Drops of Awesome

Personal Blog of Author Kathryn Thompson

About Me

Seattle Mom Blogs

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Seattle Mom BlogsJenny, Eve and I stayed up WAY too late in Chicago and came up with all kinds of ideas. We decided to make up songs and sing in an atonal vibrato. We decided to jump from bed to bed wearing capes. And we decided to set up a community to encourage and promote moms who blog in the Greater Seattle Area.

If you’re a mom who blogs from anywhere in or around Seattle, please join us as we try to connect, support each other and undoubtedly take over the world.

Seattle Mom BlogsAnyone is free to go over and nominate one of your favorite posts for the month. The post does not need to be by a Seattle blogger. The nominator does not need to be a Seattle blogger. However, only the academy of Seattle bloggers will be able to vote on the winner. We’d love your nominations!

Subscribe to Daring Young Mom

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I learned a few techie things at BlogHer and now I’m trying to act on them. I’ve finally gotten friendly with FeedBurner so if you’d like to subscribe to my RSS for your reader, you can click here.

If you’d like my new posts delivered to your email inbox, you can subscribe by entering your addres below. (Mom – I’m talking to you!)

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Intolerance — The Panel I’m Still Having in My Head

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My Intolerace PosseBlogHer felt like an overwhelming success to me this year. I had cute shoes. The conference venue was gorgeous and things ran smoothly and were well organized. People were kind and discussions were thought provoking and respectful. (I’ve got a few words to share on the closing session with Elizabeth Edwards but that will have to wait till tomorrow.) I did not have to cook for anyone and the magical hotel fairies made the beds for me each morning.

My panel was on Friday afternoon, led by the excellent Liz Henry, a woman who can make anyone feel at ease and understood. How fun is she to be taking pictures of the panel and audience as she moderated it? That certainly helped relieve some of the nerves I’d been struggling with that morning. To be honest, I felt a little like a fish out of water in that group. There was Laina who writes about race, ethnicity and culture on the BlogHer website, Liz who seems to know everyone, blog on every topic and have one foot in nearly every social group and Tish who regularly stands up against The Man in a male dominated communications blogging culture.

I like this picture because my mouth is open, my eyes are red and I look very intense.

Then there was me with my charmed life, writing a non-issues-based funny mom blog and periodically being touched by drama because of my religious beliefs. I’m much more comfortable being a smart-alec than having a serious discussion about social issues.

what a cute audience!I think the panel went well. We had some good discussion, although I feel that it would have been more productive on a small group level. I wanted the chance to look my fellow panelists in the eye and really come to an understanding of what they were saying, something I’m sad to say didn’t happen.

In my closing statement, I said that everyone is intolerant of something. In fact, if you’re not intolerant, I’m not likely to be your friend because you’re either lying or you’re so relativistic that you don’t know who you are anymore. We tend to call each other on intolerance when our intolerances don’t match up. Personally, my main intolerance is towards mean people. Why can’t we all just respect each other?

Then I said something that I’m not sure about. I said that through my experiences, I’ve learned that what I love about the internet is that it is a great equalizer, giving everyone the freedom to speak their mind and to form communities of their choosing. I think that the people who spoke out against me because I’m Mormon had the right to do so and can form any exclusive group they want. If I want to have a blog for only people who like lima beans, I can do it and if they want to draw lines based on the Nicene Creed, more power to them. I said that if they didn’t want to include me, then there was no reason for me to want to be included, to beg to be part of their group. That statement doesn’t sit right with me.

In that particular instance, I’m happy for them to have their own little group because it doesn’t affect me in any significant way. However, I know there are so many cases in the world where people are being excluded in a way that is materially harmful to them and to the world at large and some situations need and deserve some direct intervention.

After the panel, two such situations presented themselves. Stefania spoke up in the State of the Momosphere panel and mentioned that she is constantly being pitched marketing opportunities on her various websites but receives none of the same offers for Kimchi Mamas, her successful blog for Korean moms. Kelly from Mocha Momma had started teh converstaion because she has experienced the same kind of exclusion from marketers.

Does it offend me that I am excluded from writing for Kimchi Mamas because I’m white? No. There are approximately one billion places a white woman can blog. I fully believe Korean moms should have access to an exclusive community. But I think it’s wrong that women of color are being excluded in so many other communities. If Club Mom or Parenting were making a point of only hiring white bloggers, I’d have a serious problem with that. So, is it only okay for minorities to be exclusive? I’m not sure where the line is. I just know that some exclusive groups are right and some are wrong.

Another example comes from my co-panelist Laina, who went out to dinner in downtown Chicago and was denied service when a black friend asked for a table but a moment later a white friend was able to get her name down on the waiting list. It blows my mind that things like this are still going on in places other than Uncle Bubba’s small town café in Backwardsville, US. Seriously? How can this country have come so far, and still have such a disconnect between our perceived shared values and the way people actually treat each other?

Best Day Ever

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Today I did something I should have been doing consistently for just years now. I “let” Laylee help me clean the house. This was rare and precious both because I was actually cleaning the house and because I let Laylee be a part of it.

