Well, little baby heil-y-Magoolinstein has started doing an actual wave when he greets or says goodbye to people. It is quite adorable really, with the cuteness aggravated by the fact that he gets so excited at his own hand waving that he often laughs until he tips over backwards.
But this does not get him down. Very little seems to get him down. By now he’s used to the constant mouth sweeping I do, whenever he makes that “I’ve got something very dangerous concealed behind these puckered lips and I dare you to get it out” face. He’s used to blamming into walls, furniture and doll equipment. (Yes, they have “equipment.” Welcome to MY world.) He just happily bounces along to his next endeavor.
I fear that after my mars rover post, I left people with the idea that boys are very scary beings, who should be avoided at all costs. This is not the case. In my limited experience, they’re just more curious than girls.
We finally went to see Curious George and I really loved it. It was the first animated feature I’ve seen in so long that was truly aimed at little children and full of color and fun, innocence, mishap and friendship. Laylee loved the part where George played peek-a-boo with the audience from under the man’s yellow hat. Even Magoo remained transfixed for most of the film.
I think he really identified with the main character. They are similar in that neither of them tries to wipe out entire city blocks. It just happens. They want to take things apart, touch everything, taste everything, see how it works. Often disaster ensues but they both have good hearts, sweet personalities, smiles to melt even the coldest person (like me — seriously. I’m freezing right now), and neither of them has a neck that I can discover.
Little girls are not the only people made of sugar, spice and everything nice. Just as boys are not the only people fascinated with their bodily functions.
Recently my high school friend “Jo” came to visit and brought a huge box of delicious bakery treats. Laylee chose a rather large chocolate covered coconut cluster. Worried about how she would like the coconut, I asked her if it tasted okay.
She gave me that eye-rolling look and said, “It’s COVERED in chocolate and so I like it. I like it because…..it’s COVERED in chocolate.” Okay. Chocolate=you like it. Got it.
In no time at all, SHE was covered in chocolate from fingertip to forearm, with some on the chest, just for show. I decided I liked her too, but not for eating. At the height of her chocolatude, she yelled out, “OOOHH! I have to go potty,” and started dancing around the kitchen.
Me: Okay, go then.
Laylee: OOO KAAAAY! (running down the hall)
a second later
Laylee: OOOHH! Mommy! HEEELLLP!
Me: What?
Laylee: I can’t go potty because of the CHOCOLATE.
I run down the hall and lift her to liquid safety. While she’s “pottying” (Isn’t that such a nice, feminine, motherly way of saying it? I stole it from my friend Sandra.) she gets this squinty-eyed, impish grin on her face.
Me: What?
Laylee: I just did a brown poop.
Me: Hmm.
Laylee: And brown poop……is like chocolate.
I vividly remember her telling me emphatically 6 months ago, NOT TO TASTE IT when I found her playing with the contents of her diaper. Both of these statements concern me to a degree that leaves me unable to respond.
Today, I concluded a short telephone conversation with Dan. I say it was 30 seconds. He says it was 4 minutes, according to the timer on the microwave he was using to bring his lunch to the optimum “no stirring needed” temperature. Let’s call it 2 and a half minutes, just to be fair.
I can hear flushing and squealing coming from the bathroom. I run down the hall to see Laylee trying to flush Magoo. He has his hands as far down as he can get them into the bowl of the toilet and she is flushing again. He screams out with delight, giggling hysterically and shoving them down further.
We have a moment of silence in remembrance of the carefully planned preschool lesson I gave last week on germs and hand washing. Everyone is scrubbed and bathed, not much of a punishment for people who think it’s fun to play in the toilet. The tub is just like a bigger one with more toys in it.
Now a small teaser for those of you who were part of the big order: Keep an eye on your mailboxes. If you’ve paid me, they’re co-ming…
Jeana says
Oh, I am laughing out loud at the toilet story, and the “moment of silence.” Hysterical.
And, on a different note, sigh. Baby cheeks. Oh, so sweet! The one of Magoo and Daddy is priceless.
Sheri says
There is nothing so sweet as a glance at a sleeping baby.
Elena says
duh!..milkshake, chocolate, lemonade!
Kim C. says
If I laugh so hard that spit lands on the monitor, does that means it’s ok for me to steal this post for you know what?
Or were you going to give it to me already?
Tell the truth: when things like this happen in your life, do you sooth yourself by mentally composing the next blog post as you clean up the aftermath? My kids tell me it’s the sign of a true addict.
Barb Szyszkiewicz, sfo says
I didn’t think you were scaring people off boys. Of course, I have 2 of My Very Own, so I’ve known for some time just how they can be. Never a dull moment–and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Loved that Calvin & Hobbes flushing story!
Rileys Mom* says
Where can i get me one of those nifty t-shirts?
Rachelle says
I am so laughing at your toilet story. And your moment of silence. You have a way with words.
carrie says
LOVE the flushing story. Kim, I like your comment about composing the next blog post while you clean up the aftermath!
DYM, I saw your blog mentioned in that BabyTalk (or which ever one it was) magazine online… congrats!
Goslyn says
Oh, I love it, I love it! Those pics of Magoo are just adorable.
And too funny about the toilet.
Kristen says
Love the toilet story. Priceless! The pics are precious!
jessica says
A brown poop in the toilet! How fabulous! I can only dream of those days right now 🙂
owlhaven says
Flushing and squealing…. oh, my! And you had to break up all the fun! bad momma! grin
Mary, mom to many
Amber says
I am scared of boys 😉
Of course my girls can get pretty destructive as well.
