About Me

You got a minute or twelve?

May 7, 2007 by Kathryn

So, thanks ever so much for coming and reading and putting up with all the Tom Foolery that goes on here. It would help me out a ton if you’d be willing to take a minute or twelve and fill out a reader survey. It helps me and my advertisers know a little bit about who’s reading so I can write about all the topics you care about, fish, landscaping and of course stuffed duckies.

Pretty please take my blog reader survey!
Mama needs a new roof.

When it asks you for my blog genre, I’ve listed it as a “Parenthood” blog. Even if you can just do part of the survey, that helps. Just do as much as you can.

Ultimately, I still Have to do the Laundry

May 7, 2007 by Kathryn

Evidence is mounting that I may in fact be ULTIMATE.

When we bought my new laptop, Dan went out to buy software. He came home with Windows Vista and Office and I protested, “The computer came with Vista already installed.”

“No,” said Dan, “It came with Vista Home Edition. I got you Vista ULTIMATE.”

Apparently you can buy several versions of Microsoft Windows Vista — Toddler, Student, Dropout, Home, Vacation Home, Feckless Slacker, Bidness, Successful Bidness, and ULTIMATE.

Dan thinks I’m neither “Feckless” nor “Home” very often and he certainly doesn’t want to get all up in my “Bidness.” Indeed one of the reasons he married me was because I am ULTIMATE so there you go.

He also purchased the ULTIMATE edition of Office and later asked me how I was enjoying it. “It’s ULTIMATE,” I replied and I was mostly serious.

That same week I ran out of mascara and called up Stephanie, my favorite Mary Kay-vangelist for some assistance.

“Which mascara do you suggest? I want my lashes to look nice but not like a caterpillar curled up and died on my eyelids. I also don’t want to have to burn the mascara off with acid at the end of each day so I try to steer clear of waterproof.”

“Then you want the ULTIMATE Mascara.”

“Why of course I do.”

So I’ve been wearing the ULTIMATE Mascara for a while now and the coverage and lengthening properties are not the only things that are ULTIMATE about it.

Each night when I wash my face, I dry my eyes on a towel, leaving two black mascara spots. I’ve done this for years. Normally, I’m left with a small black residue around each eye which I either wash off or sort of blend away with moisturizer.

No more. Each night when I wash the ULTIMATE Mascara from my eyes, I’m left with the ULTIMATE Mascara circles.

So now I want to upgrade everything in my house. Hook me up with Kashi Go Lean ULTIMATE — now with even more natural-looking twigs and branches, Google Translator ULTIMATE — now offering translations of Magoolish dialogue into English, Spanish and Pig Latin, Laundry Room ULTIMATE — now with clothes sorting and folding features.

Empowering Women? — Count Me In

May 1, 2007 by Kathryn

The other night I was watching Deal or Not and Howie Mandel was telling some poor angst-ridden contestant that $53,000 was a lot of money, a life-changing amount of money. It struck me as ironic that this statement was coming from a guy who probably makes that much for every time he points his clasped hands at a model and says, “Open the case.”

$53,000 would not be a life-changing amount of money to a celebrity, just as $5 would not really affect my life in any major way. If a 5 dollar bill came as a birthday present from my Great Uncle Oscar tomorrow, I might stock up on Symphony bars or just blow the whole wad buying a tenth of a new pair of jeans.

But imagine if that 5 dollar bill could change the course of an entire family’s life….

Bloggers Get Hungry Too

April 29, 2007 by Kathryn

Sometimes they get hungry together and then you’d better watch out. This weekend I met up with some bloggy friends new and old for a lunch at Ivars in downtown Seattle.

I like Ivars because you can smell fish guts both outside and inside the restaurant, only they smell more appetizing inside and if you stand outside long enough seagulls will poop on you. They also have great food and this weekend they were thoughtful enough to give us over an hour to chat from the time we ordered our food until it arrived….

Welcome Mat

April 24, 2007 by Kathryn

So welcome to the world of the BLOG. Sounds scary, eh? Really it’s not. Take off your shoes and make yourselves comfortable. Pajamas are welcome here. And chocolate.

Topics covered on this site include but are not limited to:

Garage Sales, Solid Food, X-rays, Snow White, Mullets, Karate, Self-preservation, Worm Sweat, Beef and Tweens, Sweetness, Weaners, Piglet, NASA, Deet, Rejection, Insects, Illiterate Cows, Toothbrushes, Heartache, Signs, The Ark, Orphans, Movie Reviews, Urban Legends, Songs, Hertz, Deoderant, Pigs Feet, Holes, Reversion, Rabid Demonic Cows, and Sonnets.

Take a moment to look around. Then go start your own. You know you want to. These girls will show you how.

Chili Mania

April 21, 2007 by Kathryn

It started a few weeks ago. Laylee stood transfixed as I read Chilihead’s blog. “Who is THAT?”

“That’s Chilihead.”

“He he he. She has a CRA-ZY nose!”

“Yep.”

“I like her”

“Me too.”

Laylee can spot Chili’s site from across the room and she’ll run over to watch me read. The other night as I was putting her to bed, she said, “If you go on the computer and see a lady with a crazy nose, that’s named Chilihead!” And she laughed and laughed.

I told Chili about Laylee’s obsession and she made it her mission in life to find Laylee a schnoz. So I told Laylee that a special package from Chilihead was coming in the mail any day….

The Reminder

April 18, 2007 by Kathryn

Several of you asked me to remind you when the Daring Edition of the Today Show was airing. The show is scheduled to air one week from yesterday, Tuesday April 24th. Set your TiVo and stock up on smoked oysters and artichoke dip. It’s gonna be a par-tay.

Please no spoiler emails that morning from those of you living on the East Coast. I want to be surprised. Because technically, although I was present at least in body during the taping, …

I could feel the tension draining from my body as I began to participate …

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