We’ve wanted this baby for a long time. In Proud Daughter of Eve’s comment on my last post, she referred to a post I wrote back in August of 2006 about feeling ready for another baby after weaning Magoo.
My heart was ready but my brain and body weren’t. If you’ve read this blog for long, you know I had a rough time after Magoo was born. You can follow this link to read the whole story but the Reader’s Digest version is, I was overcome with severe panic and anxiety disorder a week after his birth that caused a near complete breakdown and required serious medical intervention.
He was also a huge baby, 10lbs. 8oz., and he ripped my body apart. I used walkers and canes and those little motorized carts at the grocery store, needed Dan’s help to dress myself, and went through some intense physical therapy.
It was rough. We fought through it and when I wrote that post in 2006, I was mainly physically recovered and on brain meds and feeling good and really ready to continue our family. The timing just didn’t seem right. Although my doctor told me that I could get pregnant on the medication with little chance of even minor effects on the baby, I wanted to be drug free and proud before we tried again.
A little over a year later I was off my meds and feeling great. I started working out and we began trying for a baby. In November of last year, I had what we think was an early term miscarriage and all the postpartum symptoms came flooding back. It was hard to want to keep going with our family plan and the idea of living life as a family of 4 became very appealing to me. I told Dan I thought I was done. He sweetly and calmly told me he didn’t think so. I knew he was right. Our family is not complete yet.
The thought of waiting another 3 years to wean off medication before trying again was too much to take and I went back to my doctor to hear more about the studies and what they revealed about the safety of my anxiety meds. Satisfied, we went forward with our plan.
When I’m trying to have a baby, I become sort of obsessed with pregnancy tests. I firmly believe that the more tests you take, the higher chance you have of becoming pregnant. Just keep taking them and one day one will be positive.
In early January, it was that test-taking time of the month so I took a couple without achieving my desired results. A couple of days later I was dropping Magoo off with Eve on my way to a doctor’s appointment and I asked her if she had any spare tests lying around I could borrow. Then I did a stupid thing and asked her if I could use her bathroom. It wasn’t until after I’d peed on the stick that it occurred to me it may be positive. If it was positive, then Eve would find out before my husband. Not cool.
Of course it was positive and I called frantically from the bathroom, “Can I borrow your phone?”
“AAAAAAAAAA!” she screamed as she passed the receiver through the crack in the door. I dialed all of Dan’s 10 phone numbers and he answered none of them. Crap! So, I exited the bathroom and walked for the front door of the house without a look in Eve’s direction. “I will not speak to you at this time,” I mumbled.
She followed me to my car, screaming like an excited cheerleader. I carried the stick in my purse for the rest of the day, too excited to think how disgusting that was. And soon I got a hold of Dan and we rejoiced and freaked out a little and I called my naturopath, my OB and my brain doctor. The team was in place.
Brain meds were closely monitored. I was immediately put on progesterone because my levels were far too low for a pregnant woman and we scheduled my first ultrasound for the 8-week mark. Almost as soon as I started the progesterone, I began to feel nauseous and sick with the most miserable heartburn I’ve ever experienced. Honestly I hate that stuff with a passion.
At the ultrasound, I was fairly sick but doing alright. Until we got a look at the baby. It was teeny, much smaller than expected. This meant that either my dates were wrong and I was pretty sure my dates were not wrong or that the baby wasn’t growing as expected. I tried to hold it together until the doctor left, telling me not to worry, that we’d just check again in 3 weeks to see if it had grown 3 week’s worth. Then I fell apart. I think I cried for 5 hours until I felt peace. Then we just waited.
Each day I got sicker to the point where I was throwing up sometimes several times a day. The heartburn made drinking water painful and I had no energy, barely keeping down enough calories to function. The first trimester of my pregnancy is brought to you by PBS Kids and the Wii.
I wanted to blog about what was going on but didn’t want to explain everything if things didn’t work out. I also have a hard time telling strangers about my baby when it still looks like a translucent seahorse with an alien-like melon head and nubs for arms. I want to be sure it’s human before I announce it from the rooftops… er internet tops.
So three weeks later, I returned to the doctor to check in. The nursed asked how I’d been doing. “Well, I’ve been really sick,” I complained. She smiled her nursely smile that says, “All pregnant women feel sick,” and nodded reassuringly. Then I got on the scale and she kept sliding the weight down and down. I had lost 12 pounds in those three weeks. “Wow!” she said, looking me in the eyes, “You’ve been REALLY sick.”
