Yesterday Dan was microwaving his lunch at work when a woman walked past him into the lunch room, removed his food halfway through its heating cycle and started nuking hers. He was so dumbfounded by this that he just waited for her to finish. When she was done, she left his food on the top of the microwave and walked out without a word.
Sometimes people are just oblivious. I like to imagine that she knew he was there microwaving his food and just felt that her needs were somehow more important, a lunchroom bully, waiting in the hallway for her next victim to begin reheating his leftovers. In reality, she was probably spaced out and didn’t even realize what she was doing.
A few years ago Dan and I had dinner guests who we didn’t know very well. I made some Indian food, a complicated dish requiring a ton of onions. I have zero tolerance for onions and sob like a child every time I come in contact with them.
Some time after the guests had left I walked past a mirror and noticed several inches of black mascara circles running down my face. “DAN! Why didn’t you TELL me I looked like a crazed clown the entire evening?” He had no idea what I was talking about. He came over. “Oh yeah. You do have a little something there.” It’s not that he’s a moron. He’s actually quite a genius. He’s just so used to seeing me a certain way (fabulous goddess of beauty) that he has a hard time noticing when something changes a wee bit.
Which brings me to the pigs feet. A couple of weeks ago I was grocery shopping as I am sometimes wont to do. In between the bottled artichokes (I was making a new dip recipe from Chilihead) and Vienna Sausages (I was keeping my distance) I found a “value pack” of pigs feet. I laughed out loud in the store and placed them in my cart.
Since I’m trying to lose weight and can’t eat all the food I’d like without feeling guilty, I’d rather just buy groceries that make me giggle.
I got them home and placed them in the food cupboard at eye level to see how long it would take Dan to notice them. 52 hours. It takes Dan 52 hours to notice a jar of pigs feet next to the niblets. But I couldn’t stop there. This is too fun.
I decided I would send the feet to anyone willing to play this little game with me. Then Mir started rambling on about liquid/ fragile/ perishable blah blah blah and I rethought my strategy.
It works like this. Go to the store. Buy a bottle of pigs feet (they cost around $4). Put them in an obvious place in a cupboard your spouse will open at least once a week. Email me a picture of the feet but don’t blog it so s/he won’t know what you’re doing. I’ll put a link to your blog on my sidebar with a counter of how long the pigs feet have been sitting there. Fun, yes? Just say yes, okay? I’ll enjoy it because I’m twisted like that.
Someone told me in an email today that I was a “solid example of motherhood” on my blog. Of course I know this is true and never more true than in my Parenting post today. Feel free to go over there and be enriched by my greatness.
Okay, I am so going to do this the next time I get to the commissary! I am sure my husband will say something like, “What the….,” well you get my drift!
As for that lady, I don’t think there is anyway she could have not known what she was doing. RUDE, RUDE, RUDE!
I’m on board! NOw you go read my post and join in with me latest crazy idea! xoxo
I know you’ll love just it!
this post made my day. Still laughing…
I’ll do it!
Oh HILARIOUS. If I can find them, I will do this. But be forewarned, I will win the contest. My husband is so oblivious that he will wash and dry our dishes, but not put them away because he swears he doesn’t know where they go. We have glass-fronted cabinets, so it’s not all that much of a challenge.
See, and I would bet that keeping pigs feet in the pantry might actually help the diet, because after seeing them, your appetite probably diminishes a little bit. I think you may be on to something you can call multi-purpose…how to lose weight and have fun, too!
But what if he eats them?!
Growing up, my sister and I sometimes did the grocery shopping. Every so often one of us would put a cow’s tongue in the basket to see how long it would take until it got noticed. It was SO satisfying to hear, “EWWWWWW!” from a few aisles away.
Lisa (qtpies7) says
Ok, that would be hysterical! My husband would take some time to notice it on his own, but my dd15 would notice it within hours and she’d freak all over the place, and then, my husband would eat them. Just to freak her out more. And my boys, with one exception, would try them, too, and say they aren’t that bad, and freak her out all the way. Then they’d try to get her to eat them. Well, you get the picture, lol. I think I’m in on this one. As soon as I can get out to the store.
Lisa (qtpies7) says
Oh, heidi made me remember a great spiritual lesson we taught the kids using a cow tongue! Man, I’m going to have to go blog that!
That’s awesome. Do we get a prize if he actually eats them without coercion?
Sorry, I am going to win. Hands down. I’m married to a mathematician who could not find his pants if he was wearing them.
Big Mama says
I may seriously do this if I can stomach the pigs feet in my cabinets. I guarantee that unless I put them in my husband’s gun safe, he will not notice them until sometime late in the year 2012.
