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Personal Blog of Author Kathryn Thompson

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Archives for May 2008

Wicked

May 30, 2008 by Kathryn

My next door neighbor spent a boat load of time today researching alternative treatments for hearing loss and we’re going to explore our options a bit this summer before kindergarten begins. I’ll keep you all posted. Thank you so much for all of your kind comments and suggestions today. I needed to have a little pity party and it was so nice of you to attend.

I didn’t buy Laylee the $300 dollhouse I thought she needed so desperately yesterday but I have been extra nice to her. I didn’t act at all like the wicked stepmother today… very much. [read more at Parenting.com]

Filed Under: Parenting

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

May 29, 2008 by Kathryn

You can get hearing aids with zebra stripes these days or leopard print. Laylee’s got her heart set on a dainty set with pink flowers. They’re small like her ears and hopefully won’t fall out when she’s running around the back yard or playing tag at school.

sweet-girlI told her they’re like glasses for her ears, that even though she can hear fine now, she’ll have SUPER-HERO ear power when she gets her new ear jewelry. I told her she was lucky to get them. I didn’t tell her it was no big deal because telling her that implies that her hearing loss might be a big deal and I never want her to think that. But it’s sure a big deal to me in this moment.

This morning I drove her to a hearing and speech clinic to have her ears checked. We’ve noticed some problems and the more I’ve looked the more problems I’ve noticed. I tried to tell myself I was imagining things. It took some coaxing from my next door neighbor before I took her in to get tested.

Her preschool report card listed her as advanced in nearly every way. The only areas where she was “satisfactory” were things like “needs repeated teacher directions,” “displays listening skills” and “easily distracted,” things that could be easily explained if she were having trouble hearing. I can stand behind her and talk about ice cream in a loud whisper and she has no idea I’m saying anything. When I call to her from a distance, it seems like she’s ignoring me.

The doctor put a camera in her ears and projected the image on a large monitor. Aside from a stray “ear whack” or two, they looked lovely. He said there was no damage from the gazillion ear infections she’s had. Good news.

Then into the booth we went. The doctor said I could stay with her if Magoo and I could stay quiet. Ahem. Yeah. So we stayed in the booth for a few… seconds before he came back in. For some reason Magoo’s constant seemingly-involuntary whispers ruined the effect of the sound-proof booth and we were kindly asked to leave. Laylee was nervous to be alone but she hung in like a trooper while we waited in the lobby for some news. Magoo asked me to read star dating news to him from an old People Magazine. Before we even found out if John-ifer would live happily ever after, the doctor came back and took us into an exam room.

He was sweet and had a good bedside manner but he also spends all day doing this and seemed very casual about the news he delivered. She has some hearing loss which makes it impossible to hear certain frequencies at certain volumes. What she’s missing are consonants so what she hears when someone talks softly or from far away is a jumble of vowels that mean nothing to her.

“Is it something she’ll outgrow?”

“Oh no. It’s permanent…. [something about hearing aids.]”

“Was it caused by her ear infections?”

“No… [something about nerves being dead and a special microphone her teacher will need to use when she starts kindergarten next year.]”

“Um…”

“With these diagnoses, we always recommend a second opinion so you can schedule that at the same time as your hearing aid consultation.”

Because I am the best mom in the world, I was able to freeze my face into a grin to avoid squeezing anything near the eye area, which would likely have let forth the blast of weepage building in my throat. I stayed cool and Laylee was unaffected by the news, possibly because she did not hear the news.

So the new hearing aids do look cool… for hearing aids… but I’m conflicted. They’re not really like glasses, not completely. You do not see kids all over with hearing aids the way you do with glasses. I want to ask the doctor if Laylee has to wear them all the time and I picture him responding, “Um… only when she wants to hear well.” Even wanting to ask that question makes me feel like a bad mom, too concerned with appearances like the mean aunt on Anne of Avonlea who never lets her niece wear those “ridiculous spectacles” even though she’s practically blind without them.

Of course I want her to hear well but I don’t want her to feel self-conscious. It will shred my heart if I have to watch her confidence wither, to realize there’s something different about her and start to think it’s a bad thing. I will not allow it.

I have so many questions I was too shocked to think to ask until after I left the office. Is it degenerative? Will she continue to lose hearing? Are there any other options for treatment? What COULD have caused this if it wasn’t the ear infections? All afternoon my brain has conjured up images of loud concerts we’ve attended, fireworks displays, times she put on my head phones with the sound turned all the way up. How could I have protected her better?

