I could hear their bickering from upstairs and tried to ignore them. Soon it spilled out into the hall and shortly Laylee was at my side with her arms folded.
“Mom! Magoo’s being so mean to me.”
“Yeah?” I asked, with a bored tone to my voice.
“Mo-om. He’s being so mean, like really really mean,” she continued, visibly distressed.
“What did he do?”
“He was calling me ‘Laylee Middle Name Thompson’!”
NO! He dared to call you by your NAME!? Like your full NAME!? That I gave you!?
I’m trying to think of a punishment for that particular crime. I’ve got nothing. I could call him by his full name but that doesn’t escalate things at all and I’m all about escalation. Maybe I could also start referring to all of his body parts by their correct biological names, his fingers becoming phalanges, his jaw becoming a mandible. I don’t know though. It’s just so MEAN…this proper name-calling.