I had no idea things were deteriorating this quickly. She’s always shown a preference for soft fabrics but I thought it would take her more than 4 years of life to spiral downward into a world clothed exclusively by stretch pants. Her future now seems certain. She’ll be shuffling around in a floral house dress by age 12.
Yesterday when I was getting her dressed for school, she complained that her jeans were uncomfortable. “When I wear them I feel like my legs are bleeding,” she whined dramatically, tugging at the legs of her pants. “I want to wear soft pants only.”
“But these are warmer and the fabric is stronger. They look really nice.”
“But they hurt so-ho-ho ba-ha-had! If I need warm pants, I can wear the ones that are made out of fleece.”
Her useable wardrobe is now limited to sweats, stretch pants, leggings, pajamas and princess gowns and I’m a little worried. Don’t get me wrong. I love me a comfy pair of “yoga pants.” The new title “yoga pants” sounds so much more chic and active than “stretch pants” or “spandex”. I’m well pleased with it. However, I don’t wear them out in public, except to the gym and it’s taken me years as a stay at home mom to love them as much as I do right now. I’m guessing I’ll need to give birth to at least 2 more kids before I degenerate to the point where I wear them at all times and in all places.
Laylee on the other hand has already given in. She has no desire to rage against the dying of the light. She cares only for comfort.
I think my only option is to get her hooked on yoga or some other brand of near-eastern fitness craze. Then we can always tell people that she’s on her way to work out.
Now when the stretch pants get too scratchy and she’s ready to move on to muumuus, I’m not sure what I’ll tell people. Maybe, “Her grandkids are coming over and she’s got a whole bushel of beets to pickle.”