We have a problem.
We have a van.
The van has no name. Okay, the van has a name. Right now we are calling it the Mighty Muffin. This name is unsatisfactory.
This week I would like tips on what to name the van. The person who chooses the winning name for the Muffin will receive, fame, glory, a web banner similar to the one seen on the right, and all their wildest dreams will come true.
Some hints to help you come up with a good name, a winning name, a name the Daring Family will adopt as their own:
1. Past Daring vehicle names –
Howie (inspired by Howie of the Backstreet Boys, determined to be chic but gutless)
As a random sidenote, I will republish a poem written by a 13-year-old girl in a teen magazine, dedicated to the aforementioned boy band member. This poem has been recited many many times in the most serious tone imaginable while driving that vehicle:
Howie, Howie, he’s our man
If he can’t do it, no one can
Howie, Howie, he’s our man
If he can’t do it, no one can
Howie, Howie, he’s our man
If he can’t do it, who can?
Nobody, nobody, nobody, that’s who.
Howie, I love you.
2. Van Facts – The Muffin is a gold 2000’s Toyota Sienna LE with dual sliding doors (one power), a decent stereo system, and tan interior. It’s a sweet ride with a powerful engine that drives like a car but turns like a bus. I am the primary driver, with Laylee and Magoo as first mate and chief petty officer. The van is currently gender-neutral.
3. Family facts – We travel consistently at 4 miles over the speed limit. We plan to fill the van with small people eventually. We like boats, mountains, jazz music, the color puce and wireless internet. We live in the Northwest where it rains all the time. We eat spaghetti at least once per month. Our KitchenAid is red and our garage is gigantic. We bake foods that are meant to be fried. We speak Chinese, French, English, and Pig-Latin.
Good luck coming up with names. The contest will remain open until midnight Pacific Standard Time on Monday, January 9th. (If this goes well, maybe we’ll name our next child this way.)
This contest is open to all legal residents of planet earth, regardless of hair color, favorite vegetable or preferred boy band. No purchase necessary. No limitations or exclusions apply. Must be 5 or older to play or have parental consent. Void where prohibited. Multiple entries are encouraged.
As in, “in the sky with diamonds”.
Because they you would have a smokin’ theme song.
My vote is for Ichivan.
Kind of a variation on Ichiban which means #1 in Japanese.
Not Too Pensive says
Hmm… it’s gold…
“The Golden Ticket”? Given the amount of candy that will be consumed by the occupants and their generally small stature, this may be most appropriate.
“Toddler Tanker” – Ya never know…
Too late to think of anything else at the moment… I just let my wife name our awesome and always beat-up station wagon 😉
dad on a wire says
Our KitchenAid is white, and can kick your KitchenAid’s grating attachment! White KitchenAids of the world unite! By the way, this is on my wish list.
um, excuse me, DOAW, MY kitchen aid is white and has a sausage attachment that can kick anyone’s ass.
where were we talking about?
the van which should be named
SPARKY of course.
are we registering our wish lists too?
Regina Clare Jane says
Hmm… I always think vehicles are girls, so I would start out with a girlie name… and to be polite, I use Miss or Ms. Don’t want to get my van mad at me. I have a white Dodge caravan Sport Van- she’s a real cutie!
OK- how about something like Miss Shirley Van de Haulin’? (I always liked the name Shirley- it’s a funy name!)
Hey, this is just my first try! Give the chance a kid! 🙂
I think you need something with the name “Rocket” in the title.
Okay, that was totally annoying.
That last “anonymous” comment was mine, but it wouldn’t let me post as anything but anonymous.
(the Princess Mom)
I think you should name the van Kong, as in King Kong… or in keeping with Ginger’s idea… Van Helsing. 🙂 Then it could kick vampire booty.
And P.S. I love this post.
the name “Murphy” came to mind though I have NO CLUE why. It just spoke to me. You could even nickname the van’s nickname by calling him “Murph”. I also like Blackbird’s idea of “Sparky”. Seems fitting for such a lively, spunky, creative group of people.
Ginger, love your name suggestion (maybe it’s just the art major in me talking)!
But I would have to take it a step further (you know, go for the “gold”, and all that). My name suggestion would be… Vincent van Gold
Note to DYM: I would be more than willing to share fame, glory and web banner with Ginger were my (not-totally-originally-arrived-at) name to be chosen winner. And thanks for the van advice. We’re now the proud drivers of a 2000-something Toyota Sienna too (ours is silver, although that’s not to say it could kick your van’s transmission or anything 🙂 Good luck with the van naming!