Yesterday Megan pooped in her panties- she kept telling us it wasn’t poop it was candy!
Heidi says
Gotta admit, you lost this non-mama when I got to the poop part…
momofalltrades says
How FUNNY! That girl loves her some chocolate, thank-you-very-much! And the toilet flushing, isn’t it funny how, when you don’t have a developed ick factor, how very much fun rushing, swirling water can be when mommy has her head turned?! Ah, how can ya punish cute?
Pam in Utah says
Cute kids and cute pictures. Too bad about the toilet flushing incident. Kinda scary, actually. These kids like to scare you from the get-go, don’t they. Well, you’re doing a great job.
Shalee says
LOL!
I remember when we had a couple over one night for dinner. We both had three year old daughters who loved to play together. When we were sitting around the table talking, my daughter comes in and her hair is all wet. I ask her what was going on. She said she and Bailey were washing their hair.
Too bad it was in the toilet…
Kids… God certainly does reward us for keeping them around!
Margaret says
My sister overheard her 5 year old daughter saying to her 3 year old son, “I love you, too, but please don’t hug me when I’m sitting on the potty.”
Even ATTEMPTING to visualize that cracks me!
Why do we LOVE toilet stories?!
Nutella says
I wonder where he (and Laylee) thought his hands would go? Too cute.
Heather from One Woman's World says
Magoo’s teeth are killing me. I may die. Also, he is losing his baby fat! Zut alors! I am terrified and laughing at the toilet stories. It’s amazing that any of us ever live to grow up!
Dapoppins says
Very funny stories! Thankfully, my kids skipped the toilet facination, (for the most part) and your daughters direction not to TASTE it, a priceless baby book moment to use as torture in later years. With three boys and a youngest daughter, I have learned that daughters are very busy too!
The Daring One says
Truth, Kim? In my mind, every wild thing the kids do occurs to me as a possible blog topic. It makes me much less likely to LOSE IT when they make a mess or do something nuts.
It’s my version of the Pollyanna “Glad Game.” Ah well, at least it will make a good post.
the voice says
I will never look at chocolate the same.
Amy says
Thanks for linking the “poop” post. I love following your little trails. Too, too funny.
LammyAnn says
SAW YOUR AD IN THE BABYTALK MAG!!
YIPPEE FOR YOU!
Is it weird that when I read that, I was thinking “Oh! That’s my friend… I read her’s all the time! along with BYH”.
Congrats sweetie!~
lammyann says
Oops I didn’t mean “AD” I meant “someone mentioning your site!” eek.
lackrik says
Just came across your blog today!
Totally funny! And your little guy is SOOOO cute! Love the teeth. 😉
Heth says
I love the part about neither of them “intending” to wipe out entire city blocks, it just happens.
Ah boys.
surcie says
Laylee is one smart cookie, isn’t she? Sounds like you were calmer than I would’ve been in the face of sibling flushing.
Speaking of flushing, got any potty training tips? I need to start doing it, but I dread it!
Grammy says
Oh! Our baby gots teeth! He looks so grown up. I can hardly wait to squinch him.
The toilet story reminds me of the day your sister got stuck in our toilet up to her knees in a blanket sleeper and OH the SCREAMING. Apparently that water was just freezing.
mom on the gulf coast says
Alright woman, you somehow, through your post a few days ago, implanted a horrible subliminal suggestion in my sons head.
I was online this evening talking to my husband, who is overseas, using IM, great stuff! T, our son was watching one of his favorite kids shows, giving me a moment or two of freedom on the computer (otherwise screaming jealousy doth rear its ugly head). I was letting him run around in just a diaper as it had gotten a bit warm in the house over the course of the afternoon. He, of course, had his hands firmly down the front of said diaper, what he does anytime he’s given the freedom to do so, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed him take his hand out, inspect it, and put it into his mouth. I naively assumed he found a bit of rice in the front left over from the dinner we had just finished, I’m not overly worried about those kinds of “leftovers” either. So I kept talk/typing with my husband.
A few moments later T came over to my chair continuously smacking his mouth with a horrible look on his face. I noticed his hand was messy too. Messy with your so-called “noxious confection”! I was horrified and typed a quick, “T is eating poo!” on the computer so I could rush to clean him up. T even let me use a baby wipe on his tongue, so Lylee’s admonition of never tasting “it” is a good one.
I was absolutely horrified but somewhere deep inside, past the area where I was screaming, cringing, and retching, I was also laughing a fit. My first thought was of your post, and how at the time of first reading, I felt it would be our turn soon. I even directed my hubby, to your site to read the post, I found it uproariously funny and knew he would too. However, I had no idea the post would be that prophetic! Gahhh, I can only hope T learned a lesson, but I don’t think so. We took a shower together this evening, I wanted to scrub him thoroughly, and shortly after, while he was again running about in only a diaper, I found him again with both hands shoved deeply into the diaper. Sigh. My husband says its Trevor’s favorite pull-toy and the fascination will never end.
So in short, I love reading your blog but I’ll thank you not to jinx me again (unless it’s to get a great parking spot at Target!).
Oh, when I was finally able to get back online with my husband he was properly sympathetic but admitted that he had also been laughing, can’t blame him though, I assume you have chuckled at least once at my misfortune as well. 😉