When we moved into this house, it was with the understanding that the mangled filthy mini-blinds would vacate immediately, if not sooner.
I could have cleaned them 7 months ago but I knew we would be replacing them AT ANYÂ MOMENT so I didn’t bother.Â Â My solution has been to keep them up at all times so I don’t have to constantly be faced with the previous owner’s dinner splatter from the great spaghetti adventure of 1991.
Consequently, the squirrels in the forest behind our house are constantly faced with me shlepping around in my bathrobe.Â But dude, they’re naked and I don’t think I’ve ever seenÂ them putting on deodorant.Â So why don’tÂ they get some blinds and stop yelling at me?
Our heating bill for the last 2 months indicates that any measure we could take to reduce energy consumption would be for the benefit of society and may keep us from losing the farm.Â So we’ve decided to close the blinds at night to help keep the heat in.Â
It’s actually working but tonight I closed them too early.Â I sat at dinner, staring at a flat spider body, pressed perfectly between the metal blinds like a daisy in a poetry book, only spookier and less appetizing.Â I stared at it for 10 minutes before I got up to get a paper towel.Â The spider is gone now and I’m even thinking about taking some Pine-sol and a blow-torch to those things.
Considering that we’re now counting all of our expenses in terms of hours of preschool, making do with the blinds we have may be our ticket to Laylee’s pre-K education.