“Yeah.”
The ultrasound showed that the baby had grown even more than expected in a three week period and it waved its little flipper hand things at me wildly while its heart beat strongly and I felt my whole body relax.
I’m due sometime in mid September. My sweet Wicked tickets are for the first week in September so hopefully I will have stopped barfing by then and not yet have dropped my load. The day after the show seems like a fine due date to me.
Weight Watchers refunded my money and it turns out that the pregnancy bulimia diet is a much more effective form of weight loss than WW ever was so I guess it all worked out in the end.
I’m still sick. I’m still spending more time lying down than standing up. I eat crackers a lot and sometimes they stay down. I’m grateful and nervous and excited all at once. And don’t get me started on the kids. Never in the history of the world have two kids been more excited about a coming sibling. First of all, its presence allows them to play video games until their brains rot, one of their greatest wishes. Secondly, they’ve been begging for a baby for years, wondering why everyone else gets a baby but us.
They weigh in on names. Laylee likes Lucy and Daisy, Summer, Spring and Faller. Magoo is partial to names that remind him of “good sings” like Big Cheese, Light Bulb and Fred.
I’m not sold on any real names yet but I’m already coming up with internet aliases. I’m thinking Kip for a boy or Wanda for a girl. Is it wrong that I think of their blog names first? Don’t answer that.
Delurking to wish you all the best!
Laylee’s names remind me of the names my sister used to say she was going to name her kids: Summer, Winter, Autumn, Spring and Diddlysquat.
My sister is weird.
Oh, I’m so glad you got on the progesterone and that the baby looks great. Progesterone is kind of a miracle thing, as annoying as the side effects are. I’ve had to take it with all four of my pregnancies (including this one).
I get weird side effects from it – a terrible cough (apparently only happens in 8% of users – I’m SO LUCKY) and mood swings. (My first OB said that mood swings shouldn’t be a side effect of progesterone intake, that it was all in my head, like the placebo effect. When I told my current OB about that the 1st OBs theory, she just laughed and laughed and told me many women experience heightened emotions and mood swings when taking progesterone. SWEET VINDICATION.)
Hope you get feeling better soon and that the baby keeps right on growing :>
PBS Kids and Wii sponsored MY first trimester too. I’m sorry you’ve been so sick, but happy all is well with Kip or Wanda. I’m not sure what my kids are more excited about, the new baby (mine comes at the end of July) or all the stuff they are getting away with because I’m too tired/sick to stop them.
Darling, I started getting nauseous reading this. You described the joyless weight loss and cracker eating of all my pregnancies, all 9 months. Not for a million dollars will I ever do that again. My second pregnancy was full of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and my third, lots of Dora, Blue’s Clues, and the Simpsons. My children are well-educated. If I lived on your street, I would take your kids every day until Dan got home. So they could watch some Simpsons too.
I am so happy for you! I always get the heartburn too. It is the worst! I would chug Mylanta straight from the bottle. Good luck!
I’m so sorry to hear how sick you’ve been, but I’m glad your baby is looking strong and healthy.
Congrats! I’m so happy for you! Jealous too. Seems like everyone around me is having a baby and I just had my tubes tied. Even though I knew I’d love another baby, I did it because I knew I didn’t want another toddler or mouthy pre-adolecent. So I guess I’ll just live vicariously through everyone else!
Grow baby, grow!
What a beautiful baby! Thanks for all the details on stuff- I’ll be praying for you and the new little one.
I’m so with you on the half of pregnancy being a much better weight-loss plan than weight watchers- I didn’t lose as much as you, but ended up about 10 pounds down from my pre-preg weight at 20 weeks. We wont discuss how much I’ve made up for it since then… 🙂
Hope you feel all better soon!
Glad things are “easing up” a bit, and hope things continue on in an improving sort of fashion in the energy department. 🙂
Woo hoo! Wonderful news! Totally think it is both fine and necessary to come up with an internet name first. I’d vote for “LB” short for Light Bulb 🙂 Bonus: Gender neutral!
Congrats again. I’m glad things are well and hope the sickness tapers off. I like Lucy as the internet name. It’s cute! Laylee and Lucy…and of course Magoo.
CONGRATS!!! What awesome news!
I’m pretty sure you promised us a McFrick or Throckmorton next time. My vote is totally for Throckmorton since I couldn’t talk Husband into it for Bitsy.
