Drops of Awesome

This afternoon Laylee began a parental love affair with a roly poly pill bug she found under a log in the back yard. She “saved” him, brought him tenderly inside and showed me how CUTE he was. Ay, Lassie. He was the cutest roly poly that ever I did see.

She carried him around all afternoon, chattering away to him, singing and teaching him tricks. They played games, wherein she chased him across the carpet with a plastic cup trying to capture him. If he ended up under the cup, she won. If he made it out before the cup came down, he won. I think that if the cup came down and he was half-way in and halfway out, everyone would have lost but luckily that didn’t happen.

She told me she was training him. Apparently he would stop when she yelled “stop” and go when she yelled “go.” He was obedient because she loved him and she yelled because he had small ears. She told me that he was her best friend.

At some point in the afternoon her yelling became louder as she frantically searched the family room looking for her crawly friend. “Roly Poly! I love you! Where are you?”

He was nowhere to be found. As she cried, she told me that she had last seen him in the small plastic car she was giving him a ride in. She’d left the room for just a moment and when she came back he was gone. I hobbled around on my crutches and helped her search but apparently did not show adequate emotion and she cried in despair and said, “MOM! I’m as sad from losing him as you’d be if you lost me.”

I told her that I didn’t think that was the case but I knew she really loved him and then I had a brilliant idea, “I bet I know where he is. I bet he wanted to get back to his home. You should go out and look in that rotting log where you originally found him and I bet he’s right back there, hanging out with his friends.”

Apparently she’d disturbed the log to the point that he and all his friends had gone into hiding but I feel confident that they’ll be back and she can reclaim her baby… or another one just like him, a deaf little ball of slime that’s very obedient to 5-year-olds and loves riding around in plastic cars. In the meantime, I’ll be looking very carefully inside my shoes before I step inside them.

Icannotstaywell! Icannotstaywell! If my body is cooperating and healing from my many seasonal plagues, I must sabotage it in some way. Today was a MODEL day. I drove Dan to work and Laylee to preschool. I watched two of my friends’ kids while baking bread and starting some seeds sprouting. I cleaned my kitchen, did some laundry and spent a couple of hours working in my garden.

I barely even took a minute to IM Dan and brag about my great goodliness as a domestic diva.

When my arm muscles were completely finished gardening, I decided to mow the lawn or at least pull the starter cord on the mower a few times until I flooded the engine so I could tell Dan I’d tried. In order to mow the lawn, I needed to harvest it for plastic toys and move the giant yard waste bin around to the front of the house.

No problem. I employed my little slaves doing the harvest and started lugging the 100lb+ yard waste container out of the way. Half way around the house it jumped on a rock as I yanked it forward and came down hard on my Achilles tendon. My word! The PAIN!

It bruised and swelled up and I had to send Laylee next door to ask my neighbor to help me into the house. While Neighbor1 was homeopathing me and helping me make a doctor’s appointment, Neighbor2 dropped everything and ran over to watch the kids so Neighbor1 could drive me to the doctor. Neighbor1 bought me ice cream on the way back from the doctor and picked up some pizza so my kids wouldn’t starve. Don’t you want to come live on my block?! These ladies are out of control awesome.

Long story short — I’m on crutches and unable to put any weight on my left foot. Well, right now I’m sitting on the couch with my laptop keeping me warm and my foot elevated but I have to use the crutches to get around if I so choose.

Honestly, the most annoying thing is not the pain or the fact that I’m slow getting around. The most annoying thing is that I can’t pick up anything and carry it with me. I’m a major CAYGer (Clean as You Go) and I’m used to always walking from one room to the next with an item to put away. Not today. Tonight I tidied up the toys by crawling and scooting around on the floor while nagging my children. They were actually quite sweet and helpful to me all day, kisses for my foot, purple pansies decorating my shoes.

Any tips for getting around better with crutches or being able to carry things at the same time, besides in my mouth? I’m finding that certain of my belongings do not lend themselves well to being transported orally.

It’s here and you can celebrate with me for three reasons. First, we get to save the planet today like Batman or Super Why. Second, there is still a ton of free stuff up for grabs over at Seattle Mom Blogs for anyone in the US to win. Third, today is the last day I’ll be talking about green things for a while. After today I will go back to blogging my kids’ vomit and my adventures in parking.

It seems like for every good thing I’m doing, there are ten more things I feel like I should be doing and then half the good things I’m doing turn out to be not as good as I thought they were. I think I’ve taught Laylee pretty well just to do her best and that her best is good enough for me. I guess my best should be good enough for me too. Here are a few things I’m focusing on this year.

1. Buying more whole foods and cooking from scratch, organic when the price is affordable. I can afford more organic if I plan carefully and don’t let produce rot as much. I frequently end up throwing away food because I over-buy or under-eat the good stuff. When I can’t buy organic (which is more than half the time), I wash produce carefully in diluted vinegar to remove surface pesticides and other contamination.

