My friend Millie is planning a blogger’s lunch in Seattle on April 28th. I sure plan on attending. If you live in or around Seattle and you’d like to meet up for lunch, let me know. Wouldn’t it be fun to meet in person?
The Promises We Make
When we get married, we make a bunch of promises. Some we make in front of God, legal authorities and our Aunt Bertha. Some are lovingly whispered in a car late at night in front of your apartment. There are even some politely demanded before any sort of engagement takes place….
Some Business
I get over 1000 spam comments every single day. …
Taking Inventory
Every once in a while I like to sit down and think of all the reasons I’m the BEST MOM EVER. It’s a good exercise to try and narrow them down to a reasonably small list of my saintly acts. The most recent addition is up at parenting.com so you can go over and let me know any reasons why you might by my runner up.
In the event that I can no longer fulfill my duties as BEST MOM EVER, I’d like my replacement to be one of you.
Is Your Man Man Enough?
Mine is.
Practically Perfect In Every Way, Not That it Matters
I don’t know where she gets it… ahem… but Laylee’s showing herself to be quite the perfectionist. She is an uncompromising stickler for detail which causes high quality but low output, inconvenient if she plans to earn her keep down at the workhouse. …
George, Elaine, isn’t that Doctor Santanisto?
When Magoo the Large was born, my body was a mess. 10.5 pounds of baby will do that to a wee flower like myself and so it was that my hip joints were unbearably painful. My doctor took some X-Rays and asked me if I’d like to see a specialist. Sure. Does he come with drugs? Send him in. Not enough people have seen me breastfeeding today.
Doctor Santanisto had dark wavy hair, pulled mostly back in a physician’s doo rag. He had a soul patch, expressive eyebrows and a slightly sinister look about him.
He was professional and helpful but I couldn’t get over the thought that I had just had a run-in with a caricature of an evil doctor from ER or possibly a Seinfeld-like nemesis.
“Helloooo Kathryn.”
“Hello Dr. Santanisto.” (In the voice Jerry reserves specially for Newman.)
A couple of days later I was back up at the hospital’s lactation center being fitted for a high quality mammary suspension device and I started to describe the specialist doctor to Dan.
“It was just weird. I wish you could have met him but there was something about him. It was like he’d stepped right out of a hospital drama, the ruthless surgeon who smooth-talks the patients and then goes off and fires interns for yawning or handing him the wrong scalpel. I picture his laugh to be a deep cackle. I really wish you could have seen him.”
Two minutes later I was hobbling out of the parking lot when something caught my eye. Not 10 feet from my car sat a black BMW convertible with red leather seats, the top down being driven by — DR. SANTANISTO!
“Dan! LOOK! That’s him and he’s driving Satan’s car!”
Dr. Santanisto’s wavy hair was loose in the wind, an extra-long cigarette dangling from his sneer.
“Wow,” said Dan, “That’s creepy.” This is what I’m saying.
You know I love casting people as I drive around town. If I’m ever the casting director for ER The Next Generation, Dr. Santanisto’s totally gonna play that one mean guy.
Coming Clean
I have been hooked on Luxor ever since my trip to Montana. My family invited me and the kids in for what seemed like an innocent vacation and then gave me my first hit. They said it would “help me relax”. At first, that’s exactly what it did.
I could feel the tension draining from my body as I began to participate …
Obsession
Erin has asked me to list 5 things I’m obsessed with. This is a hard one but okay, here goes:
1. Dancing
2. Shakin’ it
3. Grooving
4. Boogying
5. Participating in low-contact cooperative mosh pits
Even moreso than Windex, I believe that dancing …
Let the Choir of Angels Sing
Dan and I went on a Real Date this week.
We saw a movie.
Besides the fact that Billy Joe Jedd Bob Thornton appeared to be dentally challenged and possibly wearing a prosthetic teeth, making it nearly impossible for him to stretch his lips closed throughout the movie, we had a good time.