So things are moving along. Wanda is aging rapidly. We’ve moved her out of our room and I’ve decided it’s time to purchase some new Snazzy Jammies.
The problem is – I hate buying Snazzy Jammies. Now if you go to the Snazzy Jammie store to buy them, it’s not embarrassing because everyone in the store is there for the same reason, but who wants to spend that kind of money which only goes to pay for more of those life-sized posters right next to the kids’ play area at the mall?
No. When I’m looking for Snazzy Jammies, I usually look at Target or Kohl’s.
The problem is – Most people at Target and Kohl’s are not purchasing Snazzy Jammies. They are there looking for rain boots or a kitchen timer, maybe a roll of scotch tape. I like all of those things as much as the next person and so I usually try to camouflage my Snazzy Jammie purchase by spending way too much on sundries but, really, you cannot totally camouflage SJs. You just can’t.
A piece of Snazzy fabric may stick out from under your bag of diapers, giving your Snazzy-Jammy-Wearing ways away to curious bystanders. And at some point the checker will have to pull them out of their hiding place under the bathmat on the conveyer belt to scan them. She can either scan them discreetly or hold them up to the light, taking the hanger out with an eye-catching flourish and turning them from side to side in order to check out just how Snazzy they are. I’ve had both. I prefer discreet.
And I always feel like she’s looking at me a little too hard. Maybe she’s wondering if Snazzy Jammies should even come in the size I’m purchasing. So what if I’m wearing no makeup, have my hair in a bun and am sporting sweat pants. A woman carrying a mom-purse so big that it sets off the flashing “fasten seatbelt” light when she puts it on the passenger seat of her mini-van is still entitled to feel Snazzy once in a while. I think it’s in the constitution somewhere… or at the very least one of the amendments.
This sort of thing is why self-checkout is worth the annoying voice telling you to place your item in the bagging area EVERY SINGLE TIME. Too bad Target and Kohl’s decide to employ actual people instead. But really, the privacy thing is nice.
And it never fails, the day you need to buy Snazzy Jammies is the day you run into the Church Gossip. And then your Snazzy Jammies become the bandaid you’re putting on your troubled marriage instead of the HEY THERE’S NO BABY IN MY ROOM confetti you’re actually throwing 🙂
There is no reason to be ashamed of Snazzy Jammies. How do they think you got to carry a mom-sized purse that turns on the seat belt sign to beging with…hmmmm??? I say flaunt those snazzy jammies. You are a married woman in a happy marriage – no shame in that!
It seems to me that every wise woman has SJs for special occasions. They had to buy them somewhere, right?
I kind of prefer shopping for personal items in department stores where they have registers stategically placed so that you can go ahead and pay right there in the SJ department.
But for other stores, I say look the clerk right in the eye and smile. Let her (I’m assuming you picked a line with the female checker, no matter how much longer the line) mull that over in her spare time.
Whenever i have to purchase Snazzy Jammies, or other various and sundry snazzy items whose names and purposes do not belong in a family-friendly blog, I amuse myself as I walk through the store by thinking of what random things I could put in my cart with my snazzy items to make the cashier REALLY WONDER. Feathers? Whipped cream? Glitter mod podge? 6XL men’s whitie tighties? The possibilities are endless . . . Bahahahahaha
Whenever I buy something of the snazzy nature, I pick the teenage boy as my cashier…then at least someone is more embarrassed than me.
Love these comments…so funny! Good for you for keeping the “snazzy” in your marriage, with three young children that can be a challenge.
This made me laugh so hard!!! 🙂
Amazingly I got so many SJ when I got married that I I am still going through them, unfortunately two kids later they don’t fit like they used to. 🙂
I love what pokeyann said, probably not daring enough to do it but it made me laugh a lot.
Snazzy Jammies…love that new term! By the way, your post reminded me of this one:
http://shaungroves.com/2009/02/it-happened-right-there/
I like to buy snazzy jammies at the specific sj-store in the mall. However, some of these stores have now started hiring MALE SECURITY GUARDS to hover around the entrance/exits. I guess too many snazzy undergarments are walking out the door? I really do not like men watching what I am picking up and trying/buying. It kind of ruins my fun.
What are these jammies you speak of? I have not seen them in quite some time! 😉 Great post!
The whole post was great, and I do love some Snazzy Jammies myself, but the best part was the mom-purse setting off the fasten-seat-belt alert! Oh that made me laugh so hard!
If you are a Mom with a Mom purse and STILL choose to wear Snazzy Jammies then be proud that your Hubs has a wife who still enjoys Snazzy Jammies EVENTHOUGH she has given birth. I recently treated myself to some Snazzy Jammies in a size bigger than I wish I wore but I decided I still deserved to have them- fat or not.
I agree with your whole “where I buy snazzy jammies” philosophy. I haven’t bought any since we started having babies though! I guess I’m kinda boring that way and tend to just opt for the “birthday suit.” At least then I don’t have to deal with the whole checkout line experience.