2. Buying more gifts from local artists and craftspeople instead of stockpiling sale gifts I may or may not WANT to give from my gift drawer when occasions arise.

3. Buying less of everything and being mindful of where things come from. I plan to do more with freecycle, eBay and Good Will this year and shop at one of the many antique stores in my area.

4. Figuring out what to do with my composter so I can build my very own useful landfill in the back yard for the benefit of my garden.

5. Growing a successful container garden that actually lives long enough to produce something edible.

6. Remembering my reusable grocery sacks at least half the time.

7. Turning off the water while I’m brushing my teeth.

8. Finding a way to wean off bleach by 2010.

9. Buying at least one fair trade item this year and research my favorite companies to see which of them have responsible business practices and treat their production employees well.

10. Walking to the library instead of driving. Teaching the kids to think it’s fun that we’re walking to the library instead of driving.

12. Turning the heater down 2 degrees next winter.

11. Buying thousands of hamsters to run in little wheels that will power my computer for blogging purposes.

If you’re interested in getting a free copy of Gorgeously Green (which I highly recommend), I now have 4 copies to give away at SMB.com. There are also gDiapers, Klutter Katchers, Belli Facial Care, and Method Baby products. Today’s the last day to put your name in the running.

I’m feeling a bit better today, one million supplements later and a trip to the naturopath that scored me a prescription for antibiotics — ear infection. I didn’t even know grownups could get ear infections, nor did I expect to be put on antibiotics by my uber-natural naturopath but I suppose I need them so there you go.

My post today at Parenting is about my sickness and woes and how the kids are dealing with it. They’re actually dealing quite well. I applaud their bouce-backishness. I’m bouncing back too, thanks to a little help from someone I’ll hereafter refer to as The Pregnant Cleaning Lady. I call her this only because she is pregnant and a cleaning lady.

Stephanie told me that a friend of hers was having a rough time and really needed work cleaning houses. I’ve never hired anyone to clean my house but I wanted to help her out and I guess I’ve been wanting to help her out subconsciously for weeks now because between the road trip and the plagues, it’s been far too long since my house has come in contact with a cleanly hand.

Enter pregnant cleaning lady. It was a strange sort of feeling to hire a woman in her late second trimester to clean my house. I knew she needed the work and I knew I needed help but it was very strange and guilt-inducing to have someone in that state scrubbin’ away at the mess I’d built up because I had a case of the sniffles (and an earache people, let’s not forget the ear ache… and the fever… and the sore throat… and the chapped lips… and the adult acne.) But even with all my infirmities, it still felt wrong to have a pregnant person cleaning my house. If she’s pregnant, she probably has all those infirmities and many many more and they’re all normal because, you know, she’s pregnant.

So I showed her where my supplies were and gave her strict instructions not to bend much or pick up anything too heavy or do anything that made her the least bit uncomfortable. Then I headed to Costco with the kids. When I came home, it was like a fairy godmother of joy had vomited pixie dust all over my house. The entire main floor was spotless. In 2.5 hours she had cleaned my kitchen and dining room from top to bottom, including buffing things that are supposed to be shiny but never are, scrubbed the bathroom, dusted, vacuumed, washed windows and straightened up everything.

Now as I blog in my immaculate house, what earlier today felt so wrong is starting to feel so very very right and addictive. If only I had the money to do this every week. My word, it would be fantastic.

Lots of fun is happening at Seattle Mom Blogs this weekend. We currently have a book giveaway and a great set of organizing bags for kids’ toys. In the next few days we’ll be giving away gDiapers, Method products, luxurious pregnancy-friendly Belli facial care items and more. Keep checking it.

Also, my lovely friend and neighbor the homeopath has made her blogging debut in honor of Earth Day. If you have a moment, please go give her some comment love.

We’re all green around here. At this moment, my sinuses are all over the green movement. I hate them. I want to rip them out. I want to stomp on them and run them through my Cuisinart, squeeze them dry and then light them on fire. I have great displeasure with regard to my sinuses. But enough about my ongoing battle with the plague of death that continually resurfaces just when I think it’s safe to stop buying honey and lemons by the truckload.

Laylee and Magoo are trying to be more green. Yesterday I discovered that Laylee had gone commando to preschool. She couldn’t tell me why but I can only assume it was to save space in the washing machine and conserve energy.

Magoo likes to “reuse” the water in his cup at dinner by repeatedly backwashing the same liquid (and a few of its friends) back into his cup.

Both of them are vehemently opposed to slave labor, especially when it involves me forcing them to pick up their eleventy billion tiny plastic toys from all over the floor and under my bed pillow without compensation. I’m pretty sure they’re both for fair trade too. At the very least I frequently hear my little activists chanting about things not being “fair” and whining to each other that they want to “trade” toys.

I think I’ll take my little green nasals to bed now but before I do, I have one question for you – Does it count as “clean living” if behind my sink full of filthy dishes I have a garden window full of vegetable starts?

We’re giving away a couple of copies of a great book over at SMB.com. Go enter the fun!