Archives for August 2007

Some people call them “bathrooms.” This is strange. For the most part they contain no bath tubs so I’m not really sure how that’s supposed to work. False advertising I say.

Some refer to them as “restrooms.” Also odd. There’s very little I find restful about these facilities, especially public ones, especially with little people who must EXPERIENCE every surface with as many body parts as possible.

In Canada they’ve decided to go for positive message reinforcement. They call them “washrooms” to remind all people that no matter how much you’ve experienced in the room, there’s always a simple solution — WASHING yourself.

This comforts me.

Especially when I go into washrooms as nasty as the one where I found this sign:

Now, if I saw a sign like this in a washroom where someone had accidentally spilled a piece of urine, I might go up to the employee and inform her of the unfortunate marring of her otherwise fabulous palace of human waste.

However, when the washroom itself seems to be made of sludge, with greasy grime so thick I could carve my name on the walls with the lollipop stick on the floor behind the toilet… if I could pry it loose, I assume the employees know exactly what the room looks like or they’re blind. And if they’re blind, I’d really not like to be the one to force them to swab that scum-hole.

In other washroom news, I found Canada to be rich in baby changing tables. I found these instructions amusing:

If my child is old enough to lay out a table liner, fasten herself in, change herself, and dispose of the garbage, I figure she’s old enough to be left unattended whether or not stars will spurt out of her head. She’s probably old enough to be potty trained too, come to think of it.

Well, we’re back from a lovely 9 days of playing in Calgary and camping in Banff. I hadn’t been back up to Alberta for over 10 years and I’d never taken Dan or the kids up there. More pictures and details will follow.

While I was away, I had a few post-dated posts show up on my blog, kind of like timered lights to protect my vacant cyber-house. Who knew the mushroom would be such a big hit?

It always makes me nervous when I see someone post that they’re going to be on vacation. I play the “if I were a perpetrator” game and think, “If I were a perpetrator, I would keyword search the blogosphere to find out who was out of town, track down their address and rob them.” It’s a fun game. It’s a game that combined with the “if I were a hungry bear game” makes me terrified to go alone to the campsite bathroom at night and therefore makes me need to pee 5 times more than usual. It’s almost as fun as being pregnant.

And thanks to Heffalump for spurring me on to start instituting niceness into my life and blog from now on. I’ll work on it, I promise.