Some bugs will be “sleeping” well tonight.
Seeing as we live in the land of cows, sailboats and gigantic soul-sucking slugs, it is not surprising that the grass to creepy-crawly ratio in our back yard is about 6.9 to 1. That is 6.9 bugs, slugs or indescribably weird mobile mutant mucus logs per 1 blade of grass.
They can be classified into 3 major groups:
1. Spiders — anything with more legs than Magoo. This number is fuzzy. He moves at a speed which makes the counting of limbs impractical, if not downright dangerous.
2. Bees — anything that flies and is not a dragonfly or butterfly. Dragonflies and butterflies are too pretty to be classified as bugs. All other flying insects are bees and will be repeatedly yelled at and told to “GO MAKE HONEY! GO NOW! BEE GO!”
3. ReallyYuckyUglyBugs — All other bugs fall in this category. I am constantly “removing” bugs from our house. Laylee says that if they’re nice bugs we can take them outside and reunite them with their families. If they’re
strikingly unattractive really mean, they must die at the hand of los kleenexicos.
Today she was playing outside when she found a ReallyYuckyUglyBug.
Laylee: Mom! I found a ReallyYuckyUglyBug!
Me: Where is it?
Laylee: It’s right HERE.
Me: What do you want me to do about that?
Laylee: Just get it and take it away.
Me: Remember about bugs? Where did we say they live?
Laylee [looking at me like I’m a moron]: OUTSIDE.
Me: Exactly. Where do you want me to take it?
Me: Outside is away. Do you want me to let it live inside our house instead?
Me: Where? In your bedroom?
Laylee: No. In the TRASH!
Yes, I see. And once I’ve finished the ethnic cleansing of our backyard, would you like to help me develop a plan for world domination?
I’m with Laylee. I try to get the bugs outside if they are not too frightening or large. Spiders generally get the Ben Specialty, which means he has to get them and flush them down the toilet. I am getting soft-hearted in my old age, however. I have on occasion, I kid you not, prayed spiders out of my house, because I did not want to kill them, but staying in my home was not an option.
all bugs must die. I falter before no bug (except silverfish – you have to sneak up on those.)
Ha! That is one smart girl! My son calls them “yucky bugs”. When they are outside and he notifies me of their presence, I ask him if they have bitten him (no) well then i tell him, they must be nice bugs.
Secretly I hate all bugs!!!
Very funny, your kids sound pretty cute.
Trivial Mom says
Any bug that mistakenly finds its way into my house must die! Unless of course I can’t catch it (those darn fruit flies!) or can’t see it (the spider with the huge web behind my storage boxes).
At two years old, Googie already hates bugs. I don’t know how much of it is from watching me, and how much is just her being a girl. We’ll find a bug (mostly slugs) on the ground and she’ll look at it, from a distance. But even then after a couple of seconds she gets a little freaked out and frantically says “die bug, die!”
Okay so she doesn’t really mean “die” per say. That’s how she says bye, but it makes for an interesting mis-read.
I tried telling my 2yo little guy that spiders live outside! “That’s their home! It’s okay for spiders to be outside!” He nodded like he believed me, then calmly walked over and stomped on the thing himself.
Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom says
Layle and I would get along swimmingly. I hate bugs especially in my house. Lily now tells them to “get lost” and “scram”…I wonder where she gets that from?
I protect all bugs from family and grandchildren who are taught by me that all animals, even bugs, have a right to live. exception to this are mosquitos and horse flies, and if I find a flea, its cut in two with thumbnail, but with the new doggy anti-flea ointments, fleas seemed to have vanished.
Ethnic cleansing, ha!
There are great sprays at Home Depot that you can spray around all your doors and windows. Bugs and spiders don’t like to cross it–for months! It has massively reduced the migration of spiders into my home.
I am looking for a few good killers. If she would agree to move to the east cost I could set her up in the industry.
My kids try to eat bugs. Could they be any more disgusting? (do not answer that, please)
Heather from One Woman's World says
mwahaha! This is sooooo hilarious! 🙂
This is a rad kid.
Nasty yucky ugly bugs freak me out. I have no trouble killing them,especially if they invade my space. On my first day of teaching kindergarten, I clapped a flying black bug in the air, just infront of my face. All of the wee children had an immediate melt-down. “YOU KILLED BLACKIE!!!” Apparently, the teacher who I replaced had taught them all the sanctity of life in relation to buggies. Who knew?
My sister once called my niece to come in from playing outside. She was about 3 at the time. (My niece, not my sister.) (Good grief – who would already have a KID at age 3?! What were you thinking?!?) And my niece said, “Hang on, I need to talk to this bug for a minute.”
Rebellious 17yo guy says
Oh my! 😀 Your daughter wins my vote hands down. If it’s smaller then me, and not in anyway pretty, it suffers “the sky is falling!” treatment, in which a large object (I.E. shoe or baseball bat) crushes it… and in a rapid order as well until I literally can see it squirm no more. Alas, butterflies are one of the prettiest things in my mind.. perhaps I’m a bug nazi? Who knows.