Usually I try to plan activities to keep her busy if the cleaning bug bites me but today she asked meekly, “Mom. Could I please help you scrub the kitchen floor?”

“Um. Sure.”

“Oh THANKS! Will you please save me some of the really sticky parts.”

The really sticky parts are vast and the grid pattern makes it easy to section off the floor into sticky chunks for easy division of labor. I got out a couple of rags so we could do the job Cinderella-style. When Laylee would get up to rinse her rag she would charge me forcefully with the task of saving her sticky squares so she could do them when she got back.

And she did… beautifully. She is a natural at slave labor and she begged for more. So I let her scrub the outside of the fridge and promised that she could scour something tomorrow. She asked me to never clean without her and I made a binding promise. (Future Laylee if you’re reading this, you now know you have no one to blame but yourself.)

In her prayer at bedtime, she thanked God for the chance she had to clean the floors with me and get all the crayon out of the grout. And pieces of my soul floated heavenward and were enveloped by the laughing moon.

Magoo is obsessed with all things Cars. When we arrived at Costco tonight, he saw the pizza stand and yelled, “FOOD! CA-CHOW!” and I loved him well, even though he doesn’t yet pray with fervent thanks for the opportunity to give me spa pedicures on demand. I’ll keep working on that. Maybe by the time he’s 4…

Were you wondering how much of a dork I am? I will tell you how much of a dork I am. At the park today I saw a woman reading the August issue of Parenting Magazine and I wrestled with myself about whether or not to approach her. Periodically they reprint small blurbs from my blog and I happened to know off the top of my head that there was a picture of Laylee’s fuzz-ball hair on page 32. What’s the point in being minimally famous if you can’t tell complete strangers that you are?

So as we pushed our kids on the swings, I nonchalantly said, “My daughter’s picture is in there on page 32.” And she gave me the best response ever.

“Oh!? Is she the hair?”

Yes! Laylee “the hair” Daring. It’s her new mafia name and I couldn’t be prouder.

Intolerance Intervention?

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Can I tell you how much I love getting email with the subject line “Re: Intolerance Intervention”? Very much do I love it and I’ve been getting a lot of it lately.

I’m really excited to be speaking on a panel at BlogHer next week and I’d like your help preparing. The topic is Intolerance and here’s the official synopsis:

Does the Blogosphere Need an Intolerance Intervention?
What are the benefits and drawbacks of speaking across divides, and trying to be a “bridge”? What do we gain and lose when we assume we’re blogging to people a lot like ourselves? Let’s talk about insularity, authenticity, intolerance, and diplomacy. At times, bloggers can be like indie bands, risking having their original fans stop liking them the minute they start being appreciated by a more diverse audience, outside the original “club”. There’s bloggers who cross all sorts of potential barriers…and bloggers who like it in their own neck of the woods just fine, thank you very much, go away if you disagree. Do Birds of a Feather groups encourage intolerance? Or are diplomats “sellouts”? Decide where you stand. Liz Henry moderates this discussion around a topic a lot of us observe, but few of us say anything about. Bloggers like Laina Dawes, Tish Grier and Kathryn Thompson have a few stories to tell!

I was included in this session largely because of formative experiences I had a few months after I started my blog. They really shaped the way I feel about tolerance and ethics online and helped me take what I was doing much more seriously. I came to think about blogging as a community-building experience and not simply an outlet to dump my thoughts into each day.

When I was fairly new to blogging, some good online friends nominated me for a small award. The stated purpose of the awards was to recognize blogs that brought beauty into the blogosphere and the woman running the contest was Christian. She wrote an obviously religious blog and it was understood that the awards were meant to recognize Christian bloggers.

I found out about the awards after I became a finalist and was so excited not only to be nominated for humor but by a group of women who had included me in their religious community even though I don’t often blog openly about my faith. As a Mormon, I was pleased to feel accepted by a circle of mainstream Christians, a group that doesn’t often recognize my religion’s central belief in Jesus Christ as Christianity.

The day after I won the award however, a prominent blogger in the community publicly outed me as a Mormon (something I thought everyone knew if they’d ever read my blog), and wrote a scathing post about my participation in the contest and the lack of discernment shown by my readers.

Needless conflict and drama ensued, during which I formed some of my strongest blogging relationships to date, several with women who had much more in common theologically with my critic than they did with me, several who have no religious leanings but simply rock solid morals and character, and some who were just so flippin’ hilarious that they helped me get through the pettiness of it all.

Without sharing my specific thoughts on the subject of online intolerance (I’ll blog more about that after the conference.), I’d love to hear what you have to say. What questions would you ask me as part of that panel? What thoughts would you share if you were on it?

So Help Me I’m Ready to Toss Everything

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It is hot and I want to throw things. Every possession in my house seems to be radiating heat and I feel that most of it must go, mostly the parts that belong to the children.

I am sticky and ooey and gooey and hot. I can’t sleep, I can’t stop whining, and there is no way to get as naked as I want to be and still get the grocery shopping done. This is the only time of year that I envy Magoo’s freedom to sport a dashing onesie in public.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that Seattle is no hotbed of summer boilery but since 90 degrees is considered a heat wave here, there is also no infrastructure for the cooling, no air conditioning, no swamp cooler, no bathtub full of ice to spend the day in. I do have an industrial fan which blows the hot air around in a way that almost tricks me into believing it’s only EIGHTY-five degrees in here. The only problem is that it’s so bleeping loud that I have to turn it off every few minutes so I can hear myself think.

