Drops of Awesome

I really can’t stop. It is somewhat ridiculous. Here it is for show and tell. I’m addicted to books. And it’s not just reading them. It’s holding them, smelling them, feeling them, buying them and surrounding myself with them. I love books.

“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” — Jorge Luis Borges

“The true university of these days is a collection of books.” –Thomas Carlyle

“A library is the delivery room for the birthplace of ideas — a place where history comes to life.” — Norman Cousins

“A good library is a place, a palace where the lofty spirits of all nations and generations meet.” — Samuel Niger

“I cannot live without books.” — Thomas Jefferson

Last week I posted about my friend “Lucy” and her home school preschool. Well this week was my turn and I’ve come to the conclusion that our kids (yes 2 and 3 year olds) have very-extremely-way-muchly-super-duper-uber short attention spans.

Yes.

(moment of silence brought to you by They’re All In Bed)

It’s true.

So after Lucy’s Herculean efforts last week, I planned what I thought were a ton of activities.

1. We sang several songs, sitting or standing on cushions, including a version of The Eensy Weensy spider called The Big Fat Spider, where you sing in a really deep, scratchy voice.

2. They asked to go play with toys.

3. We learned a color, number, (asked for toys) shape (escaped for toys) and letter.

4. We had exercise time (Picture Simon Says where Simon always says and the kids don’t know the difference anyway so they just do what you say. Man, I wish this worked at nap, dinner and cleanup time.).

5. They did a coloring and sticker project.

6. They tried to scale the baby gate to get to the toys.

7. We made pumpkin spice sugar cookies.

8. I read them 4 Halloween stories (wherein each child felt the need to touch each page of each story in succession regardless of whether it was a touchy-feely book).

9. We learned a song about a Jack-O-Lantern but first we learned that a pumpkin with a face is called a Jack-O-Lantern. (Notice that actual learning did occur.)

10. They ran about wildly and asked for toys.

11. I told them a story of a witch looking for a house that turns magically into a pumpkin.
You fold a sheet of paper in half and hold it up with the fold to the bottom. Then the witch needs to make a roof so you cut the top corners off to look like a sloping roof. Then she needs a door so you cut a rectangle up from the bottom of one side. Oh, she can’t fit through with her pointed hat so you cut a triangle up from that. Then you make a triangle door for her cat. Then a square window and she has a beautiful house. You open it up and ……SHE LIVES IN A PUMPKIN! This is when all the kids gave their full attention and clapped like I was a flippin’ genius. It was nice.

12. I made them all witch houses.

13. They pleaded for toys.

14. They colored the pumpkins.

15. ONLY 50 MINUTES HAD PASSED AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP THIS UP FOR 2 HOURS.

16. I gave them the toys.

17. They played and attempted to share and take turns, learning valuable life lessons in the process. Only 1 time-out was issued.

18. I sedated them by playing every song I know on the guitar:
–Leaving on a Jet Plane
–Where Have All the Flowers Gone?
–When You Say Nothin’ at All
–Leavin’ on a Jet Plane
-An Up-Tempo version of Nearer My God to Thee (not exactly the way they sang it on the Titanic, I’m guessing)
–Where Have all the Flowers Gone?
-And for the Grand Finale — Leavin’ on a Jet Plane.

18. And then they did…..leave.

NANOWRIMO word count: 2287

To get along in this world and maintain the portly beauty of your massive rolly thighs, you must learn two things:

Skill #1: Eating amidst distraction — Yes, Laylee is fascinating and it’s hard to look the other way when she is yelling “RAARRRRR” like a tiny but very loud tiger 2 feet from your face as you nurse and patting you “so tenderly” on the head. Yes, I understand your need to pop off and look up at any noise you hear or movement you catch from the corner of your wandering eye.

“What if something actually HAPPENED at our house and I missed it because I was just sitting there eating like a baby?” you ask. “What if I don’t look at Laylee every time she does something hilarious and so she STOPS putting on a show for me at all times?” These concerns must weigh heavily on your mind and so you maintain your constant vigil. However, this must stop, young padawan. You must use the strength of your mind to block out these distractions and focus on the task at hand. That is eating for more than 10 seconds at a sitting.

Skill #2 — Not using me as a human teething ring between each swallow of milk: I don’t think I need to explain this one other than to say —

“If you do not cease and desist, I will cease and desist with the feeding. Get it? Got it? Good!”
~Kathryn, the Daring~

(One of the most hilarious sites I’ve ever seen is by a guy named Rod Barnett who will give $10,000 to anyone who introduces him to his future wife. He lists deep quotes throughout the page and then lists the source of the quote as ~Rod Barnett~. So funny. After seeing his site, I knew that one day I would quote myself on a website. I had to. I must. It was…..my destiny. I’m so sad. I just went there for the first time in 3 years and the site is all smooth and professional now and I couldn’t find any of his self-quotes. It’s still worth a look, though.)

News Briefs:
Magoo has officially achieved army-man crawl status.
Laylee is just breaking her 2-year-old molars which explains some of the crabbishness. She also gave all her diapers to Magoo as a present today so that she can begin her life as a potty-going big girl in earnest.
DY Dad Rocks.
The date for the painting of the house is set for mid-November.
NANOWRIMO word count — 998 (yeah, yeah, I know.)

