If you walk past a grape on the floor and think, “I should pick that up later,” you will be the one to step on it. Guaranteed.
Archives for August 2007
Real Men Watch Victorian Romance Movies
And they LIKE them!
Wives and Daughters finally came up in my Netflix queue last week and the first disc in the BBC miniseries arrived by mail much to my girlish glee and delight.
Dan got home from work when I was about halfway through the first disc and after a brief rundown of the major characters and their likeliness to make advantageous matches with each other, he was hooked. WHAT would happen to Miss Molly? What, indeed!
The disc ended at the most cliffhangerish of cliffhangers and we were left wondering whether a girl of nearly twenty would be doomed to remain a spinster, or more importantly, whether the 10 pounds her father provided for ribbons and gowns would be enough to make her quite suitable for the many balls she would attend in the meantime.
I sent the disc back and waited anxiously for the conclusion to arrive in my mailbox. Yesterday it DID! I asked Dan semi-sarcastically if he’d like me to wait so he could watch it with me. He said he really wanted to see what happened and we cuddled up to view the enchanting finale.
As the movie started, Stephanie’s husband who’s staying with us this week got home from work and asked what we were watching. When we told him he said, “Those shows can really hook you in, where you just have to know what happens next.” He decided to keep his distance.
10 minutes later I heard him sigh from the kitchen where he had been eavesdropping, “Oh FINE!” He headed over to the couch, dinner plate in hand, and plunked himself down next to Dan.
They commentated throughout the movie with me and hazarded guesses about what would happen next. They referred to the characters by their names and asked questions like, “Why does he get called ”˜Mr. Osbourne’ when they just call his brother ”˜Roger’?” and, “Wouldn’t that be hard to do in a corset?” They clapped their hands and laughed out loud at the funny parts and they cringed at the DRAMA OF IT ALL.
Dan held me like a baby during the moments of repressed passion and romance, the parts that left me clasping my hands to my tender bosom, whilst tears welled up in my eyes.
It was the best movie-watching experience of my married life. And when it was over and our house guest was safely out of earshot, I turned to Dan and said, “Oh, Mr. Roger. Would you take me upstairs?”
“Nothing could please me more,” he exclaimed and my heart grew three sizes.
Lunch Engine Optimization
I hear a lot of people talking shmack about Search Engine Optimization, the art of getting your website as high in the search results as possible on Google, MSN, Yahoo or Hakia.
There are many ways to do this. One is to creatively add popular keywords all over your site, in your post titles, your categories and tags, anywhere that would be picked up by a search engine. If you say “Purple Manatees” 400 times on the front page of your website, chances are you will rank pretty high on an MSN search for purple manatees. If you say “purple manatees” 400 times AND “large redish-blue sea creatures that are also known as cows of the sea, who live in the ocean in salt water and swim like fishes even though they’re mammals who are larger than PARIS HILTON or BRITNEY SPEARS,” you really broaden the search results people can use to find your site.
I’ve never really done this, but I hear the key is to use terms that a lot of people search for and to use as many different terms as possible.
Today I noticed that although I don’t do this on my website, I totally do it to get my kids to put the lunch I’ve made high on their personal search results page. Laylee wanted peanut butter and Magoo just wanted some BREAD!
Instead of — “peanut butter sandwiches,” I made, “Peanut butter and jam sandwiches on bread with pink jelly, sugar sauce that tastes like candy, creamy brown sauce, squishy homemade pastry and protein.”
That way, if they’re searching for peanuts, butter, jam, sandwiches, bread, pink things, jelly/jello/gelatinous anything, sugar, sauce, brown items, things that squish, homemade things, pastries, or vital protein-type nutrients, my PB&J creation will match their search perfectly.
Tomorrow I may whip up some “Kraft macaroni and cheese, slightly overcooked but almost al dente, pasta noodles with orange cheesish sauce, made with milk (an ingredient also found in ice cream), butter, unknown chemicals, saturated fat, refined carbohydrates, fun, slurpable goodness and joy.”
the reasons: cilantro, blue sky, Dan greeting me in the morning with an invitation to go clothes shopping
WE DON’T YELL IN THIS FAMILY!
Yesterday I caught myself yelling at the top of my lungs for them to just be quiet. I put Laylee in timeout. “Laylee,” I said calmly, “Do we yell in this family?”
She looked up at me with utter confusion, a look that said… [read more]
President James E. Faust
I know that most of the readers of this site are not LDS but several of you are so I feel like I can express my feelings of love and sympathy to the family of President James E. Faust this morning. He’s a longtime member of the First Presidency of my church and he passed away early this morning. I will personally remember him for his gentle and kind nature and the sincerity of his teaching and testimony of Jesus Christ. I will miss him.
To Review or Not to Review
I periodically sign up to receive review copies of books that seem interesting to me. The books arrive and I open them with anticipation. I touch and cuddle the books and put them on a stack next to my computer, waiting for the magical day when I will suddenly be overcome with the desire to stop everything I’m doing and read them.