I have always liked the name Jean-Claude for a van. That way he could be the the Jean Cleaude Van. Then when he some day malfunctions it leads to easy and slightly veiled cursing. as in DAMN!! THE JEAN_CLEAUDE VAN DAMN!!THE JEAN_CLEAUDE VAN DAMN!!THE JEAN_CLEAUDE VAN DAMN!!THE JEAN_CLEAUDE VAN DAMN!!
Okay, this is the first thing that popped into my head–Golda MyVan. After Golda Meir, the only female Prime Minister of Israel and the only American citizen to hold that position. See, a name for the van and a little history lesson for the kiddies!
tag you’re it, see my blog……….
Man, you are all brilliant. I can’t add to any of that. So I will just type and cheer for all of you to keep pumping those names out.
How about Van Halen?
Kathryn, do you really speak Chinese????
I like Goldie.
I’m just going to have to go with Bob.
Okay, here are a few really bad suggestions (the only kind I make):
vandemonium (that might be a little too dark if you look closely)
I have never named my car, I do refer to it as a her though. If I named it, I don’t think I would be able to get rid of it. Kind of like when the kids named the stray cat and then it was ours.
Good luck with the name, I have seen a lot of good suggestions.
Not Too Pensive says
Cars are women.
When they’re moody, ultra sensitive to heat and cold, demanding of care, expensive, and generally problematic, there can be no doubt that they’re women.
However, cars are also more likely to be reliable, there when you need them, safe (perhaps too cautious), reasonable (well, my car is for the moment – high MPG), get you through the hard times, and stick with you to the point it’s hard to even think about letting them go.
So, yeah, cars are like women. Sometimes they’re a royal pain in the neck, but most of the time you’re really glad they’re around.
*written by a man looking for brownie points*
Henrietta Sugarcookie… and that’s just cuz it’s a great name.
Well………….if the van saps your money like some vehicle payments do, my vote is to name it “Miss Piggy.” Piggy, like it eats all of the money, it eats a lot of gas, etc. etc.
We are in the process of buying a gold toyota Sienna minivan too. Maybe I can pick over your leftovers and find a name for her too. Love your blog BTW.
Queen Beth says
Well, since you want to fill it with little ones….this reminds me of the Woman in the Shoe…so maybe “la chaussure”. Or maybe “boÃ®te Ã chaussures” the shoebox? You could call her (All cars are “hers”) Chaussy?
On 2nd and 3rd thought, I like Ginger’s suggestion of Van Gogh better than my own suggestion.
i have never named a vehicle before, and cannot think of any good ones at all. from those suggested, i like van gogh the best.
Barb Szyszkiewicz, sfo says
I must stick with the “Daring” motif and suggest:
“Double Dog Dare”
Any viewers of “A Christmas Story” will know why…LOL!
How about ad-van-tage for the Dr. Jekyll moments and van-dals for those moments when we enjoy turning into regular Mr Hyde’s.
Btw, I love your blog.
I just thought of another. The crocodile hunter calls all the female croc’s Fiesty Sheila’s.
We always joke about that. It sounds so funny, especially with the accent … Fiesty Sheila. ha ha ha
You could name it Biff, or Sriganesh. 🙂 More suggestions. 🙂
Van Go would also work, and could be used as a mantra on the days when she doesn’t want to. “Van, go!” My hands-down favorite name for a car that you hope to remain close friends with, though, is Kiki. How can a van named Kiki let you down?
I have to say I like Van Gough the best and I cannot top that. I have a Red Rav 4 and my 7 year old yorkie can say ‘Red Rav’ It’s soooo cute.
I am somewhat ashamed to admit that my favorite, as in, “the one that made me weep with laughter and embarrass myself in front of my coworker by so doing” is Jean-Claude Van. Mostly because of the swearing potential.
Goldie Van Der Van?
See? I’m still thinking.
“Marvin the movin’Mormon Van”
Yes, I agree that Jean Claude Van with Damn swearing potential is too good to pass up. It reminds me of a girlfriend I had in highschool. She got married to a guy none of us knew, and we coudn’t remember his last name, which was Oberhelman. She (a nice, Catholic girl) said, “Here’s how I remember it. Think of two guys in the freezing cold. One says, ‘Oh, brrrr…” and the other says, “Hell, man.” I’ve never forgotten her married name!!! 🙂
4 miles over huh?
the Rocket sled?!!
