Magoo loves Lego Star Warts so much! I’m finding I love him too much to allow him to keep playing daily.
Parenting
Regarding Magoo
Do you remember the movie Regarding Henry with Harrison Ford, where he gets shot and turns into a vegetable and then has to do all kinds of rehab just to be able to speak and move his limbs and he has a huge transformation and it’s all kinds of inspiring?
Well we had a similar experience this morning only without Annette Benning, head wounds or physical therapy equipment.
You see Magoo is 3 and a half and absolutely refuses to put on his own socks. I’ll put them on his lap and he just lets them lay there all limp and sad and looks up at me with dog eyes and cries, “CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME! I CAN’T DO IT! IT’S TOO HARD!!”
I usually cave after a couple of minutes in interests of time if not of mercy. I know he’s old enough to do this but he’s used to be being the baby boy and frankly he’s too lazy to rehabilitate himself to the point where he can put on his own socks, or should I say “habilitate” since he’s never known how.
So this morning I had about an hour to spare before yoga class and a good incentive, a trip to his best friend’s house while I worked out, and I sat him down for an intense sock therapy session.
“I can’t do it!”
“I know you can. You’re such a big boy and you’re so good at trying and learning new things.”
“But I CA-A-A-AN’T! Please help me!”
“I’ll sit right here with you the whole time and you just try. Just pull the sock onto your toes to start.”
He pulled the sock barely over his little toesies and then threw his hands down to the sides.
“I can’t do it anymore. It’s too hard!”
“Oh but you’re doing so great already. You’ve got to keep trying.”
“I just can’t”
This went on for about 10 minutes, the coaxing, the cajoling, the whining and the cheer-leading. The first sock inched it’s way on slower than a slug on a tomato plant. Then he absolutely refused to do the second sock. Waterworks filled our family room. His struggles were too great to bear.
“If you don’t have socks on, you can’t go to River’s house.”
TA-DA. The second sock was on in less than 30 seconds.
And then it hit me. Somebody should have told Henry he couldn’t have a play date until he started walking and talking like a normal person and he’d have been painting Ritz crackers and fighting corporate corruption tons sooner. It would have been like a 10 minute movie. Oh. Maybe that’s why they dragged it out.
Either way. Guess whether or not I’m gonna be putting Magoo’s socks on for him tomorrow.
Nearly Six
Each night in your prayers, you thank God for yourself and you mean it. You are absolutely tickled with who you are.
You see yourself as a fashionista. To school yesterday you wore a brown, teal and cream plaid dress with a white and red patterned t-shirt overtop, hot pink flowered tights and white tennis shoes. You found yourself unable to walk for the prancing.
I fixed your hair extra special that day to offset your extra special outfit and so your teacher would know you were not being neglected at home.
At dinner tonight you balked at the pizza I’d ordered and asked me to not make you finish your slice of pizza if you ate your entire huge portion of broccoli. You said you’d really rather eat my lentil soup.
Ever since I told you that getting down from the table during dinner meant that you would fall in hot lava, you always ask politely for a lava pass before getting up for extra napkins, forks or condiments.
Your favorite things to draw are robots. They are all nearly identical. They are happy and seem like nice robots, not the kind to develop artificial intelligence, turn on their human masters and lay waste to our planet. I like that.
Tonight at dinner I tried to pray in a more casual way like I was talking to Heavenly Father right there in the room. I rambled on about our day the way I would talk to any friend. I told him that we missed him and wished we could see him for dinner tonight. I wanted you to get a sense that he was really listening, that he was real. When I said amen, you wiped away a tear and said, “I think I’m just crying from happiness. That was a really good prayer!”
Yesterday you told me that you’d rather receive gifts from Santa than from regular people because they’re fresher. While a gift from your mom has probably been sitting around the store for who knows how long, a gift from Santa is just freshly made by the elves. You said, “You can just tell the difference in the freshness, you know?”
When I got home from my PTA meeting tonight, I came upstairs to turn off your reading light. I thought you were asleep so I leaned in and kissed you softly on your forehead. You smelled like baby shampoo. As I turned to walk away you whispered, “Sleep with me a minute please.”
I did. I ran my fingers through your damp hair until you drifted to sleep, the cadence of your breath resetting the rhythm of my body to a place of perfect contentment. Oh baby girl. You can’t possibly love yourself as much as I love you.
Over This Bump
Laylee got her hearing aids last week, launching us into a whole new world of joy and wellness and a place where Dan and I can no longer whisper things above her head without the risk of her overhearing.
We spent 2 hours with a very kind and thorough audiologist who covered everything from how to clean “ear whacks” out of the rubber molds to how to purchase new batteries. We left with piles of hearing aid-related paraphernalia, including a small stuffed gopher with his own replica hearing devices velcroed to his ears.
I was amazed at how precise the process was for fitting and making sure that they boost the exact frequencies she lacks without overloading her on sounds she already hears just fine and I was relieved that they were able to shut off the volume controls so she doesn’t accidentally turn them way up or way down.