I keep thinking of times I scolded her for not paying attention or coming when I called her. I want to squeeze her and never let go, to buy her ridiculous things we don’t have the money for that wouldn’t help anything. I feel guilty for joking around in this post, a post which seems cruel and in horribly poor taste at this point.

But at least the doctor seems to think I’m a good mom. He said he was impressed that we were paying close enough attention to catch it. This type of hearing loss can often be misunderstood as a lack of attention or inability to listen to instructions.

I really am glad we did and that we can help Laylee to be more successful. I’m grateful that we have the means and the technology to help fix what’s broken. I just always wish my children would have perfect lives or at least that I could choose their trials. Maybe Magoo could have a mean friend in 2nd grade who taunts him for a couple of weeks to teach him humility and then moves to Siberia so Magoo can get on with his life. For Laylee I might wish bad hair or an inability to learn the Cha-Cha well enough to compete on an international level.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

He Sees Dead People

May 28, 2008 by Kathryn

Lately Magoo bawls his brains out every night because he’s scared of the lamp-shadow-turned-ghost that hangs out in his room on the wall directly behind the lamp. And this is sad because he needs his brains. They are small and developing and if he bawls many more of them out, he’ll be in bad trouble. He really is a simple little melon-head that one. From my limited experience, he’s quite intelligent for a 3-year-old but that really ain’t sayin’ much. He’s a little vague and requires an incredible amount of “reminding” to accomplish things like walking in a straight line to the dinner table.

When Magoo cries about the ghosts in his room, he says, “Mom! I’m Scary!”

I try not to laugh because in his current phase of life he IS a little scary. He’s mostly a-freaking-dorable but partially a bit scary.

Tonight when Dan told me that Magoo had cried at bedtime about the ghost, I asked him if he thinks Magoo’s actually seeing dead people.

He does not.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Idyllic and Over

May 27, 2008 by Kathryn

I want to write about our mind-popping trip to Disneyland, really I do. Much to share, there is. But now I’m back and there’s life and I’d rather write about what we’re doing now but I feel pressure to blog the big D so instead I blog nothing. And that’s just wrong.

Today was as near perfect as a day can be… in my world… with the life I have… with these children I own. Dan and I sat down this weekend and listed out a bunch of goals. We basically wrote down the things we would be doing in our ideal life and chose several of them to focus on for a whole month. They include things like consistent bed and wake up times, scheduled family dinner, exercise, meaningful prayer and scripture study and more dateage and schmoopage.

So for two days we’ve stuck to our plans and despite a plague that’s ravaging Dan’s delicate software-engineering body, we feel great. I’ve had healthy attractive dinner on the table at the same time for two nights in a ROW! I even used several of the herbs and vegetables disguised as weeds that I received from my CSA in tonight’s dinner.

I’ve been excited to support local agriculture and broaden my horizons but a little afraid of the bag of early spring greens I’ve been getting each week. I thought I had a wide veggie repertoire but it did not include chervil, lovage (Dan says he’s a big fan of my “lovage”), lemon verbena, nasturtium, new varieties of kale complete with little yellow flowers, leeks, silver thyme, mountains of rhubarb. Don’t get me wrong, I can make a super-rad rhubarb pie or crumble, especially if organic strawberries are on sale, but there’s still the question of what to do with the other 10 lbs. Suggestions?
veggies
Tonight I made a salad from the lettuce mix in this week’s bag, chopped chervil, verbena, sorrel (looks like spinach, tastes like lemons), mushrooms and yellow tomatoes. To this I added salmon marinated in olive oil, soy sauce, fresh oregano, chives, verbena and lovage with brown rice and steamed carrots. It was delicious and 3 weeks into the CSA I’m finally getting more comfortable experimenting with all these new foods.

This weekend I made an omelet with sauteed lovage stalk and sun-dried tomatoes and garlic in red pepper oil because I happened to have those things from the farm and they were yummers. Who knew?

I woke up before the kids this morning and read scriptures while I waited for them to pounce. Then we had oatmeal and fresh cantaloupe for breakfast. We read several stories and then walked to the park to meet some friends. Magoo rode his new scooter and when we passed a jogger, he jumped off, lifted it in the air towards her and shouted, “I GOT A SCOOTER!”

“Wow. I can see that.”

“And it’s BLUE and I saw a BUG!”

“Really? A bug?”

“Yessir!” he called to the nice lady.

