Procrastinator seems like a made up word, like slang for someone who procrastins. It makes me think of the rodenator or a guy who would give me the wink and the gun and call me Kate-inator.
Well I’ve been procrastinatorating filling out my absentee ballot, or to be more exact, I’ve been putting off researching candidates and initiatives so that I’d have a clue how to fill out my absentee ballot for today’s election.
I’m coming to believe it’s impossible to be completely informed about who I’m voting for. I can read the voter information pamphlet, stare into the candidates’ black and newsprint-colored eyes and try to gauge the temperature of their souls. I can get out a magnifying glass and try to determine whether or not they floss their giant banana shaped tooth. It’s also useful to count up the total minutes of conflicting and deceptive TV ads for both sides of each issue, multiply them by 8 and vote for the one with the smallest amount of small print. Sometimes I find useful information online or on local newsgroups or in email forwards Dan gets at work listing the candidates’ bizarre habits and favorite flavors of lip gloss.
There’s really no way to know absolutely what the best choice will be in every single race. For initiatives I usually vote for the side that’s supported by the groups I trust most on that particular issue. It’s not foolproof but it’s worked for me so far.
Well I completely forgot about the ballot as it was sitting on top of the fridge in my basket of things that are so important for me to do that I hide them in a basket on top of the fridge where I will never think of them or ever do them. As I was leaving a friend’s house this evening, she reminded me to vote. For what? So You Think You Can Dance doesn’t start again till the summer. Oh, that one democratic election thingy.
“Well,” I told her, “I haven’t missed voting in an election since I turned 18. I guess I missed this one.”
But on the way home, I was overcome with guilt. If I didn’t vote and the public school initiative didn’t pass, what would I tell Nancy my PTA-volunteering, public school-lubbin’ friend? I must vote in every election. What if the lady who loves mint-apple lip gloss got to be on my city council? I could not abide it. So I pulled out my information packet, did some speedy research and voted to the best of my abilities.
Laylee was concerned.
“Why are you boating?”
“I’m VOTing to help decide who gets to be in charge of our country.”
With wide-eyed concern she protested, “But I don’t want ANYONE to be in charge of our country. I just want it to be America so we can have our America flag.”
I tried to explain that America is still American, even if someone is the boss of it.
I don’t think she bought it.