How about The Diva? You could even get creative and spell it with a “Y”, thus creating an acronym of sorts, like “The Daring Young Van is Awesome.” I figure with the stereo system and the bulk and being gold it fits.
Or you could go with the MidasMobile and look like you’ve got some sort of endorsement deal going on, when really you’re just making a literary reference.
Or, my personal favorite, reference another type of…um…culture, and call it The Yellow Dart. It’s kind of close to gold. It’s closer than our blue station wagon, at any rate, which would have been the Yellow Dart except she ended up being Sonya instead.
Wow, 40 comments…Kathryn, you rock!
How about Quick Nick.
I am willing to compose a poem that could be recited while driving.
Nantie Meg says
Well, I drive a Honda Civic, she is definitely a girl, but her name is roy. I know that when you and DY dad rented the subaru this summer, you really liked talking about the Sube.
Why not name her “the sube”?
PS-What is laylee’s opinion?
First can I just say that I love your blog. Have you ever seen Lord of the Beans? It is a “classic” Veggie Tale drama and about as close to drama or anything classic as I can get with three kids. How about naming your car the “Flying Flobbit.” Flobbits are a little like Hobbits. Good luck on your quest for the perfect name.:) I love all the other suggestions.
P.S. I also love your sis. She is an awesome lady.
That’s the best one! You’re totally going to name your van “Low Fat Cooking” right?
House Warden says
Well I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and unfortunately I’m not all that creative. We just bought a brand new mini-van (I’m remain from brand dropping, so I don’t show favortism) in April and the hubby and I haven’t even discussed about naming it, although his car he had names. You seem to be very divers people. So I know it’s not great, but how about Cultured Cruiser. Good luck with the choices. BTW you seem very popular. I’m new to blogging and wish I would get as many responses as you do? How do you do it? I got your blog from my dear old high school buddy from the good old NW Princess Mom.
Whenever I think of naming anything, I think of your little sister (2 1/2 at the time) walking around the house chanting, “I want to name the puppy Ralph. I want to name the puppy Ralph……..” We never did name a puppy Ralph, but it’s still a great all purpose name if you’re stuck.
How about going with an acronym. Something like LAMAR.
Of course, this could be difficult when additional offspring are added to the mix.
So my 2nd pick would have to be Sputnik. Just sounds like a cool car name to me.
Someone suggested Vanna. Did you know that Vanna MEANS “golden” in Cambodian? Of course you did!
I too love to make spreadsheets to aid in decision making! And because you can never have enough data on a spreadsheet, I’ll give you another name to mull over in addition to my previous suggestion…
…This one would only work if the Daring Young Family speaks “Seinfeld”-ese in addition to Chinese and Pig-Latin. Roughly translated from the original Seinfeld-ese, “Vandelay” means a catch-all; a problem solver. Sounds sort of like a minivan, no?
Hm. Not so much of an exporter/importer as a transporter, though. It works.
Hello dear friend! Well, naming inanimate objects is one of my favorite things of all time! So here it goes: Mortimer the Minivan (you could call him Morty for short), Vantasy, Frank (a classic), Skiffington (or Skiff for short)…hmm, I’ll continue pondering. Good luck w/ the decision-making! These are all great names!
Okey dokey. Vanessa. Surcie, I like it, too. Simple. Refined, in a slightly sofisticated way. So sorry to all the Vanessa’a out there. You have a great name. Which reminds me, I let the kids name our golden retriever. I thought they’d name her some great creative name…but no. Sandy. Plain Old Sandy. But the worst of that is that we had a neighbor girl friend named Sandy, who turned out to be the veterinary assistant where we take our dog! When she asked what the dogs’ name was, to my embarrassment, I had to say “Sandybutthekidsnamedher, itwasn’tmyfault!” She smiled and said that half the dogs out there are named Sandy–and that, btw, is my second choice! Sandy! It’s the right color, will have lots of sand if you fill it up with kids (and neighbor kids, you live on the coast, for goodness sake!) And sorry to KayLynn’s lovely roomate, Vanessa, if you happen to like that one!You could always say…so sorry, “myvansmademedoit!”
Petunia is also good. 🙂