I’m sort of fascinated with these new removable body parts and find it strange and exciting to listen through them with my tiny hearing aid stethoscope. They sound tinny and electronic to me but supposedly that’s because they’re boosting frequencies that I already hear just fine.
Once we got home I had a really hard time not turning into the Verizon guy coming up behind her and whispering, “Can you hear me now?” every thirty seconds.
At one point on the second day she came up with a little experiment. She went to the bottom of the stairs and had me whisper something to her from the top of the stairs. Grinningly she repeated back what I had said, “Ah-HA! Now you can have no more secrets from me unless I’m asleep.” Then she turned off the hearing aids and had me whisper something else.
Me [whispering at the same volume as before]: I’m so glad you love your ballet class so much.
Laylee: Hm. I could still hear that too, even without my hearing aids. I guess my ears are okay.
Me: Really? What did I say?
Laylee: You just said, “SHWSHWSHWSHWSHWSH.”
Me: Um. Nope.
Sitting on my bed that morning, I was talking to Laylee when she suddenly asked me to be quiet. So I stopped talking and a huge grin filled her face. She said she could hear her dad’s shower ALL THE WAY IN THE NEXT ROOM! She was totally amazed by something I hear every day.
Now it’s not all peach-flavored Twizzlers and roses around here in the land of super hearing. Within minutes of getting them turned on for the first time, Magoo came up to her and started mouthing words with no sound coming out, causing her to strain to hear and become very concerned. He thought it was hilarious.
Also, as the audiologist predicted, she’s had a little trouble with distraction and confusion with all the new sounds coming at her. Where once she could carry on a discussion while Magoo lost his mind loudly in the next room, she now can’t hold a train of thought if he’s mumbling by her side. She’s seemed a little overwhelmed at times and over-stimulated. For this reason, the doctor suggested we wait a few days before letting her wear them to school. She begged us to cave and let her wear them all the time but we remained firm through the weekend and I’m glad we did.
Today I went with her to her kindergarten class and read all the kids a story about a little elephant with hearing loss who goes through the process of getting hearing aids. When I’d finished I told them about hers while she modeled like Vanna White and explained that they were just like glasses for her ears to help her have super hearing. Then I asked if they had any questions. Several hands shot up and the question period went something like this:
“I have a brother with glasses and he wears them.”
“Oh wow.”
“My dad wears glasses AND my uncle Steve.”
“That’s so great. Any more questions?”
“My mom has WHITE glasses.”
Repeat and fade…
Everyone seemed to like the pink color and the sparkles but most of all they just didn’t care that much. And now we move on to whatever’s next.
Desperate Times
It’s the closest thing to a voodoo doll for exerting total control of your children. [read more at Parenting.com]
If You Don’t Have Kids, You Probably Don’t Laugh Enough
You probably don’t want to tear your hair out as often either but I think it’s worth it for the laughter.
Earlier this week as we were walking to the bus stop to pick up Laylee, Magoo got an eyeful of a group of burly construction workers who had paused for their lunch break.
Magoo: Hey MOM! They’re having a snack time.
Me: Yep. Snacky time for those guys.
Magoo [leaning his whole body forward to scrutinize them]: Nope. I think they’re just having a tea party. I want to have a tea party with them!
Laylee and I recently got into a long and involved discussion about the election. Every answer I gave was subjected to a followup question. She wanted to know who I was voting for, why I was undecided, what I liked best about each of the guys. We even got into details about whether or not I thought Bush had done a good job and why. And what were some more reasons? When I tried to cut off the conversation after about a half an hour, she said, “Mom please! Tell me more. I really like this story.”
Hmm. Strangely I don’t. Anyhoo. As we were finishing up she got very serious.
Laylee: Mom, which one has the name that’s easiest to remember?
Me: Well, probably John McCain.
Laylee: Then you should probably vote for that guy.
Sweet. All my problems solved. And I should have thought of that myself because that’s exactly what I did when I chose to marry Dan Thompson. See that? Easy as pie. That’s part of his charm.
To hear about some not-quite-so-funny-but-more-violent times with my kids, check out today’s Parenting Post.
People-Gawking
Laylee had plenty of people to watch at the hospital on Tuesday. And she had commentary. What’s the most embarassing thing your child has ever said about another person within earshot?
Read more of our experience at Parenting.com.
Magoo is Six of Awesome
When describing a mind-bogglingly huge number some people might use words like MILLIONS or BILLIONS but Magoo uses the number SIX. It’s a lot like “six” only a little different. [read more at Parenting.com]
Sparring
I’ve decided there are ways I can make money off this whole preschool gig. [read more]
NoFAP
Laylee’s loving school. I’m loving school, if for no other reason than that I now get to write NoFAPs now. MWAH-ha-ha-ha! [continued at Parenting.com]