Magoo Likes to Talk

Magoo loves his new book, Night Creatures, a Scholastic book order pick that teaches about all things nocturnal. With its help, he’s busily categorizing everyone and everything as either nocturnal or diurnal. Charles Ingalls from LHOTP is like a night creature because he sometimes works all day and then sleeps in late on Sundays so he’s unable to make it to church.

He told me that I’m nocturnal as well. “You’re nocturnal b’guzzz you get up in the night and FEEED the baby.” Somehow “feed” came across as something very creepy and vampire-like.

He’s blown away by the radness that is breastfeeding. He wants to watch. He wants to help.

So Mr. Personality was watching me pump milk for Wanda the other day, Wanda the blessed saint of taking a bottle perfectly on demand but taking the breast on demand as well, when he noticed that one breast was not producing as well as the other.

“Umm… Mom. That one doesn’t do very much milk from it.”

Then with a look that showed he suddenly realized that what he’d said might be offensive to my left breast, he backpedaled by adding, “But you’re, well, you’re kind of like the best mom ever.”

He is completely enamored with the breast pump.

“Do you know why it’s so cool mom? It’s so cool because it’s like a machine… IN A BAG!”

Yes. It’s exactly like that.

The day before Thanksgiving, Magoo was going on and on about what he’d get in his basket the next day. “I hope I get the same stuff as last year, chocolate, a rubber snake, lots of candy.”

“I think you’re talking about Easter. Thanksgiving doesn’t have any presents. We just eat turkey and are thankful for stuff.”

“Oh. Well, can I have the turkey leg then?”

“We don’t usually eat a whole turkey leg. We just slice it up and eat the slices.”

“Then what do we do with its big brown head?”

“We (“we” meaning the farmers and turkey hunters who sell their products to the grocery store) cut off its head, pluck its feathers and cook just the body.”

“Eeewwww! That sounds really gross… But I like it.”