Oh, and Bitsy totally had a blog name before she had a real name.
BTW, I sure hope the marathon puking ends before you blow away in a strong breeze!
I have my little one’s blog name picked out but am still hashing out a “real” name for her. I hear you on the whole progesterone thing and the not telling until your sure. Hope the sickness fades soon and they take you off the progesterone. I was happy to be finished with the first trimester so I could be done with it for a while. :0) Good luck to you all!
Big Cheese–hee!
Hang in there! I’m due in the very end of August and my main complaint is lower back pain ALL THE TIME. But that sure beats puking! Being pregnant can be such a nerve wracking experience.
I still don’t have internet aliases for my kiddos yet, but I’m going to have to come up with some now that baby number three is going to tip the gender scale. My son wanted to name the baby “blubber fat”. Ahem. He likes whales.
ok first of all CONGRATULATIONS !!! I wish I lived closer so I could pop by and hug you and pinch your cheeks and rub your belly. I guess I’ll just have to do it virtually.
Secondly, I do love the description of when you found out with Eve shrieking at you. LOVE.
Finally, please oh please name it Big Cheese for the internet name!! Please? 😉
(hugs)
Woohoohoo!!! That’s wonderful news! I’m so very very happy for you.
Oh wow! Congratulations!
As far as naming the kids for the blog, I usually take one of my favorites from the discard pile… the one I couldn’t fasttalk Dadguy into. I still cannot understand why he does not want children named Birdie, Pearl, LaLa or Henry. What an odd man.
I hope you are feeling better soon! My kids are also watching a lot more TV than they should because I am so tired all the time. I want to hibernate until the end of my pregnancy.
Hmmmm. Kip and Wanda are BOTH awesome bloggy names.
Congratulations. I hope your water doesn’t break during Wicked…
Haha, those names remind me of the ones my younger cousin came up with for her unborn sister. I think my favorite was Cinnamon Applesauce. Of course, this is the same child who named her first cat Candy Whiskers, so I really don’t know why I was surprised.
Our baby (You do all the puking. I take all the credit.) is Gorgeous! I’m going to be so glead when little whozits is safely here and I can spend my time and energy neck-kissing. Love you! Feel better!
Congrats. I fully understand the waiting to find out if a baby is okay. I’ve been through 2 miscarriages before finding out that my body does not make enough progesterone to support a pregnancy on it’s own. God has now blessed us with 2 little boys. I’m so pleased to hear that your little one is doing so well. Blessings.
Hooray Hooray for you! My first was born in mid-september. It’s my favorite month, always has been. Congrats. I wish you well in your pre-natal woes. A friend swears that citrus fragrances and drinking diet squirt kill the barfies for her. I don’t really get barfy, but I do get excess saliva in my mouth that makes me choke and dry heave round the clock for about 6 months. Ugh. Good thing the sacrifice is worth it. Happy happy for you.
congrats homeslice!
Congratulations, again! It’s a cute little thing with flippers!
I am seriously SO excited for you!
I had postpartum with my first baby and wasn’t sure I would ever want another. But I knew we weren’t done! My second baby will have his first birthday tomorrow. :o)
Congrats!
Congratulations!!! I am so excited for you. I hope you feel better sooner rather than a whole lot later! =)
Thanks for sharing as much as you do. It’s seems so much from over here! Take care of yourself and the littlest Daring and everything else will work out. Magoo and Laylee can be weaned from tv when you’re up for it. Like when you’ve potty trained Kip/Wanda. 🙂
I would love to hear more about your decision/drive/conviction to have a third child. I think the most annoying thing I hear is, “Oh you have one boy and one girl? You don’t need anymore kids then!” As if I’m being greedy.
You know you need one to replace each parent and then an extra for spare parts.
*lol* One of my first thoughts was “Gee, I wonder what baby’ll be called on the blog!” Hey, I’ve got a thought. “Daring Young Baby” until he or she has developed a personality that can be nick-named. 🙂
Oh, and I got mentioned on your blog! Whee! *dorks out for a sec*
Did you notice that your ‘names’ Kip and Wanda are really close to Kip and Lafonda The historical epic romance found in the touching and exciting thriller “Napoleon Dynamite’
Just wondering if that was on purpose, maybe a ‘Frodian slip’ ?
Congrats!!