I am totally going to do this. Thanks for the idea. My husband is constantly not noticing things I’ve bought.
I think I will buy a jar of pigs feet and find a random friend’s house to put it in and see how long it takes. LOL!!!!
Awww HECK yeah! I’m going out of town for the weekend, but expect a pic some time next week! I suspect, however, that since Dadguy does alot of his own cooking, it won’t take him nearly 52 hours. I could be spectacularly wrong, however.
I am laughing at this, but as I had to eat these once on my mission, I’ll pass on having them in my cupboard-even though I’m sure waiting to see how long it took DH to notice would be entertaining.
sarah hart kingston says
I am so gonna do this. After I kill you for signing me up for a triathlon. But if you want some good step workouts, check out The Firm. I have one of the sets with their special step and I love it. It burns. Am I off topic?
Mama T. says
It all depends on where I place the Pig’s feet in the pantry. I’m thinking anywhere other than in front of the Fruity Cheerios will get me at least 40 days of laughter.
I’m making a trip to the store tomorrow (Tuesday) morning and I’ll see if I can find a jar.
Lani from The Wooden Porch says
Oh, I am SO IN! I’m totally getting my girlfriend, April Showers, involved too. My husband will find it in 28 seconds flat. Her husband won’t find it for at least 4 years.
How do you come up with these things??
I grew up eating pickled pigs feet at my grandparents’ house. (My grandpa was from Sweden, which I think is the reason for this.) I liked them. We also ate pickled herring.
I absolutely must do this. Buying some pigs feet tonight. Too fun.
Your husbands actually notice what is in your pantry???? I doubt mine has looked there in the past…say… 6 months?
I’d have to..like..put them on the counter by the telephone, before he’d ever notice in a few days. Or better yet… on top of his shaving kit. He might notice that sometime.
The tale of “How My Feet Were Discovered” is up at my blog…
I found you via Bon’s blog. This is too funny. I am also living with someone who never notices anything. It has its advantages and disadvantages, just like anything else in life. It annoys me, though, that two hours into a concert, the woman behind me breathes an exasperated: ‘Excuse me!” into my ear and tucks in the tag of my dress. Asking Steve whether he didn’t notice, his answer is something like “Yeah, but I didn’t think anything about it.” Same goes for mascara smears, inside-out T-shirts and food between teeth. To understand where he comes from, one needs to know that he finds it annoying if I point out boogers in his nose. So, you understand, I just HAVE to do the pig feet thing. Unfortunately, I dropped our camera yesterday and now it is very kaputt. So, no picture for the time being. But I’ll keep you posted on the result. This actually might turn into a test for male sensitivity or something like that, which means this is a scientific experiment. That means, in my humble opinion, that the pigs feet should be tax-deductible. Have to put them on my grocery list for tomorrow!
I was looking for recipes for pickled pig’s feet….when I came upon your site. Once upon a time you could buy them at the deli I havent seen them in years. Once you put aside the notion of where those feet have been…they are truly delicious.
I did finally blog about my pigs’ feet adventure.
OK, I never did it. Sorry. I was sooo determined to get that jar, and I looked and looked at the supermarket…. and then I found it, waaayyyy down on the lowest shelf at the very end of all offerings. And, looking at the jar, I immediately understood why it was put there. It looks so gross that I don’t even want to touch the jar, let stand open it. At the same time, I feel heartbroken that for some people, this is their special treat. And for some people, the special treat is cat or dog food. Makes me feel that we all should tone it down a bit and try more humbleness, or whatever you call that in proper English.
Oh-oh. Re-reading my comment I realize that it makes me sound like I want to lecture people for having some innocent fun. Not at all. Fact is that there are so many people here in town who just can’t afford much. Their carts at the supermarket are loaded with cheap, bad-for-you food. That makes me feel guilty, helpless, and critical of my own behavior. But I did enjoy reading all the comments to your pig feet blog!
Finally found a recipe …..everybody tried them and loved them….even my kids friends were willing to give them a try…well the jar was finished in one night. My point is don’t knock them until you try them. I do wish I could find them in a grocery store but I still havent had any luck.
The Pumkin Patch says
Just found your website via Shannon’s….HILARIOUS! I’m so doing this next time I’m at the grocery store!
I’ve visited your blog many times but just today clicked on the pig’s feet. How hilarious! My husband would NEVER notice. Probably not even if I put them next to Old Bessy or on his nightstand… ha!
Oh my word! I can’t believe I missed this post. I must have missed it when clicking the ALL READ button in a moment of craziness. This is the best little game EVER! I’m so upset because I just got back from the store an hour ago – I so would have bought some Pig’s Feet. Next time I hit the store I’m so jumpin’ in the game!
This is hilarious!! I love your blog!