Parenting

The thing I like most about the monitor is that you don’t have to guess what these people are saying.

How old were your kids when you stopped using a monitor?

I’m beginning to the think the Tears for Fears song “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” was written about my children, and yes, possibly about me.

I was sitting on a plane coming home…(more…)

I hear things when I eat.

At restaurants I eavesdrop study human nature by listening to the people around me.

At home, human nature is shoved in my face as Laylee talks and talks her way through each meal. I love it… most of the time.

A couple of days ago, we were eating lunch at Enchilada Town when I heard the teenaged girl in the next booth order her drink. “I’d like a pink lemonade please — non-alcoholic.” Wuss. She must not have had a fake ID. How embarrassing to have to order non-alcoholic lemonade.

Today at lunch, Laylee started the conversation by asking me, “Can you please be exactly like Isabellov’s mom?”
Me: What does she do that’s so special?
Laylee: I don’t know. You just do it, okay?

A couple of bites later, she asked me, “Why are you not as pretty as me?”

I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Isabellov’s mom?

“Fostering Apathy and Cynicism in a Generation that Needs More Hope”

I can’t imagine why that title wouldn’t appeal to a broad audience of casual weekend readers, but that’s just me.

(UPDATE: The subtitle is now restored and truthfully it looks a tad “big” over there.)

If that title doesn’t appeal to you, then just go play in a pile of leaf this weekend. When the leaves in your backyard are this big, you only need one or two.

Magoo has become addicted to string “cheece.” After 2 string cheeces yesterday, I had a hard time explaining to Laylee why I was rejecting his pitiful cries for more cheece. The bowels, the stoppage. Dude, mom. It’s just cheece.

I explained ad nauseum about variety and how our bodies will only grow healthy and strong if we eat a lot of different foods. If we eat the same thing every meal we’ll die a hideous constipated death, etc.

Laylee: Okay then. What’s for dinner?
Me: Oh. I’m making cheese sandwiches.

Yes I did.

No she didn’t.

But if she had, I would have explained that cheese sandwiches use orange cheese, which might as well be from a different planet than string “cheece.” They’re not even pronounced the same.

What do you do to entertain your kids when they are too-sick-to-go-outside but not-sick-enough-to-lie-passively on-the-couch? Or when one is sick and the other is bored silly?

What are some alternatives to TV-watching for little kids (under three) when Mommy is too sick to do anything but lie on the couch?

These questions are brought to you by Keryn.

A few answers can be found on Tuesdays past. I had a great answer to the first part of the question but then I read the second part and was all…um…TV-free…of coouuurse.

1. Buckets — Obviously you’d want a barf bucket handy. Another good one is a bucket, bowl or Rubbermaid tote full of beans (preferably uncooked) and some cups and scoops to dig with. They love it and the beans are easier to clean up than sand or rice.

2. Finger painting with pudding. You can choose colored varieties like banana, chocolate, butterscotch and pistachio or you can just use vanilla and color it with food coloring. Have them paint on LARGE paper or plates and then can lick themselves off. I discourage cross-contamination by “helping” each other get clean, especially if only one is sick.

3. Make them clean. Like the other two, I have used this. When I just can’t get up off the couch, I have Laylee clean her room which takes anywhere from 1 to 10 hours. There’s a lot of whining but I can handle that in a semi-narcoleptic state.

4. Tell them they’re your mommy. When I’m sick, I like to have Laylee pretend she’s my mommy. She covers me with blankets, reads me stories, brushes my hair and sings to me. I encourage the singing so if it stops, I know to freak out and go searching for body parts.

I’m sure you all can do better than this. Please answer Keryn’s question so I can steal your ideas next time one of us goes down.

reasons: 83 more sleeps, Papa Murphy, spider-cide spray in my crawlspace

Over here.

How do I regain innocence in a world where ignorance is no longer an option?

My motherhood is my renewed connection with all that is good in the world, and my magnifying glass over all that is frightening and wrong. My children are the hope that makes tomorrow unquestionably worthwhile.

I find it fitting that my post today is over at Parenting, a company based out of New York City.