Aubrey
Congrats. I just wanted to let you know that I have been on a pretty high dosage of anti-depressants throughout both of my pregnancies and my babies are perfect and happy and healthy. My daughter is almost 2 and I went through a terrible time when I was pregnant with her… very sick and then very depressed/ anxious and tried many different medications until I felt sane again and she is very healthy and actually a little advanced ( I know, all mommies say that. ) It always helped to hear others success stories, so I wanted to share. Enjoy your growing baby.
Translucent sea horse…melon head…nubs…no one ever said it more truthfully! It is kind of hard to get excited about such a scary sight except, it’s a BABY! And it’s yours! Congratulations.
Sorry about the nausea and puking. I was laughing so much about your pregnancy test that I made DH and his bro listen while I read it . Here’s hoping you can keep down some real food and that little McThrock will just keep on growing.
Congrats Kathryn, I wish you many days of less barfing. 🙂
Oh Kathryn!!! How incredibly exciting! Congrats on this blessing. I know how you have been wanting this sweet child for the longest time.
May your barfing cease and may your next few months be filled with awe and joy… And may you get to go to Wicked before your baby decides to make an entry to remember.
Congratulations on your new little Squoosher. 🙂
We are expecting our third child, a girl, in May, and when we told our two boys that she’s a girl they immediately started suggesting names including Van and Snowflake. LOL. Lucky kid.
Oh bless your heart. And your baby. And the rest of everyone.
Oh congrats! I’ve had the come-back-in-three-weeks experience…Actually what the doctor said was come back so we can do the D&C as soon as possible. Grrr. And when I came back the pretty little baby waved his hands. Ahhh. Power and love and patience to you!!!!
First, Congratulations a million times over! Second, holy cow, a girl misses a few days of blog reading and something like this happens!!! Sending best wishes your way!!!
I’m sitting here with a big stoopid smile on my face.
First; CONGRATULATIONS! (again).
Second: If WandaKip derails your attendance at the Wicked performance, I’m only 4 hours away.
*the pin story is a classic! 🙂
Oh, Congratulations!!!! That’s so wonderful (well, not the sick and throwing up part, but the baby part).
I am so excited for you!!! And glad your little ‘Faller’ or ‘LightBulb’ is doing well. 🙂
Hubby & I are ‘trying’ now…although we call it ‘waiting for God to bless us’…and I am the exact opposite with preggo tests…they are SUCH an emotional experience for me, that I will NOT take one until I have had the nausea for three days. 🙂
Oh happy sigh!!
PBS Kids has taken up residency in my daughter’s house, too. She has been sick as a dog for much of her pregnancy and, at 35 weeks, has only gained 9 pounds. That made her nervous, but her midwife says the baby is measuring well and certainly is active, so not to worry. The baby does fine while Mom is the one to suffer. Hope you feel better soon.
Light Bulb… has a certain ring to it. 🙂
Congrats many times over! I am THRILLED for you … now I am off to find my own Wicked tickets 🙂 !!
congrats on the pregnancy
yuckers on having such a hard one
thanks for keeping it real
WOW! Congratulations.
I’m 10 1/2 weeks pregnant with my first, due October 6th, and I’m very excited. I thought I’d had things rough with sickness, but now I see I’ ve had nothing! I hope and pray that it gets better soon.
Hey! Congratulations on the pregnancy!
And… um… I HEAR you on post-gigantic baby complications. My Boy was a hefty ten pounds, too, and afterwards was just lovely.
But my next baby? Weighed a petite 7 pounds! No post-baby complications at all! One birth doesn’t predict the next, right?
Praying for a safe and easy pregnancy. xoxo
I should learn that when I’ve been neglecting my blog reads, it may be because HF knows I can’t deal with life.
Congratulations though— really and truly.
Even though I am so blastedly jealous.
I’m just a random reader, and I won’t share how much we’ve done, or how long we’ve tried. But…
It’s crazy to be happy for someone but to be crying for you when you don’t even know them. Hormones are weird that way.
Your below post. My list is long- but no luck yet. Maybe I should get some happy pills- since my doctor thinks I’m losing it.
Yay! Yay! Hooray!
Baby!
Big Cheese. That sounds good.
Video games and blog aliases made me snort laughter through my nose.
xoxo
j.
Hi,
Just randomly stumbled on this and I just wanted to say, I hope you and your family are very very happy. You’re a funny writer and I really enjoyed your post. All the best to you!
Laura