT! Some one else is out there!!
It’s been over 5 years since my only pregnancy. There are hard days over not having another one yet, but the only real peace i find is accepting what I have and trusting the heavens. I do blame myself at times thinking that if I just try harder, I’ll get better sooner and have another one, but that is silly. We’re human, there is only so much we can do. Baby #3 will come to you when God knows you are ready. I promise:-)
I’m sorry to hear about the lack of hearing. Crazy hey? I hope there is great technology that can make her ears as normal as possible.
Kimberly (sassy piggy) says
That’s what I call a “rough mommy day”, which is putting it lightly. I recommend a babysitter and a movie night with your sweetie and your favorite treats. Just to think about something else for awhile. Hope things perk up for you. If it’s 70 degrees where I live, it should surely be as nice if not better where you live!
April says
I know how you feel Kathryn. In the past five years I have had my naturopath move to Canada, my first midwife no longer practices, and my second midwife moved to Mexico. It makes me want to move to the jungle with my family and live off the land and birth my babies in a cave somewhere. I hope you’ll find a new naturopath that will be better than the first. It’s possible!
KYouell says
Wow.
I’m having doctor-finding problems too. The Cupcake hasn’t had an immunization since she was 2mo (doctor closed his practice, we went on vacation, doctor that took over the practice closed his office due to a medical emergency, we moved, took forever to get insurance cards, yada) and The Biscuit is over-due for a cardiologist check-up and needs to get back into speech therapy. I empathize.
I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, but as a Sign Language Interpreter with 3 deaf cousins I feel I must speak up. Hearing loss is NOT the end of the world (friendly loving emphasis there). You have a girl that chats your ear off, so it’s hard to imagine that she’s had a serious loss of hearing in the “speech banana”. If a bit of a loss happened that doesn’t mean that she will have any long-term effects, whether or not it reverses itself as someone else suggested. And if you want to chat casually with someone that has studied in this area, has a special-needs kid that requires signs to communicate, and is not a medical person trying to push you in a cure direction you’ve got my email address.
Hugs again!