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All He Wanted Was a Piece of Fruit

August 8, 2006 by Kathryn

My good friends, parents of Big Moses (the underwear swapping boy), are jumping ship and moving to California. As a faithful Seattle area resident for the past 3+ years, I find this traitorous move extremely unforgivably traitorous.

I just got the invitation to their going away shindig and it has been asked that we bring nothing but fruit to the memorial services, at Big Daddy Mo’s request. It was listed as his “final” request.

This is troubling to me on many levels. Will there be a firing squad after the beach ball volleyball? Is he too good for The Best Cookies in the State of Washington? In his fruitalicious plea, is he suggesting something about the people of California or his fellow Washingtonians? Dude. We can’t even bring granola?

And finally, if you’re reading this Big Mamma Mo — so help me if this is the final request I get out of you. Seriously, if we lose contact — I will hunt you down and I’m gonna be wielding something more powerful than a piece of fruit.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. surcie says

    August 9, 2006 at 9:24 am

    OMG, I unwittingly introduced Laylee to Bratz?! Nooooo!

    I’m just curious. What else might you wield?

  2. Pam in Utah says

    August 9, 2006 at 9:51 am

    HE may be into eating healthy, but I know your cooking and by jove, I’d pick the cookies any day. Yes, yes I would!( However fruit DOES sound good!)

  3. Jodi Jean says

    August 9, 2006 at 10:03 am

    hmmmm i wonder what part of california…

  4. Thoroughly Mormon Millie says

    August 9, 2006 at 12:00 pm

    I’d force-feed prunes to any “last request” offender.

  5. Stephanie says

    August 9, 2006 at 12:16 pm

    They’re really leaving? Man, you are being abandoned…

  6. emlouisa says

    August 10, 2006 at 12:28 pm

    I’m sorry your friends are leaving!! My best friend is moving in the next while too and I am totally sad. I may kidnap her so that she doesn’t have to leave.

    Boo.

  7. californiazenmom says

    August 10, 2006 at 11:46 pm

    Okay, Big Momma Mo FINALLY checking in here…late…because we are in the crazy middle of buying a house, selling a house and all the accompanying hair-pulling insanity of it all.

    My DH has this THING about “where two or more are gathered” there must be brownies. I, however, LOVE all cookies, brownies, pie, etc. ESPECIALLY, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, BOOTLEGGED COOKIES, wink wink, brought to “two or more” gatherings, ESPECIALLY this Saturday. 🙂

    And…we’re not really “jumping ship”, because technically California WAS the “ship” and we “jumped” here, which would make Seattle…the deserted island??? Which would make me…Maryann and DYM…Ginger!

    We are VERY sad to be leaving all our wonderful friends — who is Big Moses going to swap underwear with now? Who will think first of cameras, second of strobe lights and third of Big Moses when Big Moses pulls the fire alarm at some CA church??? Hmmmmmm???

    But…don’t think of it as losing a friend…think of it as gaining a permanent reservation at a French Bed & Breakfast “near” Sea World, Disneyland, the Wild Animal Park, the beach and “El Sol”. That you take me up on that, THAT is MY final request. 🙂

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