I think I will now title all my posts “I am [fill in the blank].” Yes, I like to put labels on people, most especially myself. I should not be writing this post at all right now. The very writing of this post is a symptom of what this post is about…..my procrastination.

Today is the first day of NANOWRIMO. I am supposed to be writing approximately 1.735 bazzillion words each day to achieve my goal and write a novel in one month. I have been counting down the days because I was not allowed to start until today. At this moment, my word count is 79, including chapter headings. Yep, I’m already losing this battle.

My fridge is very, very clean. See, I decided that I can’t start neglecting my family, wifely and housily duties to the extent necessary to complete my NANOWRIMO project unless I’ve made some progress in those areas first. This decision came as I sat down to write my first paragraph and became paralyzed with the fear. (I can’t write a book. I’m a crazy nutso looney-job who should check in to the cookoo bin. What was I thinking signing up to do this?)

I’m sure things will look up tomorrow.

Magoo is now (at 5 months) the same size and weight that Laylee was at 14 months, the age I weaned her from nursing. I plan to nurse him for at least 7 more months but can’t imagine how big he’ll get. Okay, I’m lying. I can imagine it and that’s what scares me.

7 months from now, this enormous toddler will be sitting on the couch with me sprawled across his lap, holding my breast in his hands and drinking to his heart’s content. Tonight he decided he would only eat sitting straight up on my lap facing me. Yep, that was fun.

NANOWRIMO COUNT: 79 words (If I had been writing my book instead of this post, it would be about 400.)

So how do you de-junk your house without wasting a bunch of stuff?

1. I took my old cell phone in to The Body Shop to be dontated to battered or homeless women who don’t have access to a phone for emergencies. I found out about the program from a website called Earth 911 that encourages recycling, reusing and responsible disposal of junk.

2. C from Squishy Burrito told me about a site called Freecycle that hooks you up with people from your area who are getting rid of stuff for free. It’s sort of like a no-cost Craig’s List. Very cool.

3. Then there’s my favorite — Frugal Reader where you trade books with people online for the cost of postage. I probably like this one so much because for everything you get rid of, you get a credit to bring one more thing into your house.

4. I want to get rid of some stuff. If anyone wants my stuff, let me know and I will send it to you in the mail. Here’s what I’ve got:

A. VHS copy of Sabrina with Harrison Ford

B. DVD copy of the first Lord of the Rings movie, theatrical version, widescreen, great condition. We’re geeks and got the extended version too.

C. Surprise picture frame of my choosing. I haven’t decided which one yet. I have a ton that I’m not using but can’t bring myself to throw away. This will be an adventure and I hope against hope someone picks this one.

D. Last but not least — a very secret surprise prize that NOT EVEN I know what it is yet. It’s just an incentive for me to get rid of something else. If you choose option D, I will be forced to further de-junk.

I may list more free, light-weight stuff on here for no reason except it’s FUN!

What do you do to de-junk your house? This can include methods of weeding, places to donate, etc. Any tip relating to de-junking will be accepted.

07.25.06 Small Talk

07.18.06 Tip Topics

07.11.06 More Readers

06.27.06 Cooling Down

06.13.06 Vacataion Planning

06.06.06 Father’s Day Fun

05.30.06 Soft Foods

05.23.06 Moving Tips

05.16.06 First Impressions

05.09.06 Put Them to Work

05.02.06 Best Children’s Book

04.25.06 Birthday Party Ideas

04.18.06 The More the Merrier

04.11.06 Potty Training

04.04.06 Family Films – Off the Beaten Track

03.28.06 Dirty Laundry

03.21.06 Best Book – Alive or Dead

03.14.06 Kitchen Effitchency

03.07.06 Making Lists

02.28.06 Babysitter-Free Date Nights

02.21.06 Losing Weight – No Crazy Diets

02.14.06 Repressed Passion Movies

02.07.06 ALL Day LONG

01.31.06 Valentine’s Day – Romantic Surprises

01.24.06 What’s For Lunch?

01.17.06 Eating out With Kids

01.10.06 To the Happy Couple

01.03.06 Name My Van – A Tip Day Contest!

12.27.05 Ringing in the New Year

12.20.05 Driving With Kids

12.13.05 Holiday Traditions

12.06.05 Christmas Gifts-For People Who Have Everything

11.29.05 Keeping a Toddler Occupied on a Rainy Day

11.22.05 Making Time for Yourself

11.15.05 “Cleaning” Your House Quick – somebody’s coming over

11.08.05 Eating More Vegetables

11.01.05 Dejunking without Waste

10.11.05 Outside Help

10.18.05 Kitchen Organization

10.25.05 Getting Rid of Telemarketers

Recently Jessica wrote that her Parenting Magazines were talking to her. The same sort of thing has been happening with my Palm.

Tonight I was using the calculator when the thing freaked out, turned black and asked me if I wanted to erase all data. Hmmm….let me think about that. My entire life plan is contained on that little piece of equipment and if all data were erased, I’d most likely disappear in a puff of smoke or crumple to the ground like the wicked witch, “I’m melting. I’m melting.”

