Personal Blog of Author Kathryn Thompson
I’ve been faking it for a while. I was still faking it when I wrote my post for Parenting this week but as of yesterday the bug has bitten me and I’m starting to feel it.
“It’s oddly comforting. I don’t have to feel like supermom all the time. Sometimes I can just put on the cape and shlump around in it until it fits again.”
Click to read more at Parenting.com
Sometimes I think I AM this conversation. I’ve watched this sketch about 300 times and I think it’s time I shared it. There is very little in this world that’s funnier to me than this:
How many children should we have?
Is the time right?
Am I healthy enough?
Was that a miscarriage?
Do I want to go through all that again?
I was recently talking with Eve’s kids when the 3-year-old asked me why I didn’t have a baby at my house. “We have a baby. Where’s your baby? Why don’t you have a baby?”
“Well,” patting my mid-section, “I’m just saving space here in case Heavenly Father wants to put one in there.”
Then the second grade son chimed in with a look on his face that seemed to say, “I really like you so Iiiii’m gonna help you get on the clue bus.”
“All you need to do is get some SPERM.”
“Thanks. I’ll look into that.”
Doh! The SPERM! The missing link. So next time I’m in Rite Aid, I’ll see what they have in stock.
***And the PeaceLoveMom shirt goes to Michelle, commenter number 29 (with double commenters removed). Don’t forget to use your free shipping code everyone else if you order from them before December 17th. The code is DYMGIVES.***
Sometime this month I will become old. Older than I’m comfortable with. I really didn’t think turning 30 would be any big thing. Most of my friends are over 30. Dan turned thirty MONTHS ago and I still find myself liking him a great deal. But for some reason as my birthday month crested, I became awash with apprehension about leaving my twenties.
Just last weekend I found myself trying to convince one of my kids’ babysitters that I wasn’t much older than she was. Sad. I am that much older than she is. Text messaging, although useful and fun, is not the fountain of eternal youth.
I didn’t write up one of those “Thirty Things To Do Before Thirty” lists because I figure I’ve already done way more than thirty things in my lifetime so I’ve got it covered.
What I would like is some advice or words of wisdom from Ye of Teh Interweb, young and old, to help me get over this silly fear of the number three and the number zero put together in a certain order when applied to my particular agedness.
What do old people wear?
How should I start fixing my hair? Should I start fixing my hair?
What stores do old people frequent?
How do I get rid of the grey? Should I even bother to get rid of the grey?
When will the wrinkles overtake the adult acne in the battle for my face?
Knee highs?
How should I best console myself on that day of days?
Any advice you have will be helpful. As an incentive to get you commenting and helping me out of a pathetic, non-fly, non-Oprah-approved 30s decade (Didn’t she say 30 was the new 15 or something like that?), I’m giving away a cool shirt from PeaceLoveMom.
I love their stuff and although it definitely could be worn by a woman of my… ahem… maturity, I think I could also wear it and blend in well with the young people. If you haven’t seen their stuff, go check it out. They sent me this awesome thermal to try out for Thanksgiving and they’ll give one of you a free t-shirt just for leaving a comment here. After I choose a winner, they’ll contact you with a few choices from their site in your size and they have all sizes.
Their shirts are soft, long, cute and well made. You’ll love them. I see they’ve also come out with a cute line of stationary. If you want to order something, you can use the coupon code DYMGIVES through December 17th for free shipping within the US.
I’ll pick a winner Thursday night so spill your guts. What do I do now that I’m OLD?
We stayed home for Thanksgiving this year and somehow lured most of Dan’s family up from Utah for a visit. It was a lot of fun. We went shopping, ate until we nearly ruptured, went and saw that one movie and played games, lots of games.
As I was playing with Dan’s sister, KayLynn, I started to notice things and I didn’t need google to tell me that something wasn’t right. We were playing a speed card game that she’d never tried before and she was clobbering everyone. She was impossibly fast and strong. Her bowl of ice cream was pale white and ice cold.
So I shot her a dirty look.
“Say it,” she taunted me.
I gave her the look again.
“Say it out loud.”
“Card shark,” I whispered, shivering.
She asked me if I was afraid. I said I was only afraid of losing to her. And I did. Badly.
This spider monkey will think twice before she teaches that masochistic lion any new card games. I mean. As if I could outrun her at Canasta. As if I could fight her off with her mad shuffling and dealing skills.
I’m honestly not sure if she’s the hero or the bad guy but when her face sparkles in the sunlight, she is beautiful.
I know, right?
And the winner is Liz, commenter number 173 who was lovin’ on the Winthrop boots.
For the rest of you, you can buy to your heart’s content at the Keen store with free shipping when you use the code DARINGMOM through December 18th.
Happy shopping and look for more giveaways soon. Like maybe later today.