When it’s off all I can think about is how hot I am, how hot Dan is (HOT DAN!), and how much I want to throw all of my children’s belongings away while they sleep. I’m fractious people, fractious and antsy.

This house is full of things, things that need to be put away and things that should never be put away unless “away” is in a waste receptacle or happy meal box. Then the happy meal box should be put in a waste receptacle. There are toys the kids have never played with, loud toys the kids have played with so much that my ear wack is vibrating, toys with a million small pieces spread equidistant from each other in every cranny of the estate, toys that make Laylee do things she knows she’s not allowed to, and toys that are just butt ugly. I hate butt ugly toys… and sweat.

I hate sweat, which makes me more angry at the toys. I really believe that they’re sucking the cool from the air and replacing it with not-cool. I want to pull every toy and puzzle piece out of every room, closet and kitchen cupboard, throw them into the living room until they’re waist-high, let the kids pick 3 toys each and give the rest to Good Will.

Next I’ll throw away polyester, Tupperware containers with no lids, clothes that don’t fit humans (dolls prefer to be naked anyway), my New Kids on the Block cassette tape, cables and cords not currently connected to a working electronic device, and anything green that’s too weak to defend itself. Maybe purple too, but only if it isn’t gold-trimmed.

(Okay. For real I was kidding about NKOTB. But dude, everything else goes.)

And the Winners Are…

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The random winners of the Roadtrip Giveaway are April C. and Seabird. Congratulations and thanks to everyone for all the great tips!

If for any reason they are unable to fulfill their duties as plastic tube winners, we’ll draw more names at random.

Well Enough About Me

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Let’s talk about you for a minute. (Be sure to answer the questions at the end of the post!)

A while back I asked you all to fill out a survey for me. The results are in and they’re fascinating.

74% of Daring Young Mom readers are between the ages of 21 and 34. No one over 75 or under 18 admitted to reading this blog.

I’m surprised that only 3% of the readers surveyed were male. I’ve always been very popular with the men folk. Maybe they couldn’t handle my year-long period of lactational discourse shortly following Magoo’s birth.

Although I live near Seattle, I’m actually located in a very small town. A quarter of you also live in small towns or out in the country but more than half make your homes in the suburbs. For some reason, my blog does not appear to be massively appealing to the urban crowd.

Most of my readers are middle class but those few of you making over $500,000 annually, please email me. I’ve got some great ideas for how you could spread around the love.

Very few of you have more than 6 kids yet so I guess most of us are still getting started. We’d better get busy.

96% of my readers have had at least some college education. Rock on educated ladies! … and you few gentlemen.

Your political views are all over the place with the biggest portion of you (45%) listed as republicans.

Half of you have a valid passport. The rest of you should get on that if you want to visit my motherland any time soon. I’m working on getting one for Magoo tonight actually.

For the most part, you’re churchgoers, or at least you claim to be for internet research purposes – with the largest group, roughly a third of you, being Mormon.

Your occupations are so varied I think I could staff an entire mini-civilization with your expertise. I’ll let you know when there are job openings for the Daring New World.

You need to send more email, preferably to me.

More of you watch Saturday Night Live than any news show, more American Idol than The Office and if so many of you watch What Not To Wear, why have none of you nominated me to be on the show? I’d gladly be humiliated for an hour for the chance to get a whole new wardrobe.

You use the PCs, although I suspect that many of you like me dream of switching to the Mac.

You started reading blogs right around the same time I started this one.

You like your internet speed high and 62% of you have your own blog.

More than half of you use Blogger.

30% of you only read one blog per day. Awww… geee…. Thanks. Oh. You didn’t mean mine? I still like you.

You read blogs for humor, personality and perspective but you like mine anyway.

60% of you never use RSS to read blogs. It really makes life much easier, ya’ll. You can subscribe to all your favorite blogs on Bloglines and it keeps track of new posts for you.

Only half of you floss regularly. This makes me like you more. I won’t say why.

You talk on the cellular phones.

Tsk. Tsk. Only 18% of you believe in UFOs. I sure hope you all still believe in Santa.

There were a few questions not covered in the survey or in other surveys I’ve conducted. There are things I just need to know.

For today please answer one or more of the following 3 questions:

What percent milk do you drink?
How many of your kids are currently named Dirk?
Do you believe in dust mites?

Slump and Whine

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So my blogging slump is largely due to the week being dominated by my total lerve of So You Think You Can Dance. I so very much enjoy that show. Jeana can mock if she wants but I’m working out and when I get back in shape I will totally learn how to dance and win the whole taco on that show.

Laylee and I may audition together since she’s so good already and it may take a couple of years to lose these extra couple hundred pounds. This spare tire is throwing off my center of gravity on my pirouettes.

And I’m not only striving to out-dance Laylee. I’m also working on out-whining her…