“No thank you,” I replied.

My data was not lost but I had to reset all my preferences and when I went back to the calculator, it had the number 666 on the screen. Do do Do do Do do Do do. Freaky, eh?

A more uplifting message came during my anxiety-ridden weeks shortly after Magoo was born. During that time I became super, uber religioso, hoping to pray my way out of a chemical imbalance. I’d downloaded my scriptures and hymn lyrics to my palm and was reading them one day when my Palm lost its mind.

After resetting and recovering the little computer, I reopened the scripture program and it had skipped from the scripture I was reading to this hymn:

The Lord Is My Shepherd
1. The Lord is my Shepherd; no want shall I know.
I feed in green pastures; safe-folded I rest.
He leadeth my soul where the still waters flow,
Restores me when wand’ring, redeems when oppressed,
Restores me when wand’ring, redeems when oppressed.

2. Thru the valley and shadow of death though I stray,
Since thou art my Guardian, no evil I fear.
Thy rod shall defend me, thy staff be my stay.
No harm can befall with my Comforter near.
No harm can befall with my Comforter near.

3. In the midst of affliction my table is spread.
With blessings unmeasured my cup runneth o’er.
With perfume and oil thou anointest my head.
Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?
Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?
Text: James Montgomery, 1771—1854; based on Psalm 23

These words brought me a lot of comfort when I really needed it. Maybe the spirit controlling my Palm is a good one afterall.

The first story seemed more creep-propriate for Halloween, though. Happy Halloween everybody!

Cause it’s inspirational quote day on Daring Young Mom and this one’s definitely worthy of inscription on a table runner or pilla’ of some sort.

Take a minute, bust a prayer and you good to go.
~M.C. Hammer~

Surcie has inspired me to talk about what the heck our kids are subjected to on the radio lately. I personally think it’s quite precious that Laylee (Little-C) says “Bob Marley is my favorite mutsic.” I especially like it when she quotes him in casual dinner conversation.

“Mommy, stand up for your rights.”
“Okay, I will.”
More seriously now, “Don’t give up the fight.”
“Okay.”

She’s not quite old enough to ask about drug use or civil unrest and uprising. We’ll have to grow into that one.

She is REALLY good at picking up on lyrics and lately she’s started singing along with Lenny Kravitz, Raffi, John Mayer and Green Day, anybody that comes on the radio and asking me what they’re talking about.

As much as I love the Kravitz, I don’t want my kid singing or saying the F-bomb.

Raffi is excellent. “Robin in the rain, what a saucy fellow.”
“Mom, what is saucy?” I’m totally on it.

We love the John but I don’t think “Your Body is a Wonderland” is something I want to explain.

Green Day? I’ve listened to them on the radio since junior high but I pretty much want to steer clear.
“What did he just say?”
“Oh, they bleeped that word out. That’s why it sounded funny”
“What word?”
“Let’s listen to Raffi again.”

Lately we’ve been listening mostly to church primary songs in the car. She begs for the Apricot Corn Song — Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree. I was a bit confused when she asked me to please do the “Asians” while we were listening to it this week. (Mother as mind-reader strikes again — she wanted the Actions!)

Yes, that’s right. I am willing to take one for the team and obscond with your exquisite bedroom set. You know, the extra one you ordered from Pottery Barn “just in case” and now have no idea what to do with?

We’re still in the free furniture stage of our marriage. I’m not really sure if we’ll ever exit this stage as long as our friends continue to be so generous. We are sort of the babies on the block and have awesome friends who’d rather share their belongings than sell them when they upgrade.

We don’t yet have the money to buy the pieces we REALLY want and we don’t want to waste money buying half-steps, so we just go for free, and a lot of this free stuff IS what we really want. We’ve scored bigtime!

Oak dining table and chairs — The Matsonites
Bookshelves, end tables, dresser, reclining rocker, file cabinet and piano — Dan’s parents
Office furniture, side table, chest of drawers — Hi and Ri
Dresser, crib, bookshelf, our mattress and box spring (from wedding budget), handmade hope chest — my parents
Toddler bed — J.K. not Rowlings
Changing table — Leese
Armoire for children’s books — Target gift cards from our wedding
First free couch — Jules
Upgraded free couch (sorry Jules) — Dan’s work classified adds
Entertainment armoire and TV — Jud Ed

Now don’t be hatin’! We’ve actually purchased a few things here and there, several bookcases, storage armoires, old furniture we’ve refurbished, slipcovers, etc.

One thing no one has found it in their hearts to give us is a bedroom set or a headboard, which brings me to a point — Friday Show and Tell.Here’s my bed — with a few “embellishments” courtesy of my kindergarten-level abilities with Paint:

I would like to mention that our beautiful quilt was also a wedding present. Sadly patriots, you will not find another star or stripe of any kind scattered throughout our room, not for lack of free gifts but because I don’t want to sleep in the Fourth of July (you know, fireworks and all).

If you’d like to see any improvements to this lovely picture, please send bedroom set — STAT!