Well after reading your comments today, I checked back into the “male nurse” fiasco and discovered that he is actually a Nurse Practitioner so I feel a little sheepish. I feel much more calm after letting it sit for another 24 hours. Do you ever go back and read a blog post and think, “Wow. I was really worked up about that yesterday. Hmph. Oh well.”? I do.
As a side note though, do you call a nurse practitioner a “doctor” because that’s what she called him? I should also point out that the ER was clean and everyone treated us very nicely when they weren’t ignoring us for hours at a time. Several of you also mentioned that you ARE the ones mostly responsible for your children’s health care. I’m also the main caregiver for my children. I just resent that the assumption was made, to the extent that they left Dan completely out of the conversation.
Kathryn, I have had this experience in the past also. In our state there is way more info about the birth mother than father on the child’s birth certificate. It pretty much only lists his name and date of birth. Evidently the sperm contributor is much less important to vital statistics than the one who contributed the egg.
Glad that Laylee’s neck issue wasn’t anything serious.
My GYN office has a nurse midwife and our peds office has a nurse practitioner and neither are referred to as “doctor”. Both are just called by their names.
off topic: I’m getting out the wisemen this week. if you come over and pretend to drop them I’ll totally let you wear my green sweater.
Yeah… I’ve actually gone back and deleted posts that I wrote when I was frazzled. Like the one I wrote about my brother-in-law who told my sister that he wished they hadn’t had another baby. I deleted the post I wrote about that…. :S
I’m definitely in the post first, think later category, although how were you gonna know that? You’re not omnipotent. And the assumptions on the health care would’ve steamed me too.
Awesome Mom says
The nurse probably thought that a doctor was going to check in on you but the NP took over and did it instead. You would never call a NP doctor because they are not. I call the NP that works with Evan’s cardiologist Alice because that is her name. I had been wondering if the “doctor” was not an NP because they are the only nursey type of people that are allowed to discharge patients like that with out seeing an actual doctor.
Not unless they have a doctorate, unless it’s just to keep your kids from getting confused. Usually they go by Mr. or Mrs. so and so or Nurse so and so, or just by first names, which is what typically makes them so wonderful, as they are easy to relate to…of course there are exceptions… and here was one.
What I dislike most for you is that they assumed you had nothing better to do for hours. Why can’t they get you in and out since they “knew” it wasn’t an emergency? It’s not like they charge by the minute like a private dancer…
That aside, the fact that they did not tell you that it was a Nurse Practitioner assisting you should set alarms off everywhere. The courtesy that I’ve always received has been that they ask if I would mind seeing the NP. In your case, I would have said no. You were in the ER after all.
Hope Laylee is back to being her bossy self soon!
We’ve had a frustrating hours-in-the-ER experience ourselves, and I don’t blame you for being worked up. I wrote a blog post about my experience that vented every single ounce of frustration I had and was so long I think only my husband read the whole thing.
As for calling NPs doctors, in my experience they are usually very clear about NOT calling themselves doctors. I see a certified nurse-midwife for my OB appointments, and when filling out a lab slip for me to take to the hospital, she actually crossed out the word doctor on a pre-written space that said “doctor’s name,” and simply wrote her name in the blank. I think in the medical world they usually try to be clear about who is a “mid-level practitioner” (NPs, Physicians Assistants, CNMs–people who can do most of the things doctors can but have not had quite the same training), and who is not. Odd that they were not so clear for you.
Couldn’t agree with you more! Uh….Noooooo, we’d like to see the DOCTOR (the real one!). Nothing against PT’s BUT, when it comes to the kiddies…in the ER, doctor please! Heck, when it comes to ME in the ER…doctor please!!! My twin sister ended up in the ER with west nile……after seeing a PT (male by the way) for a week with symptoms. He just kept sending her home with antibiotics saying she was fighting a nasty bug! YA, no kidding! She ended up in ICU and almost died! Two years later she’s made an almost full recovery. Anyway, all i’m saying is DOCTOR please!
I didn’t read all the backlash, but I understood what you were saying. Gender issues are really big for me, especially where defining marital and parental roles are concerned. I wrote this article on Father’s Day that may interest you about this very subject. It has spawned many conversations on and off the blog since then.
SINCE I happen to be in nursing school, I will come right out and say that the fact that this “practitioner” did not even introduce himself is very unprofessional. No matter what his title is, he should have let you know who he is and at least shook your hand.
I have no comment about the fact that they totally ignored Dan. That is just plain weird. I guess they just pretty much assume that only the Mom is privy to what is going on with the child. However I know some pretty great stay-at-home Dads so that seems quite discriminatory.
Baby Dumpling's Poppa says
What gets me when the NP does the treatment you are charged as if a DR did the treatment and that bothers me. I have noticed our baby’s doctor talks more with my wife than with me, which is fine because my wife always looks to me when it comes to taking care of the family health. We haven’t had to visit the ER yet for the baby, but I actually have a mental list of which one to go to depending on urgency, time of day, day of the week, if it’s for baby or adult.
The other day I saw our friend that is a nurse practitioner so I asked him what is he called. Definitely not doctor he said, you can get into big trouble for that. He will usually introduce himself as a NP and then say “call me Dave”.
But since he is often the only medical practitioner the patients often see – they do refer to him as doctor and then he reminds them. Some call him “my little doctor” (ummm the may also have to do with his stature).
Said there is no real good title.