This day never comes. If you take a somewhat lame book that I purchased on a whim and stack it next to a quality book that I’m obligated to read and review, I will almost always pick the whim book because there are no strings attached. So I’m trying to figure out whether to do any more of these reviews. On the one hand, I like getting great new books free in the mail. On the other hand, I don’t want to read them because I feel like I HAVE to.
So, I’ve been reading through my stack the past few weeks and I’m hoping to get all my reviews up soon and then decide if I’ll do any more. Do you all like book reviews on this site? Honest opinions please.
Poetry Speaks To Children
We took my review copy of Poetry Speaks to Children on vacation with us this July to try it out with the kids. It’s a hard cover picture book of poetry compiled by Elise Paschen with poems written by just about every famous poet around and a few I’d never heard of.
It comes with a CD containing readings of nearly all the poems, many of them read by the authors themselves. The track numbers are clearly listed on each page so it’s easy to follow along as you read, even if you’re too little to read words yet.
Dan and I loved the book and most of the readings. Some of the recordings are not super high quality and some of the authors are not excellent readers. Still it was fascinating to hear the voice inflections of the people who originally penned the words, a novelty that was lost on my 2 and 4-year-old but which I think older kids and adults would really appreciate.
My kids enjoyed it more when I read the book to them myself. The gorgeous illustrations really captured their imaginations (Well, Laylee’s imagination. This was still a bit of a stretch for Magoo.) and overall the experience was a success.
I think it would make a great gift for an elementary school aged child, one they might not appreciate at first but their parents would love you for and it would become a favorite as they learned to dive in and love the world of poetry.
At What Age Does a Crib Become a Cage?
Tonight as I was kissing my little Magooly man-child through the bars of his wooden prison I wondered, “At what point must he be liberated, free to (heaven have mercy!) roam the estate at night while we’re sleeping?”
I don’t think the time is now, but the fact that I’m asking the question makes me think the time is soon… and I fear for all our lives.
Business Executives Are Like Me
At BlogHer I learned that business executives are a lot like me.
First of all, in order to be successful they need to have a plan and some good management.
I got to meet one of my all time home organization idols Kathy Peel. Yes I have home organization idols. When I saw that AOL Body was offering the chance to eat lunch with Kathy, I. Flipped. Out. When Dan and I got married, I was troubled with the thought of quitting my professional life to be a baby machine and I decided to read everything I could on Home Management, Organization and Child Rearing so that I could really start thinking of my mom life as a career. I wanted to put every bit as much effort into my new role as I had in the business world.
Kathy’s books really spoke to me because she writes from a business perspective, using solid business practices and team building techniques to whip any home into shape. She helps you find solutions that work for you and she’s just a wonderful person. I think I got a little drool on her jean jacket as she was signing my book and she pretended not to mind. Honestly, there are very few celebrities who could get me that excited. (No, not even the Backstreet Boys.)
So, I want to run my home like a business, a fun, slightly messy, relaxed sort of business. I’ve let a lot of her advice get lost in the process of OH-MY-WORD-I-HAVE-CHILDREN-HELP-ME-ITIS, but last weekend Kathy got me back on track and I’m ready to get serious again.
Secondly, they like to give away free stuff, free stuff with their name plastered all over it, free stuff that for some reason ignites controversy in the blogosphere, but free stuff nonetheless. I like to give away free stuff too! I love it.
If I could have a job where I just handed out fabulous prizes all day long, I would take that job. Actually, I sort of have that job already. “Does anyone want a peanut butter sandwich, a clean bum, a rubberband to play with? I’ve got everything to make your wildest dreams come true!”
Going back to writing your name all over your stuff, did you ever see the Sesame Street episode with Donald Grump, a Grouch who owns more trash than anyone else in the world and insists on writing his name all over all his trash? I did. And I liked it. And I thought of it when I saw the new Trump Towers in Chicago with “TRUMP” written on every pillar. Um… yeah.
Third and lastly, when my kids fight over a toy, I’ve been known to put it in timeout. According to my architectural riverboat tour guide, the executives at Amoco were fighting so bitterly over corner office space when their 80 story tower (photo above) went up that the CEO had all the corners removed from the building and put them in timeout indefinitely.
Seattle Mom Blogs
Jenny, Eve and I stayed up WAY too late in Chicago and came up with all kinds of ideas. We decided to make up songs and sing in an atonal vibrato. We decided to jump from bed to bed wearing capes. And we decided to set up a community to encourage and promote moms who blog in the Greater Seattle Area.
If you’re a mom who blogs from anywhere in or around Seattle, please join us as we try to connect, support each other and undoubtedly take over the world.
Anyone is free to go over and nominate one of your favorite posts for the month. The post does not need to be by a Seattle blogger. The nominator does not need to be a Seattle blogger. However, only the academy of Seattle bloggers will be able to vote on the winner. We’d love your nominations!