And we walked another 3 feet until he saw ANOTHER BUG!! The bugs were plentiful and we paid our respects to each and every one. No one was maimed or park-napped. Everyone waited for mom before crossing the busy roads. No one even asked me to push them on the swings! When it was time to leave, I told them we had to go and they CAME WITH ME, no questions asked.

We went to Target and Costco where we got decent, if not super-hero-worthy, parking spots. I stayed close to budget. There were free Haagen Dazs ice cream bar bits at one of the sample tables.

After coming home, we headed to the farmer’s market where we bought tomatoes, more herb starts and a loaf of fresh-baked apple cinnamon bread.

My neighbors came over to play.

The sun shone.

My kitchen remained clean.

My new washer was shiny and it washed things.

I weeded my garden and no mosquitoes bit me.

The Bambi deer stopped by and left my garden untouched in their beneficence.
bambi

Dan asked me if I might like to watch Corner Gas later even though he’s not orignally from my motherland.

We had healthy dinner in which the children ate green things without much coercion.

There was no TV and no video games today and no requests for them.

My dining room floor smells like peppermint.

Today is the opposite of that one other day.

Filed Under: Aspirations, Poser in Granolaville

Getaway Giveaway

May 27, 2008 by Kathryn

Because we like you and we think you work too hard, SeattleMomBlogs.com is offering another great giveaway. Go over and enter to win a 2 night stay at a cottage in Seabrook, 2.5 hours from Seattle. You know you want to grab your flip flops and head out there. Here’s your chance to do it for free!

Filed Under: Holidays

Hours of Fun

May 26, 2008 by Kathryn

Come let us gather round the lovely new clothes washing machine.
new-washer

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Violence and Disneyland

May 23, 2008 by Kathryn

We just got back from a fabulous Disneyland vacation. Magoo didn’t vomit all over the hotel room and Laylee didn’t get a 103 degree fever and wake me up every 20 minutes all night long.

I did break one of my strictest parenting rules and buy Magoo a piece. How do you deal with violent toys at your house?

Filed Under: Parenting, vacation

Praise

May 16, 2008 by Kathryn

I’m too dependent on praise. I want someone to pat me on the head and say “Good girl!” I want to feel that people like me and that they think I’m doing a good job. [Read More at Parenting]

Filed Under: Parenting, Save Me From Myself

Betcher Bottom Dollar That Today…

May 15, 2008 by Kathryn

bottom-dollar

Filed Under: weather

SUN!!!

May 14, 2008 by Kathryn

Thank you all for your comfort, ideas and cyber hugs yesterday. It’s amazing what good a little time, sleep, perspective and chocolate chip cookie dough will do. I got a recommendation from my doctor for another naturopath she trusts and I’ll just cross my fingers, prepare to delve into the details of my personal and medical history and try again.

I’m worried about Laylee’s hearing, even more so because in the past couple of months she’s become obsessed with sign language. I thought it was really cute until yesterday when the initial hearing tests showed a problem. My mind is prone to spiral out of control with “what ifs”.

What if she loves sign language so much because she’s in the beginning stages of a profound degenerative hearing loss?

I loved sign language as a teenager and always had a feeling it was because I’d someday have a deaf child? What if Laylee’s becoming that child?

What if I never lose the baby weight from Magoo?

What if American Idol ends up in a tie between the two Davids?

I could go on like this forever. I am truly much more calm today and much more in touch with reality. It just seems like the more things that go wrong, the more things seem wrong and you start to notice problems where they don’t exist.

But truly this bad weather does exist. It has existed for far too long, even for Seattle. I’m starting to think that this global warming stuff is all a lie and that living more green is plunging my family into the depths of eternal drizzleish winter.

I’m seriously tempted to turn on every light and appliance in the house, go through the McDonald’s drivethrough in a Hummer, kill a few slugs and spiders with acid, slather my arms with paraben-full lotion, hire a few slave children to help me flush a couple hundred rolls of bleached toilet paper made from ancient Amazon rainforests down my high flow toilet, feed chili beans to some cows and dump a chemistry set over the fields of my nearest organic hemp farm.

If green stops the warming, then I’m gonna live black or red or whatever’s the opposite of green for a while. OH SUN, WHERE ART THOU!!???

**Megan, Jenny, All Adither, Isabel, and Renae have all promised me sun tomorrow. If it rains, I’m burning their blogs to the ground and dancing amidst the flames.**

Filed Under: Poser in Granolaville, Save Me From Myself

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